Funny Graduation Quotes

You don your mortarboard cap and glossy gown to mark your march down the commencement podium. Your family, teachers and friends look at you with a glint of pride in their eyes, as this is the day you graduate from senior high or college. This is one day that all parents, students and even teachers await, as this day comes after a lot of hard work and sweat put in by all.

You may need to say a few words during your graduation ceremony with all eyes are fixed on you. This is a time when you need to choose your words wisely and say thanks to the deserving people and the institution that gave you a chance. This is a very emotional moment and you can bring this highly charged situation at a bit lighter note with some interesting and funny graduation quotes. If you are writing your graduation speech and looking for some funny graduation quotes to add, the following graduation quotes will help you add a bit of humor.

Funny Graduation Quotes
Are you ready to please the audience with a funny high school graduation speech? But are jittery about the audience forgetting to laugh at your puns? Well, worry not, all you need is to say the right jokes at the right time in the right tone. Do not use the usual jokes, instead quote some famous people and use their funny lines in your speech. The following funny graduation quotations will help you make a simple speech into a great speech.

Funny High School Graduation Quotes
"I have never been jealous. Not even when my dad finished fifth grade a year before I did." ~ Jeff Foxworthy "High School is a lot like toilet paper, you only miss it when its gone." "College isn't the place to go for ideas." ~ Helen Keller "In the first place God made idiots; that was for practice; then he made school boards." ~ Mark Twain "Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing worth knowing can be taught." ~ Oscar Wilde "If you can find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn't lead anywhere." ~ Frank A. Clark "A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that "individuality" is the key to success." ~ Robert Orben "Education is a progressive discovery of your own ignorance." ~ Will Durant "I have never let my schooling interfere with my education." ~ Mark Twain "My school was so tough the school newspaper had an obituary section." ~ Norm Crosby "Your families are extremely proud of you. You can't imagine the sense of relief they are experiencing. This would be a most opportune time to ask for money." ~ Gary Bolding "It is indeed ironic that we spend our school days yearning to graduate and our remaining days waxing nostalgic about our school days." ~ Isabel Waxman

Funny College Graduation Quotes
"People will frighten you about a graduation....They use words you don't hear often... "And we wish you Godspeed." It is a warning, Godspeed. It means you are no longer welcome here at these prices." ~ Bill Cosby "Graduation speeches were invented largely in the belief that college students should never be released into the world until they have been properly sedated." ~ Garry Trudeau "You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know. You are the guy who'll decide where to go." ~ Dr. Seuss "There is a good reason they call these ceremonies "commencement exercises." Graduation is not the end; it's the beginning." ~ Orrin Hatch "Yes, the lectures are optional. Graduation is also optional." ~ Bob Bickford "The advantage of a classical education is that it enables you to despise the wealth that it prevents you from achieving." ~ Russell Green "Academe, n.: An ancient school where morality and philosophy were taught. Academy, n.: A modern school where football is taught." ~ Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary

These are a few funny graduation quotes that you can use to add to your graduation speech or write it down on the card given with the graduation gift, you are going to present someone. There are many more graduation quotes on the Internet that will not only tickle the ribs of the audience, but also enlighten and inspire them for the future.