Funny Sayings for Facebook

Recently I was checking out some of the Facebook status updates of my friends and I was surprised at some of the really hilarious sayings that some of them had used. Hats off to them for coming up with such great stuff while it takes me days to come up with a new status only to get a comment 'I really wish Facebook had an unlike option and after reading your status I am sure the makers are thinking of getting one". It's now a trend to use some funny Facebook status and have people liking it and commenting on it. I am sure there are many unlucky not - so - frequent - user - of - Facebook like me, who are in dire need for some cool and funny sayings for Facebook, which will make their profile 'liked' by many. Well, do not worry, because I have compiled some of the funny sayings and phrases which I would love to share with you and help you out. I am sure you are going to like them.

Facebook Statues You'll Love

Few days back when I thought of changing my Facebook status, all I ended up doing was, staring at my profile for at least 20 minutes and then logging out even without typing a single word. I was totally blank and could not come up with any funny Facebook status quotes like my other friends. I believe you would not like to face a similar situation like me? Here are some status messages which are no longer going to leave your status section empty.

• Some things man was never meant to know. For everything else, there's Google.
• Aaah! Finally I got a password for my computer other than just "password".
• One should learn how to save water! Go and shower with your neighbor's daughter.
• Have you ever had a fly land on your computer screen and your first reaction is to try to scare it with the cursor? (I don't know about you, but I have done this a couple of times).
• ...isfaci ngamaj orprob lemwi hisspa cebarple asehelp.
• Be nice to nerds. Who knows probably you will be working for them one day.
• I do give the waiters a good tip, but they never seem to take or appreciate my advice.
• Dear Lord, please give me some patience NOW! NOW! NOW!
• Oh hello! I see that the assassins have failed.
• Making some changes to my life. Please leave a message and in case I don't get back, then know that you are one of the changes.
• At the airport customs, if you are asked "do you have any firearms with you?" never reply, "Why? What do you need?"
• Status loading ████████████ 99%
• ʎɐqǝ uo pɹɐoqʎǝʞ ɐ ʎnq ı ǝɯıʇ ʇsɐן ǝɥʇ sı sıɥʇ.
• What do I do when I see someone extremely gorgeous? I stare, I smile, and when I get tired, I just put down the mirror. Simple!
• Not all men are fools. There are still some bachelors.
• ...is ^ *%cl*$ea^%?n*&in##g h@!er ke$%yb*!@oa^*rd##
• ..is dead. Yet here you are reading her update. What does that make you?
• ...is a big mystery that you can never solve.
• I said 'no' to drugs, but they simply would not listen.
• ...does not suffer from insanity. She is enjoying every minute of it.
• I am proud of myself. I finished the puzzle in just 6 months while the box said 2 to 4 years.
• ...thinks that if your relationship status is "it's complicated", then it's high time that you change it to 'single'.
• My computer beats me at chess. So what? It was no match for me at kick boxing.
• ...is color blind but is still trying to solve a Rubik cube. This could take a while.
• Women who seek to be at an equal level with men, lack ambition.
• Is swearing to drunk that he is not God.
• ...Bought some batteries for my children as Christmas gift and it has a note that says 'toys not included'.
• Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back ever.
• Children in backseats cause accidents - Accidents in backseats cause children.
• Always remember that stupidity is not a crime, so you are free to go.
• I think, and thus we have nothing in common.
• Statistically speaking, 8/6 people have trouble computing fractions.
• ...is wondering when can a chicken cross the road without being questioned?
• ...wants to kill the sexiest person alive, but suicide is a crime.
• If only life came with a ◄◄ REW ► PLAY ▌▌PAUSE █▌STOP
• ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ click star then up arrow to left to reveal status.
• ....went to the book store earlier to buy a 'Where's Wally' book. When I got there, I couldn't find the book anywhere. Well played Wally, well played.
• Congratulations! You've just read this sentence.
• Well! You are wrong if you think that I have short attention sp........ hey! what a pretty little flower!
• Where there is a will, there are 100 relatives.
• ...warns you to be careful with your head, cause once upon a time, even he had an open mind until all his brains fell off.
• A guy knocked on my door today asking for a donation for the local primary school's pool. I went away and came back with a cup of water..... Is that wrong?

More Statues to Read

Now that you have some funny Facebook status quotes and sayings, let us see what are some of the cool Facebook status ideas. Want help in getting some really cool Facebook statuses or sayings that are sure to make your profile a major hit amongst your friends? Then here are some really cool Facebook status messages which you can try out.

• If you try and don't succeed, cheat. Repeat until caught. Then lie.
• ...is thinking of some really cool things to say just after inhaling from a helium balloon.
• You have 10 fish out of which 5 drowns and 3 comes back to life. So how many fish do you have now? Please stop counting you smart people because fish cannot drown.
• ...is the kid next door's imaginary friend.
• ...is thinking of merging MySpace, Facebook, YouTube and Twitter and call it 'My Face You Twit'.
• Hey my name is Ratnasmimeri and the 'mime' is silent.
• ...decided to burn lots of calories today, hence what he did was set a fat kid on fire.
• Have you ever wondered why the newspaper becomes 15 times more interesting when someone else is reading it?
• Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
• Make love, not war. Hell, do both. Get married.

So did you find these messages interesting? With these funny things to say on Facebook, your profile will easily become the most 'liked' profile. Use them today and see the difference. I did and the above comment is history.