Funny Christmas Card Messages

You wouldn't believe me when I say this, but while writing Christmas messages, I sometimes get a mental block. I've always made it a point to send witty, intelligent, funny, and warm Christmas card messages to my family and friends. But at times, the words just don't stay with me and make me feel as if there's nothing left for me to say or write. The holiday season brings a wonderful and splendid atmosphere that I just get lost in it. And sometimes, it even helps in writing my Christmas messages to family and friends. However, there have been times when I just can't seem to pen my thoughts down properly. But what to do? The Christmas cards need to be sent out and there's not much time to waste. So, when you need to use Christmas card sayings and quotes, where do you turn to? The Internet, of course. There are tons of funny holiday greeting card sayings which you can use. And just so it happens, we've made a list of those. But before that, take a look at the sample Christmas cards to help you get your cards out before it's too late.

Christmas Card Templates

While coming up with ideas on what to write on a card, we often times forget to consider the picture. Many people take family pictures around the fireplace and Christmas tree, and some try an altogether different approach. Well, whatever you decide, you can easily incorporate your ideas with the help of the following templates. *Click on the images for a better look.

The Magic of Christmas is Breathtaking! The greatest gift this holiday season is the love of family and friends. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! The Carter Family Jessica & Rob Sam, Isabella, & Matthew

Have yourself a merry little Christmas, Let your heart be light From now on, our troubles will be out of sight. Have yourself a merry little Christmas, Make the Yule-tide gay, From now on, our troubles will be miles away. Johnathan and Jennifer Davis

Funny Christmas Card Ideas

When words fail you and leave you stranded while writing the Christmas cards, the following quotes and sayings may just do the trick. Surprise everyone with these hilarious saying by famous people and create a unique Christmas this year.

Funny Christmas Card Sayings
When you want to send a special, witty message across to your friends and family, and want to be unique this year, writing these funny Christmas sayings can help. But do remember, only write these greetings sayings to those who won't find them offensive in any way.

• Christmas is the Disneyfication of Christianity ~ Don Cupitt
• Christmas, children, is not a date. It is a state of mind. ~ Mary Ellen Chase
• You know you're getting old, when Santa starts looking younger. ~ Robert Paul
• Roses are reddish, Violets are bluish, If it weren't for Christmas, We'd all be Jewish. ~ Benny Hill
• Christmas is a race to see which gives out first - your money or your feet. ~ Anonymous
• What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic. ~ Anonymous
• Christmas is the season when you buy this year's gifts with next year's money. ~ Anonymous
• Christmas is for children. But it is for grownups too. Even if it is a headache, a chore, and nightmare, it is a period of necessary defrosting of chill and hide-bound hearts. ~ Lenora Weber
• There are three stages of man: he believes in Santa Claus; he does not believe in Santa Claus; he is Santa Claus. ~ Bob Phillips
• Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas. ~ Johnny Carson
• I wish we could put up some of the Christmas spirit in jars and open a jar of it every month. ~ Harlan Miller
• A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. ~ Garrison Keillor
• The one thing women don't want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband. ~ Joan Rivers
• Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit. ~ Kin Hubbard
• Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit. ~ Anonymous
• From a commercial point of view, if Christmas did not exist, it would be necessary to invent it. ~ Katharine Whitehorn
• Did you ever notice that life seems to follow certain patterns? Like I noticed that every year around this time, I hear Christmas music. ~ Tom Sims
• The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin. ~ Jay Leno
• Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we'll be seeing six or seven. ~ W. C. Fields
• Dear Lord, I've been asked, nay commanded, to thank Thee for the Christmas turkey before us... a turkey which was no doubt a lively, intelligent bird... a social being... capable of actual affection... nuzzling its young with almost human - like compassion. Anyway, it's dead and we're gonna eat it. Please give our respects to its family... ~ Berke Breathed

Funny Christmas Card Quotes
Not satisfied yet? Need more funny Christmas card sayings? We aren't done either. There are many more funny Christmas card ideas and quotes. Want to find out what they are? Then keep reading.

• Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people once a year. ~ Victor Borge
• There has been only one Christmas, the rest are anniversaries. ~ W. J. Cameron
• Santa is very jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live. ~ Dennis Miller
• Christmas is a time when you get homesick - even when you're home. ~ Carol Nelson
• I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up, they have no holidays. ~ Henry Youngman
• Blessed is the season which engages the whole world in a conspiracy of love! ~ Hamilton Wright Mabie
• The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other. ~ Johnny Carson
• He who has no Christmas in his heart will never find Christmas under a tree. ~ Sunshine Magazine
• Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall. ~ Larry Wilde
• I stopped believing in Santa Claus when my mother took me to see him in a department store, and he asked for my autograph. ~ Shirley Temple
• That's the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me. ~ Jerry Seinfeld
• People really act weird at Christmas time! What other time of year do you sit in front of a dead tree in the living room and eat nuts and sweets out of your socks? ~ Anonymous
• Anyone, who believes that men are the equal of women, has never seen a man trying to wrap a Christmas present. ~ Anonymous
• I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included. ~ Bernard Manning
• Christmas is a time when kids tell Santa what they want and adults pay for it. Deficits are when adults tell the government what they want and their kids pay for it. ~ Richard Lamm
• Santa Claus wears a Red Suit, He must be a communist. And a beard and long hair, Must be a pacifist. What's in that pipe that he's smoking? ~ Arlo Guthrie
• Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered. What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day. ~ Phyllis Diller
• Let me see if I've got this Santa business straight. You say he wears a beard, has no discernible source of income and flies to cities all over the world under cover of darkness? You sure this guy isn't laundering illegal drug money? ~ Tom Armstrong

The only time you're going to be using these funny card messages when you have to send them to your close friends. These are the people you can really joke around with these funny Christmas quotes and sayings.

Besides these funny Christmas card messages, you can use lines from some of your favorite Christmas songs as well. After all, it's all about being innovative and creative while writing in the cards.