Fever Dream

Nothing can break me apart anymore my fingers tremble in the blood I feel distinguished from reality as I run it over a cold blade my eyes are black with hate my heart is somewhere in the gutters like a soldier who's sweetheart stopped writing and ran off with another man my thoughts of us holding each other are replaced with me strangling you with my belt I imagine your screams for freedom and forgiveness dripping from your lips urging me to pull tied your veins turn blue in your neck and my eyes cry for god to forgive me I wish I could have meant more to you than another boyfriend who buys you silly gifts I hate you more alive than I hate myself like this.