Forever and Always (chapter 12)

What was he doing outside my house in the middle of the night? And what if I was actually sleeping? Would he have waited for me all night? I don’t think he would have but why did he really come here.

I washed my face, and put on a long, black dress with a short jacket to go with it. I just put on my eye liner, mascara, and a lip gloss. I quickly chose a silver sandal, took my purse and I was ready to go.

He was outside his car. A beautiful smile appeared in his face when he saw me walking towards him. I had to remind myself to breathe in front of him.

"Hi," I greeted him.

"Its cold, get inside," He opened the door and I obeyed.

He took the drivers seat, and his voice came out huskily, "Couldn’t sleep?"

"Nope." I shook my head.

He smiled. "So you were really thinking about me?"

I blushed. "Um, I-, um…"

"I was thinking of you too," He confessed. "I know it is kind of late, but I want to take you somewhere."

"Where?" I asked.

"You will see," He grinned, and I had to remind myself to breathe for the second time. If I couldn’t even act normal in front of him, what was the point of being here? Relax, I tried to sooth myself, but the excitement and thriller was still there.

****.
About half an hour later, I was sitting beside Shane in the bench in front of the beautiful lake, watching the reflection of the trees, star, moon, and Shane’s arms wrapped around me securely, keeping me warm.

"Beautiful," Shane murmured in my ear, and I couldn’t be sure who he was referring to as beautiful. The way he said it made me feel like…… Beautiful. Yes, that was exactly what I felt. Locked securely in his arms, with his lips speaking softly into my ears, what else could I feel?

I smiled, and he kissed my cheek.

"My mom is going to kill me if she finds out that I am gone in the middle of the night," I said.

He kept on playing with my hair, and every now and then, kissing my neck softly. "Are you going to be in trouble?"

"If I am going to stay here forever, yes."

"I wish I could keep you with me forever," he kissed my hair.

"Do you mean it?" I asked, turning to look into the green pool.

"I do," I put my arms around his neck, and kissed it lightly. Suddenly he pulled away, searching my eyes.

"If you keep on doing that, I don’t know what I am going to do."

"Do what?" I asked lamely. "Did I do something wrong?"

He gave me a small smile. "You have no idea the kind of effect you have on me."

"You mean it?"

He nodded, and I kissed him in his neck, and giggled. He laughed with me. "That is really not fair," He protested.

"Well, too bad." I shrugged.

"You asked for it," He pulled me close, and kissed me hard, and I was breathless. Was the affect he had on me ever going to change?

"That wasn’t fair," I murmured, and he chuckled.

His mood changed, and he looked a little hesitant. "What?" I asked, reading his expression.

He frowned. "Is my expression that obvious?"

"Yes, but what happened? Is everything okay?" There was no need to worry, but the fear was still there.

"Can we take a walk? I wanted to talk to you. That was my whole point and I still haven’t said the main thing that I had wanted to say."

That actually hurt. Was he planning to break up with me, or what? We weren’t even going out, and did he realize that I wasn’t good enough for him?

There was nothing more I wanted to do than cry, but I had to get better hold of my emotions, and not let him see the affect his words had on me. He just seemed like he actually liked me and here we were. Was this all just a way of saying good bye?

He barely even touched me as we walked around the park. It made my doubts rise.

"Okay, stop pacing around," I commanded, seeing that this was getting us nowhere. He might as well get this over with. "Just say what’s on your mind." Though every word that came out of my mind hurt, I had to do it.

He looked nervous again.

"Are you going to be quite the whole time or what? Learn to talk. It’s annoying the heck out of me." I stopped to calm myself before I explode. "Listen, I think I know what’s on your mind."

"You do?" He seemed shocked, amazed, and relived.

"Yes," I bet my bottom lip to keep from crying.

"You okay with that?" He asked. Without letting me say a word, he continued. "And what about you? Do you somehow, um, feel the same way?"

Every word coming from his lips hurt. How could he even think that? How would I be okay with our beak up…. If you could even call it that. I couldn’t lie to him, and I had to tell him the truth. If the didn’t really have feelings for me, it was better to just stop this relationship from moving any forward.

"No," I confessed. "I don’t feel the same way doesn’t mean you can’t do what you want. It is your life. And I respect everything you have to say."

He looked pained, and hurt. "I am sorry." Why was he acting like this? I just wanted to scream, "Go away. Leave me alone!" But I just couldn’t do that.

"Why are you sorry? It’s your life, and your decision. You get to decide for yourself. Though I am hurt that you would want this, I mean this soon, but I am glad you are saying it now, instead of later. Things would have been worse, if that’s even possible." I whispered the last part to myself. He looked confused and like he was about to say something, but I stopped him. "I know what you are going to say, so just save your word. "I am sorry. We had a wonderful time together, but I think I can’t go on like this. Its not you, its me. I wish things had work out differently between us, but I am sorry. I hope you will forgive me. Bye."" I imitated his voice, and continued. "It’s not something I haven’t heard before, so just save your word for someone else. You don’t want me, and I understand. You probably have some one else, and I am just……" I couldn’t go on, my voice was so thick with emotion, and I had to hold back from crying.

Dave started so laughing and it was so loud, I had to cover my ears. "Why are you laughing? You are so insensitive. Don’t you have any feelings inside of you? Are you that cold hearted? I was so wrong about you. I thought….. that you were not like the rest. I was so wrong. Thanks a lot for proving that you are like all the other jerks. I am stupid. How did I even let myself get so close to you, in just a few days? I was even starting to fall….." I stopped myself from saying the last part.

"What?" I glared at him.

"You don’t need to know. Just mine your own business." I spat the words out angrily.

"Listen." His eyes had softened, and he reached for my arm.

That did it. "Don’t touch me. Go away." He wasn’t willing to let go, so I kicked him, punched him. I did everything in my power but he just stood there, taking the blow without saying a single word. I wonder if his body was made of stone, just like his heart was. I was hitting so hard that any normal person could have said something, but Dave just stood there, waiting.

I was so tired, and I couldn’t even fight anymore. All my energy was gone by fighting him, and as I was about to fall, he caught me right on time. My body just lies limp next to his, and he was supporting all my weight. "Why are you doing this?" My voice was barely audible.

He lifted my chin to get a better view of me. "If you will just listen to me….."

"What is there to listen? Everything is done."

He just rolled his eyes. "Do you realize that you have been talking this whole time, without letting me say a single thing?"

That was true. "But you said you wanted to-" He put a finger in my lips to shut me up, and I felt the urge to bite his finger. He was still making me feel all this weird things that I didn’t wanted to. Even in this situation, I felt like I wanted him.

"Will you just let me talk?" He signed, and removed his finger from my lips. "I never said that I wanted to break up with you. You are just making assumptions."

My eyes widened. But I thought he-

"I though you knew better than that." He seemed disappointed. "Why would I want to break up with you when I want you so much? Why would I want to hurt you when I feel myself hurting in response? Why would I want to stay away from you when all I want to do is be with you? Why would I do that when I ….." He stopped.

"When you what?" I asked with wonder. I had it wrong the whole time. What was wrong with me? I was so worried that he didn’t share my feelings that I started doubting him.

"That was what I wanted to say all along."

"That was why you were so nervous?" Did he just blushed, or my eyes are deceiving me?

He nodded. "I-" He took my hand. "I think I am in love with you,"

I looked at him in horror. Why this really happening? Did he really say that? He shook me lightly but enough for me to come back to life. "You think?" I asked.

"I know I am." I had never felt so happy and complete before. I reached out and kissed him softly. He started kissing me so tenderly that I started moaning every few seconds.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

"Forever and always." He whispered before his lips found mine.