Funny Quotes

Hey everyone, looking forward to having a few laughs that will help relieve your stress? There is a sweet and simple way to do so. Yes, all you need to do is read a few funny quotes and sayings. These funny quotes are not only full of humor but also wit and satire that makes your day cheerful. You can use some of the quotes as a poster or your desktop screen saver, You may even send the funny love quotes and sayings as an email, text message or greeting to your loved ones and spread the joy. Laughter is the best way to beat stress and overcome gloom. Spend some time reading the assortment of funny quotes and sayings I have gathered just for you.

Funny Quotes and Sayings

If you find your life is down the dumps and covered with somber thoughts of despair, cheer up with by reading some of the following quotes and sayings.

It's better to be looked over, than overlooked. ~ Mae West

So scary. Just got woken up to a guy trying to break into my house holding 2 big knives. Cops are here arresting him. ~ Tweet from Paris Hilton.

It's a recession when your neighbor loses his job: it's a depression when you lose yours. ~ Harry S. Truman

Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry. ~ Bill Cosb

Gentlemen. You can't fight in here. This is the War Room. ~ President Merkin Muffley (Peter Sellers) in 'Dr. Strangelove'

Men are like steel; both are worthless when they lose their temper. ~ Unknown

Funny Quotes about Life

Funny quotes about life make you laugh at life, especially when you are having a really bad day. The following quotes about life will help your worries evaporate and lose the sense of despair hovering over your mood.

You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'. ~ Homer Simpson

Silence is golden but duct tape is silver. ~ Anonymous

You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly, but I bet you ain't never seen a donkey fly! Ha, ha! ~ Eddie Murphy in Shrek

No matter how bad things get, you got to go on living, even if it kills you. ~ Sholom Aleichem

Life is like an onion. Why is life like an onion? Because you peel away layer after layer and when you come to the end you have nothing. ~ Yiddish Proverb

My advice to those who are about to begin, in earnest, the journey of life, is to take their heart in one hand and a club in the other. ~ Josh Billings

Funny Quotes about Love

The truth behind being in love is that one needs to take it with a pinch of salt and a dash of lemon. It is a bitter-sweet feeling that either lifts your 'spirit' up or make you lift up 'spirits'. Either way, we all want to fall in love sometime or the other in our life. The funny quotes about love are full of sarcasm that will make you nod your head in agreement. All those scorned in love or those who are celebrating love, will enjoy the following funny love quotes and sayings .

The man who says his wife can't take a joke, forgets that she took him. ~ Oscar Wilde

When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife is. ~ Unknown

Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener! ~ Unknown

Behind every successful man stands a surprised mother-in-law.

Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed.
-- Albert Einstein

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. ~ Groucho Marx

I was nauseous and tingly all over... I was either in love or I had smallpox. ~ Woddy Allen

These are a few short funny quotes that will make you smile. These cute quotes are short and sweet that get to the point quickly. Hope you have enjoyed the funny sayings covered in the above paragraphs. After all, laughter is the best medicine.