Flicker of Hope Chapter 11

Tanner’s POV

John had wanted her to live with me, which was the only suitable option since our lifestyles were a bit different. It didn’t really matter to her if she stayed in my place which was a bonus for me. So now we were on the road to my apartment.

After saying our good byes to John, and the others, we had made our way to my silver Mercedes. She was just as nervous and unsure as I was. We were both so similar and yet so different. I was surprised to find that she actually didn’t mind staying with me. This marriage wasn’t like a normal, every day marriage. It was different and special, but I can never understand why she even came along with me when she probably had a wonderful life waiting for her…..

I could still remember the way she looked in that beautiful wedding gown. Her slender figure was shown perfectly in that gown. She was stunning and the gown fully complimented her beauty. Her beauty was rare and unique. She had the type of look that made people just want to stare at her. When I look into her eyes, I feel myself lost in there, and I have to make myself not stare more than needed. As much as I try to keep distance between us, a look from her ruins everything I planned. I had never wanted to be with someone like this for a very long time. She has started to rouse the locked doors of my heart. I have no idea how she is doing this to me in such a short time, but she sure has made me like her more than I have liked anyone ever since Angel.

I have never met someone quite like her. When she is around, she makes everything beautiful. Her flushed face makes her look like this precious rose that you just want to keep it to yourself and never let the world see it. She is not like any other girls I have ever dated or spent time with. She is sincere, sweet, kind, honest, caring, and loving. I can just watch her happily for the rest of my life. There is something so beautiful about her that outshines everything that I have ever come to know.

I haven’t liked anyone for a while, and I thought I would never be able to love or even like someone in that way ever again. I am realizing how much wrong I actually was. She makes me like her, and want her. But she is someone I don’t deserve. If only John had never forced her to marry me….. If only I had never set my eyes on her….. She would have had a life of her own, and she would have been able to choose who she wanted to be with, instead of being forced to marry me. I hated myself for that. John wanted me to marry her, but in a corner of my mind, I had wanted her. I had been selfish and wanted her for myself. How could I even want her when she deserved to be with someone way better than me? But like who?

Jared. The face of that guy came into my mind, and I found myself feeling really defensive. The way he looked at her made me want to punch him, but I didn’t have rights. Emily probably liked him more than she liked me. She probably didn’t even like me! I tried myself to stop hoping that there was even a chance for us, but those thoughts just kept drifting in my mind. Why was I so jealous of her having a crush on Jared? She said she had a crush on him, but I think she still does, and even if she didn’t like him, would she give a chance for us?

No, of course not. There wasn’t going to any us. I wasn’t ready for that. But if I wasn’t ready for that, why do I keep on imagining myself being with her? My mind keeps on playing picture of me kissing her in her weeding gown, and the way she fit into my arms. The kiss I shared with her was something I had never felt before. There was nothing I wanted more than to kiss her, hold her, and love her….. But that was wrong. She wouldn’t want that. But if she didn’t want me, she wouldn’t have responded to my kiss the way she did. But there was something magical when my lips touched her soft ones. It had taken all my self control to pull away from her when we heard the noise in the background.

Even now, I wanted to kiss her the same way I had kissed her that time. She was just so near and I could even feel her presence. Every move she made, and every thing she did, I felt myself captivated just by the mere site of it all. She was wearing jeans, and a normal red T shirt, but even with that, I couldn’t help but notice her slender figure that was outlined by the clothes she wore. Her hair was long and curly, and it made me want to run my fingers through it and feel the softness of it. This woman was sure driving me crazy. Even though I was trying to concentrate on my driving, I was thinking of her, and every now and then, I turn to look at her, and found her looking back and blushing. I would have laugh if the mood inside this car wasn’t this way…..

After about half an hour, she was sleeping. When we reached my apartment I waited for a while for her to wake up but she didn’t. She was probably tired, and she needed to rest. I slowly opened her side of the door, and carried her. Unconsciously, she put her head in my chest with her arms placed lazily around mine. It was very hard for me to carry her from the car to my apartment. Not because she weighted more, but because holding her in my arms gave entry to my stupid fantasy of us. Her body was pressed to mine, and I could feel her breathing in my neck, but could she hear the pounding of my heart?

I carefully placed her in my bed, and it was really hard to remove her hands from my neck. It wasn’t that I actually wanted to remove her hands, but I needed to put some distance between us so that I would be able to think straight. She looked so comfortable in my bed, and I felt like she belonged here with me. I wanted to join her in the bed, but when she woke up, it will probably freak her out. Anyway, I probably wouldn’t be able to sleep well if I slept beside her, I would definitely want to watch her.

I made a second trip to my car and brought all our bag packs back into my apartment. I carefully took a pillow beside her, covered her with the blanket, and made myself comfortable in the couch. I missed having her in my arms, but that would have to wait, which is if she wanted to. And I sure hoped she did.
….-….-…

Emily’s POV

I woke up when I heard something ringing. When I slowly opened my eyes, I jumped from the bed. I tried to remember how I got here, but the images seemed a little blurry. The bedroom that I was in consisted of a table, big wardrobe, and the big, king size bed that I was sleeping in. The wall was painted white, and consisted of different posters. I yawned lazily. I closed my eyes to remember how I got here, and images of last night flashed into my eyes. The image weren’t so clear, but I did remember Tanner carrying me, and placing me in his bed. I looked at my side and noticed that he wasn’t there. I was disappointed. I don’t know what I was expecting, but the sight of not seeing Tanner made me grimace. But why would he want to be in the same bed as me? Who was I kidding? Just face the reality, he is not interested, and probably doesn’t even want you here. Reality sure was sad.

Someone rang the door bell again, and I realized that the bell was the reason that I woke up. I opened the bedroom door and I immediately noticed that the furniture all looked similar in color with the furniture in the bedroom, but only with a different design. I looked for Tanner, and found him sleeping soundly in the couch with his mouth slightly open, and the front 4 bottoms of his shirt were opened revealing a hard, bronze muscle. I blushed at the site and felt myself wanting to go there, and press my lips to his mouth and kiss him good morning. That took a lot of courage and I couldn’t bring myself to do that.

The bell interrupted me from my reverie again. I made my way towards the front door of the apartment, and noticed all the pictures along the way. The pictures were of Tanner with his mom, his friends, etc. It looked as if it was from like a year ago, with his hair a little shorter. I guess I liked his hair now than before, but he still looked gorgeous in his short hair. But then he always looked so beautiful.

I slowly opened the door and there stood a tall, blond girl with stick thin body. Her hair was perfectly straight and she was very beautiful and also the complete opposite of me.

She had a huge smile in her face and she seemed excited about something, but that smile disappeared as soon as she saw me. She eyed me up and down, and gave me one of those evil looks that made me want to flinch at the hate I saw there reflected to me. She just saw me, and she already hated me. Why was that? And most importantly, what was she doing in here?

Without saying a word, she entered the house, while completely ignoring my presence.
"Tanner, baby?" She called in her sickly sweet voice that just made me want to throw up. Did she just call him baby? Who was she?

When she saw Tanner sleeping soundly in the couch, she turned to look at me with a smirk in her face. "Tanner," she whispered in his ears, and he sleepily opened his eyes. When he finally seated himself on the sofa, she made herself comfortable in his lap, and started kissing him all over his face, and finally his lips. When he turned his gaze and met mine, he widened his eyes, and tried to pull away from her, but she wouldn’t let him. Instead she pulled his shirt, and started opening more bottoms. Tanner tried to pull away but instead she kissed him right in the lips. This was way more than I could take. Tears filled my eyes almost immediately, and I ran towards the bedroom, and shut the door behind.

At that moment I realized how stupid I was for ever hoping that the unexpected would happen.