Flicker of Hope - Chapter 17

In the last chapter Tanner said he won’t give in without a fight. For my confused reader, what he meant was that he won’t let himself fall for her easily. Love hurt him the first time and he has vowed to not let it happen to him for the second time.

And it didn’t mean like a real game, you know. He was fighting to not fall in love, and he knows that deep inside he has lost his heart and everything else to her.

Hope I didn’t confuse you guys so much. When I wrote the last chapter, it made perfect sense to me, but I guess I should have let someone else read it to see if it even made sense. Sorry.

Thanks for your encouraging comments. Love them all, and I enjoy reading them again, and again. : )

BTW, I think there will only be like 3 or 4 more chapters, but I am not so sure.
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Even after she had pulled away, she had felt him withdraw from her. It couldn’t have all been her imagination. The way he had kissed wasn’t just about lust. There was more to it, and there had to be something he felt for. He had to. Kissing her like that wasn’t just part of her wild imagination. Sure she had been kissed before, but nothing was like this. He had needed her the way she did. Everything matched and everything fit perfectly. He had to love her at least a little, if not as much as she did.

He had murmured something about getting late for work and had walked away. She stood their staring at the door a long time after he was gone. The feel of his lips still lingered in her skin, and she shivered. Wow. It had felt so good to be in his arms, to be able to hold him, kiss him, and love him. It was a pure bliss. Nothing else could compare to that.

She smiled while thinking of him. She used to think that she was the only one who was going through this, but she was so wrong.

Tanner had to confess his feelings for her before they take their relationship to the next level. She couldn’t give herself completely to him without being sure that he felt the same thing. Her heart was already his whether he realized it or not, and the rest all depended on him. It was probably all so soon, and if he needed time, and space, she would give it to him. Maybe love takes time to grow.

*
Today was her job interview. As she walked to the coffee shop, she noticed that it was a little bigger than she had imagined. She had barely walked outside the apartment except to buy groceries, and stuff. The coffee shop was going to be a very different experience. Sure she had worked as a waitress before, but here it was different, the coffee shop had a very homely atmosphere to it.

She was about to knock when the door opened slightly, and a woman in her mid forties stood there with an apron tied around her. Her short hair was tied loosely in a ponytail, and she seemed harmless enough. She greeted Emily with a friendly smile.

"Are you the new waitress?"

"That’s me." She was acting as if Emily had the job already. Emily couldn’t make sense of it, but what did it matter. She only needed a job, and this was perfectly fine with her.

She opened the door wide enough for Emily to enter.

"It’s a good thing you are on time. The shop is going to be open in like 20 minutes."

"So do I get the job?"

The lady looked at her quizzically. "Don’t you want the job?"

"Of course I do!" She blurted. "What I mean is, well, I thought you were going to see if I fit for this job, and then…….." She trailed off, feeling a little silly.

The lady seemed amused, and she laughed softly. "I know you are perfect for this job so no need to worry." She motioned for Emily to follow her around the coffee shop, showing her where everything was. "Before I forget to introduce myself, I am Martha." Emily was about to shook her hand and introduce herself when she stopped her. "Since I am trying to make you feel welcome," Martha grinned. "why not a hug?" She wrapped her arms around Emily, and evolved her in a hug. At first Emily stood their dumbfounded, surprised by her motion, and she felt a motherly love, and hugged her back. "Welcome to Martha’s coffee shop." Martha whispered in her hair.

Martha, her husband, Rick and her son used to run the shop, but since there were many customers coming, they had decided to hire a new help. Martha explained that she had always wanted to have a daughter and she was glad to have Emily working with her. In some ways, Emily wished that Martha was her mom. There was some thing very motherly about Martha which Emily had never had the chance to know. She had never had someone like Martha in her life, and she whished she did. John had been her father, mother, friend, everything she had needed but still a mother’s love is quite different from father’s.

An hour after the shop was opened, Emily was pretty busy working and there was no time to think. Everything was going really fast, and her thoughts of Tanner started drifting away.

Somewhere in between, Martha managed to introduce her son, James to Emily. For some reason, James was very shy around Emily, and he only murmured a single hi. He was just a year younger than her, but he was a very hard worker, and a nice person from what Martha had said.

The coffee shop was a new world to her, and she enjoyed it despite the hard work. They ate their lunch in there, and at 7 P.M. Emily was dismissed.

When she reached the apartment, she was surprised to see the fresh red roses waiting for her at the door. Her heart skipped a bit. Was it really from Tanner? But he could have just given it to her, instead of leaving it outside. Much to her disappointment, she realized that it wasn’t from Tanner.

She wasn’t sure what to do with it, so she placed it in the table. She quickly took a shower, and changed.

As she was preparing dinner, her phone rang. She hurriedly went to answer it hoping that it was from Tanner, but much to her disappointment it was Jared.

"Jared?" She asked, not sure what to say.

"So you like the flowers?"

She turned her gaze to the flowers. "Oh, that was from you."

"Don’t you like it?" He asked.

"Why?"

"What do you mean?"

"Why the red roses?" Emily was getting clearly annoyed.

"I thought you would like them," Jared said, sounding disappointed.

"I do. It’s just that I don’t understand why you are doing this now."

"I am just trying to show you that I am still thinking of you, and I just can’t let you go from my life so easily." He whispered the last part.

Why was he acting so weird? She just couldn’t understand. "What is wrong with you? Don’t you get that I am married? Please, just leave me alone, and stop doing this."

"No," he was sounding so strange, and Emily had never heard him sound so desperate before. "You are not happy. You should be with me, not him."

"Stop acting so weird." Just then she heard the apartment door opening. "Bye." She hung up without giving him a chance to say anything else.

Tanner stood in the door way, looking as handsome as ever. She quickly ran towards the kitchen, and resumed the cooking. She tried to still herself, but there was just so much going on that she could hardly stand it.

She placed the macaroni and cheese at the table for Tanner, and stared at the table as he ate. She was too preoccupied to notice Tanner staring at her, and all her appetite to eat was gone.

"How was your day?" Tanner asked when she wasn’t saying anything.

She turned to look at Tanner. "I got the job."

Tanner seemed surprised. "What job?"

She explained everything to him halfheartedly and he listened carefully while never leaving his eyes off her. He was studying her, and he knew something was disturbing her. He took her hand into him, and stopped her mid sentence. "What’s wrong?"

She frowned. "Jared."

The one name was enough to make Tanner angry. "Did he try doing anything to you? If he did, I am going to-"

"Tanner, stop," she squeezed his hand, trying to calm down his sudden anger. "It wasn’t anything like that."

He relaxed, but not completely. "What is it?"

"He sent me those flowers." She motioned to the flowers in the table. Tanner’s expression was strange, but she knew he was listening. "And just before you came, he called me, and he was acting really weird." That was as honest as she could be with him.

"What exactly did he say?" Tanner wanted to know, and he narrowed his eyes as he studied her.

She explained everything, and Tanner listened quietly without making any comments.

"Can I ask you something?" Tanner hesitated, knowing the answer could hurt him. "Do you still like…. Jared?"

Her eyes widened, and she looked at him as if he was crazy. "What do you think I am?" She was furious. "Why would I confess my feelings for you if I still liked Jared? What is wrong with you?"

"I am sorry," he apologized, and he was secretly glad for her reaction. Some part of him was afraid that she still had feelings for Jared.

She calmed herself. "There was a time when I thought I felt something very deep for Jared, but he ruined it all, and I don’t want to dwell in the past."

"But if Jared had confessed his feelings for you before you met me, you would have stayed with him, right?"

This time she hesitated. "If Angel was still with you before you met me, you would have been with her, and not me, right?"

Tanner was silent. His feelings for Emily were growing so much that he felt like it was more than he had ever felt for Angel. He shuddered. If he had never met Emily, and if Jared had confessed his feelings before, Emily wouldn’t have been his, she would have been with Jared. Somehow, that hurt him more than he cared to admit. Even imagining her with anyone other than him was heartbreaking.

He studied her features. She was so soft, and loving. He couldn’t blame Jared for having feelings for her. How could anyone not love her? He tried to remove those thoughts from his mind, and when he finally succeeded, the images of her kisses clouded his mind. He couldn’t promise himself that it wouldn’t happen again. He knew how easy it was to fall for her, but he promised himself to fight this feeling, and not ever fall in love.

Emily felt jealous because Angel had everything she had ever wanted. How would it feel to be loved by someone like Tanner? She knew that if Tanner ever loved her, she would be the happiest person alive. She had wanted love in her life for as long as she could remember, and she wasn’t sure how long it was going to take.

Maybe love was a long way off, but she could wait.

But would life wait for her? And would fate give a chance to their love?