Funny Christmas Card Sayings

The Christmas season brings with it an air of positivity and joy. New year celebrations that follow shortly, prove to be an icing on the cake. The funny Christmas card sayings and quotes act as a pinch of salt being added to these joyous moments of life. The bonds that holds together family members, relatives and friends get strengthened by communicating your thoughts and feelings through such messages and sayings. There are a number of such funny quotes and sayings enlisted below. Christmas season is marked by an emotional outflow that is best captured in these funny quotes. One of the important aspects of the Christmas season is the expenses and humor associated with it. You would find many sources of funny quotes and sayings that bring out the mixed feelings about credit card spending and the funny side of it. One can use the quotes listed in this article as Christmas card messages, for e-cards and also to update the status on social networking sites.

Funny Christmas Card Quotes and Sayings

The quotes mentioned in this article can be used as Christmas card messages. Along with funny quotes, few of the messages suitable for business cards also are included. Some of the popular Christian Christmas sayings can also be found in the paragraphs below. Let us first take a look at the funny Christmas card sayings.

• Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas. ~Johnny Carson
• I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying: 'Toys not included. ~Bernard Manning
• Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit. ~Frank McKinney "Kin" Hubbard
• A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. ~Garrison Keillor
• I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. ~Shirley Temple
• I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays. ~Henry Youngman
• The one thing women don't want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband. ~Joan Rivers
• No self-respecting mother would run out of intimidations on the eve of a major holiday. ~Emma Bombeck
• The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other. ~Johnny Carson
• Oh look, yet another Christmas TV special! How touching to have the meaning of Christmas brought to us by cola, fast food, and beer. Who'd have ever guessed that product consumption, popular entertainment, and spirituality would mix so harmoniously? ~Bill Watterson in Calvin and Hobbes
• Santa is very jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live. ~Dennis Miller
• Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered. ~Phyllis Diller
• I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark. ~Dick Gregory
• Christmas is a time when people of all religions come together to worship Jesus Christ. ~Bart Simpson in The Simpsons
• Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people once a year. ~Victor Borge
• What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a new job the next day. ~Phyllis Diller
• Christmas is a time when kids tell Santa what they want and adults pay for it. Deficits are when adults tell the government what they want and their kids pay for it. ~Richard Lamm
• Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall. ~Larry Wilde
• Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we'll be seeing six or seven. ~W. C. Fields
• Santa Claus wears a Red Suit, He must be a communist. And a beard and long hair, must be a pacifist. What's in that pipe that he's smoking? ~Arlo Guthrie
• Let me see if I've got this Santa business straight. You say he wears a beard, has no discernible source of income and flies to cities all over the world under cover of darkness? You sure this guy isn't laundering illegal drug money? ~Tom Armstrong
• You know you're getting old, when Santa starts looking younger. ~Robert Paul
• Were it not for the shepherds, there would have been no reception. And were it not for a group of stargazers, there would have been no gifts. ~Max Lucado

Business Christmas Card Sayings
Christmas cards with suitable quotes sent to clients can be useful in strengthening the relations. One can also make new contacts through business cards during Christmas. Let us have a look at a few of the business Christmas sayings.

• Wishing you a joyous Christmas and Happy New Year.
• Season's greetings with best wishes for the New Year.
• May the Christmas blessings remain with you forever.
• Best wishes for Christmas and the coming year from our entire organization.
• All of us join in wishing you a wonderful Holiday Season and a happy New Year.
• This year Santa's starting a new incentive program... Be Good or You are Dead Meat.
• All of us at (organization's name) join in saying Thank You and wishing you a happy holiday and a prosperous new year.

Christian Christmas Card Sayings
Here are a few Christian Christmas sayings which can be used as messages for cards. Most of these quotes are taken from religious scriptures.

• Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. ~Romans 5:1
• Count your blessings, count them one by one. Count your blessings, see what God has done! Merry Christmas!
• May your heart and home be filled with the true spirit of Christmas ~JESUS!
• And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch of their flocks at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord. ~Luke 2:8-11

The funny Christmas card sayings from this article should help us enjoy the festival and spread happiness. The Christmas season is known to brings out the best in us. The quotes and sayings enlisted above reflect the same.