Five New Year's Resolutions You Probably Didn't Think Of

Ahh, the New Year's resolution. It's a tradition that I'm sure has gone back for quite some time, though I have never really cared to study it. I think as long as people have been marking the start of a brand new year, they have made a goal to better themselves in the 365 days to come. Perhaps they want to lose weight, write a novel, get a promotion at work, or have a closer relationship with their significant other, their children, their god(s), or even their friends.

Unfortunately, most people give up on those resolutions within a few weeks. They forget they ever made them. Have you ever met anyone who has lost a lot of weight and credited a New Year's resolution to making it happen? Probably not. Sure, the act of making a resolution is largely symbolic. It's a way to give us hope that we can make our lives better this year than they were last year.

Since many people are disillusioned by resolutions after years of giving up on them by January 15th or sooner, I'd like to offer a few non-generic resolutions that you might try to stick to. Or maybe not.

#5 - Become a World-Class Competitive Eater

This might seem to be the exact opposite of the typical "lose weight" resolution, but if you look at the world's top competitive eaters, many of them are quite thin. That's because their lack of body fat gives their stomach more room to expand. Eating 40-something hot dogs is far more physical than you'd think!

#4 - Brush, Floss, AND Rinse Twice a Day

So, I'm sure most of us brush their teeth once or twice a day. Or, I'd certainly hope we do. I'll be the first to admit, though, that I don't floss nearly enough. My dentists have been telling me that for years, but it takes so much effort and I often forget about it. I end up flossing once or twice a week. I try to rinse with mouthwash more, too, but that's another thing I tend to forget. I get so focused on hurrying up with my dental hygiene chores so I can get to the "more important" things (getting ready for the day or getting ready for sleep) that I simply skim though the process. I think all of our dentists would be happier if we stuck to this resolution!

...Okay, maybe not, because they make a killing off of filling your cavities.

#3 - Scooping the Poop EVERY day!

Whether you have a cat, dog, or other critter, you know that from time to time they have to poop. You also know that if you don't dispose of it in a timely manner that it will make your house or yard smell like poop. Whether you have to use those little poop-scooping baggies when you take your dog out to do his or her business, or you need to scoop the icky-nasties out of the litter box, if you make it a daily habit I think everyone involved will be happier, healthier, and less smelly.

#2 - Watch More Classic Films

Some might say they want to simply "watch more movies", which is fine, but I don't think you'll get much mental stimulation out of Dude, Where's My Car? or any film starring Steven Segal. Instead, pledge to watch more of the classics, or even just films that make you really think. Citizen Kane, Psycho, and even The Wizard of Oz are great titles to start off with. If you want more modern fare, try Hayao Miyazaki's Princess Mononoke (yeah, it's anime, but it's really good!) or, one of my personal favorites, V for Vendetta. You might not like everything that the critics gave two thumbs up to, but at the very least you can feel more cultured. Plus, sitting on the couch and watching movies is SO much easier than exercising more.

#1 - Pick Up a New, Obscure Skill

Lots of people might resolve to take up yoga or learn how to swim. Sure, those are useful and are probably a lot of fun, but if you don't want to follow the crowd there are plenty of other skills and hobbies out there that others haven't resolved to learn yet this year. Curling might be fun to try, though unless you live in the far north or in Canada, you might have trouble finding a local curling club to join. How about learning to play Taiko drums? You know, those huge Japanese drums that people beat with mallets. That could be a great stress reliever. Even something as simple as learning how to hack software and distribute it for free on the Internet is probably something not many people have resolved to do in 2009.

On second thought, perhaps the latter example isn't a good idea. You know, considering it's not exactly legal.

Whatever you decide to do for your New Year's resolution, don't fret if you don't actually accomplish it. We all mess up, and just because it's July doesn't mean you can't make a Mid Year's resolution, which most of us would simply call a "goal". It doesn't hurt to give yourself a goal for the year and work towards it. Even if you don't succeed, you can't say you didn't try!

...Well, unless you really didn't try. In which case, I suppose you can say you didn't try. Oh well! Happy New Year, everybody!