Finished Before the Starting Line

You have all kinds of goals: starting your own business, marketing a great new idea, improving your personal life. You can't stop talking and obsessing about it. You might even write some of it down. The problem is that you always get thwarted in the very beginning and never achieve your goals.

Do you really fear failure or success?

Fear of success, while striking many as strange, is actually more common than you may think. You may be having fear of success if you keep procrastinating to avoid working toward a long-term goal. Success brings major changes in life, and major changes in life can be a scary thought; many psychologists have analyzed and written on this very phenomenon.

Your subconscious has considered the pluses and minuses of moving toward your goals. But have you done so consciously? This is the beginning of it all. Tell yourself, "Imagine if I succeed." Consider it carefully, and take your time go over all the effects, large and small, of attaining your goal.

For instance, look at becoming a business owner. You have achieved a major life goal, but you've also lost the steady paycheck, benefits, and the peace of mind they bring. While you do get to be your own boss, you also become responsible for your employees and their welfare. You get to work with the business of your choice, but will that business swallow up everything else in your life? Compromises might be necessary when trying out new things. Practical, emotional, logistical, and physical changes are the forms that pros and cons take.

You may find, after listing all the possible results, that there are more negatives than positives. You could realize that following this path could have consequences you are not prepared for, or some that you are and can forge ahead. Don't consider it a failure if you have to remove a goal from your life. You may later realize that it was the best thing you ever did. It take guts to decide to stop doing things you've been doing for months or years, even after you've thoroughly examined them. It's also important to realize, however, that continuing towards a seemingly impossible goal, requires a certain amount of boldness.

Meeting your goal will be easier by dealing with the negative voices that keep you from it. By directly dealing with the negative, you are conscientiously making an effort to take full control of the direction you're heading. You must deal with this problem directly to move beyond it. You can deal with each side effect on its own terms, once you realize that you don’t really fear success so much as the side effects that accompany it. Whether you deal with them by solving them, getting rid of them, or going around them, you need to face them to get free of them.

Fear of the side effects of success, if not dealt with, can leave you crippled. It can also impact other areas of your life as well, once you have already experienced how it can stop you from making progress toward your goal. It's a prime example of behavioral conditioning. Staying clear of things that you fear reinforces that behavior and the avoidance stays masked as procrastination. Fears, on the other hand, usually get smaller when you face them. Once you've realized what you're afraid of, those fears seem much less threatening. In fact, they frequently disappear altogether.

Before you start your next major project, like a business venture or diet, make sure you know how it's supposed to end. Envision yourself with the goal achieved successfully. What is different? What have you given up? What removes you from your comfort zone? What are you afraid of? Your ability to achieve success will be greatly aided by the process. When you face both the rewards of reaching your goal and the possible drawbacks of reaching it, you can put that fear of success behind you and get busy fulfilling your dreams.

Cynndie Hoff works for Telos Breakthrough Principles as the director of communications. Telos works hard to help you achieve your maximum potential by offering personal life coaching and personal development training. They also provide updated information on personal development growth with various media posts on their website, such as a weekly podcast.