Flower Girl Dresses: Who Picks & Who Pays?

Really THE single most important factor when picking flower girl dresses is the bride’s vision for her perfect day. Too often this is overshadowed by these concerns:

• Expense – she is planning on paying for them and has already over spent her budget or she is hesitant to ask the flower girls’ parents to pay.
• Ideas that the flower girls parents have for the dresses (price, style, color, etc.)
• Ideas that other family and family-to-be have about the flower girl dresses.

These can all be major-league "stressors".

The bride picks her Attendants, and they are expected to accept her choice for attire (gowns & tuxedos) and pay for them.

The same should apply to the flower girls’ dresses.

But some how everybody wants to get into the picture. I’ve seen entire entourages arrive to pick out flower girl dresses – the bride, her mother, her mother-in-law-to-be, a couple of sisters, a bride’s maid and a mother of one or more flower girls. Ridiculous! Decisions by committee are rarely made and can never possibly make everybody happy!

Bottom line is this – the bride asks the parents if they would have their child/ren stand up in her wedding. At that point, they can agree or decline. After that – the decisions are the bride’s.

By trying to please and include everybody, a simple and enjoyable task quickly becomes a nightmare.

That doesn’t mean that the bride shouldn’t ask for suggestions – but they should be clearly specified as SUGGESTIONS. Give a time frame. Have them shop on line and email you with styles that they really like (Tell a Friend features work great for these).

You might take a poll before making your choice as to what each family feels is a "reasonable" amount to pay. But don’t be in the least shocked if they tell you $49.95! The question is really – CAN they afford it but are being cheap, or is it really a struggle for them and you need to some how supplement the cost?

Get these decided up front. It doesn’t have to be the same for everybody. For instance – if you have 3 girls standing up, the family of one may have no problem paying for a $150 dress but the family of the other two girls simply cannot. You can make private arrangements with the family of two and keep it between you.

After that – make your own choice. Don’t let somebody "guilt" you into something that you didn’t want for your wedding!
In the entourage situation mentioned above, I’ve actually seen a bride curl up in the fetal position – she was so overwhelmed with women towering over her all with different ideas and telling her that it’s what SHE wants! And I can assure you, that one didn’t end well, either.

Selecting flower girl dresses can be really fun. They’re sweet and youthful. There’s an enormous range of styles, colors and prices.

Have fun with it! But do it with a maximum of one other person at your side and let your vision of your perfect wedding be your ultimate guide.