Fear of Abandonment in Relationships

Are you always gripped with the fear that the people whom you love dearly will abandon you one day? Does insecurity creep into your heart when you see your friend getting close to your boyfriend (or girlfriend)? Well, you may have been struck with fear of abandonment. The good news is that this phobia can be easily overcome with therapy...
When you eventually lose someone you love, to death or that person simple moves on, you feel an acute sense of loss, which is quite natural. You are overcome with emotions and are always faced by fear that you will have to deal with the difficulties of life alone. This can be just for a short span of time, but when you are nagged by constant fear and it starts affecting your life, it could be fear of abandonment. There can be several causes, one of them being the fear of losing your loved one, be it parents, spouse or children.

Autophobia, or fear of abandonment is a common, psychological disorder that affects most people. An individual experiences uncontrolled anxiety and fear when he faces certain situations in life which he has to encounter without any support. There is no age factor as such for onset of this phobia. Any one can be affected by this phobia and might face certain difficulties to come to terms with the physical absence of their loved one.

What Leads to Abandonment Phobia

Recognizing the signs and understanding the method to cope with this insecurity will help the person overcome this issue, This phobia can be triggered in children as well as adults, due to several reasons.
  • One of the most common causes of abandonment in relationships is, if the individual has been left by a loved one, because of death or any other reason.
  • In children, this fear may be induced if the child is locked in a room just for fun or for punishing him.
  • Adults also are inflicted by this fear, if they are facing issues like divorce or failure in dating.
  • The void left by a loved one acts like a constant reminder of the memory of that individual, which can also develop this fear.
  • Unable to cope with peer pressure or to live up to the expectations of parents can also be a causative factor for fear of abandonment.
Abandonment Issues in Relationships

Abandonment issues are an emotional trauma and it is usually difficult to deal with these problems. When you know the cause of any problem, coming to terms with it is easy. But in case of abandonment, the person goes through extreme emotional and psychological pain. Finding it difficult to accept that all the love and time invested in this relationship has gone futile. Abandonment issues can create distances between individuals and dissuade a person from leading a normal and happy life. A deep rooted fear manifests itself in the person and starts affecting the person. Abandonment issues also stem in childhood, when the child is neglected by both the parents and a feeling of being alone creeps in. As the child grows, this issue also increases and the individual suffers from depression and anxiety and tends to lose his individuality and self-esteem. A person suffering from autophobia can undergo counseling and help him to deal with these problems. Once the underlying cause of abandonment issues in a relationship is determined, then, ways to amend it can be sorted out with the help of a friend or a counselor. You must also have a positive attitude towards life and know that these problems are just temporary.

Though facing abandonment is not that easy, overcoming abandonment issues in relationships it isn't equally impossible. We need to understand that it is just a passing phase and after rain the sun will definitely shine. So, face this fear of abandonment in relationships with a brave smile and look at the beautiful life ahead.
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Published: 5/3/2010
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