Funny Get Well Sayings
There's nothing like some funny get well sayings to cheer up an ill friend or relative. Here are some funny get well sayings that you can use to spread said cheer.

- I reckon being ill as one of the great pleasures of life, provided one is not too ill and is not obliged to work till one is better. ~ Samuel Butler
- Get-well cards have become so humorous that if you don't get sick you're missing half the fun.
- Be careful when reading health books; you may die of a misprint. ~ Mark Twain
- A bad cold wouldn't be so annoying if it weren't for the advice of our friends. ~ Kin Hubbard
- It is a mathematical fact that fifty percent of all doctors graduate in the bottom half of their class. ~ Unknown
- If I'd known I was going to live so long, I'd have taken better care of myself. ~ Leon Eldred
- Physical ills are the taxes laid upon this wretched life; some are taxed higher, and some lower, but all pay something. ~ Lord Chesterfield
- Sickness is the vengeance of nature for the violation of her laws. ~ Charles Simmons
- Sometimes I get the feeling the aspirin companies are sponsoring my headaches. ~ V. L. Allineare
- When an illness knocks you on your ass, you should stay down and relax for a while before trying to get back up. ~ Candea Core-Starke
- I enjoy convalescence. It is the part that makes the illness worthwhile. ~ George Bernard Shaw
- I wonder why you can always read a doctor's bill and you can never read his prescription. ~ Finley Peter Dunne
- You have a cough? Go home tonight; eat a whole box of Ex-Lax - tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough.~ Pearl Williams
- If I had my way I'd make health catching instead of disease. ~ Robert Ingersoll
- The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. ~ Voltaire
- Warning: Humor may be hazardous to your illness. ~ Ellie Katz
- Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill. ~ Johnny Carson
- I learned a long time ago that minor surgery is when they do the operation on someone else, not you. ~ Bill Walton
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