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Funny Alcohol Quotes

Here's a funny take on alcoholism. Read these funny quotes on alcohol and know how this potent drink can really play with your mind!
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Alcoholism is not a funny issue, but there are many funny quotes on alcohol that I have come across! These quotes highlight the lighter side of consuming alcohol. However, some of them actually have a serious note as well beneath the humor. Take a look at these funny quotes and laugh out loud with your friends and family!

An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools. - Ernest Hemingway

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her. - W.C. Fields

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? - Stephen Wright

The problem with some people is that when they aren't drunk, they're sober. - William Butler Yeats

Beer makes you feel the way you ought to feel without beer. - Henry Lawson

I feel sorry for people who don't drink. They wake up in the morning and that's the best they're going to feel all day. - Dean Martin

I'm not as think as you drunk I am. - Unknown

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. - Kinky Friedman

I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds, and fast cars. The rest I just squandered. - George Best

Alcohol removes inhibitions - like that scared little mouse who got drunk and shook his whiskers and shouted: "Now bring on that damn cat!" - Eleanor Early

I only take a drink on two occasions - when I'm thirsty and when I'm not. - Brendan Behan

I have made an important discovery... that alcohol, taken in sufficient quantities, produces all the effects of intoxication. - Oscar Wilde

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. - Henny Youngman

I drink to make other people interesting. - George Jean Nathan

Dear Alcohol, we had a deal, you were going to make me funnier, sexier, more intelligent and a better dancer. I saw the video, we need to talk. - Anonymous

I used to think drinking was bad for me... So I gave up thinking. - Anonymous

I would date you, but my heart already belongs to Jack Daniels. - Anonymous

Sometimes I drink water to surprise my liver. - Anonymous

You look like I need another drink. - Anonymous

I distrust camels and anyone else who can go a week without a drink. - Joe E. Lewis

Alcohol does not solve problems, but then again, neither does milk. - Anonymous

If I ever go missing, I want my picture on a wine bottle instead of a milk carton, this way my friends will know I am missing. - Anonymous

You can't drink all day if you don't start in the morning. - Anonymous

I would give up drinking, but I am not a quitter. - Anonymous

I realize I may not be everyone's cup of tea. I'd rather be someone's shot of Tequila anyway. - Anonymous
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Last Updated: November 7, 2012
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Comments
It is a fallacy that Alcohol makes you Fat...

it doesn't.

It actually makes you LEAN ...

against
Bars,
Poles,
Walls,
Friends &
strange Women .
- Neves Sequeira [September 18, 2013]
Taking Alcohol is dangerous...
Well, that's why am paying for it.
- Sheriff T Kenny [January 25, 2013]
Hilarious... - RS [November 8, 2012]