Family Bed Pros and Cons

Some couples find it convenient to have their children sleep with them on a family bed as they do not have to rush to the other room to make them sleep or to feed them. But many medical experts feel that this practice of having a family bed wherein the family sleeps together is detrimental to the health of the child as well as to the relationship that the couple shares. So, does having a family bed give more opportunities to parents for baby care or is it bad for family relationships? Let's find out...

Pros and Cons of Having a Family Bed

Time to Bond
In many societies, people prefer that their baby sleep with them on a family bed. According to them, it gives the family time to spend together and bond. The parents can cuddle the children and in turn make them feel loved and secure. Having a family bed gives time to working parents who are busy during the day, to connect with their children in the night.

Care for the Baby
For mothers, it is easier to breastfeed the baby or to hold him whenever he cries, if they are sleeping together on a family bed. Thus, opting for a baby bed makes baby feeding convenient for mothers. Although it is not scientifically proved, still some mothers believe that if they sleep close to their infants, they sleep much more soundly.

Intimacy : Loss or Gain?
A lot of times it is seen that couples who opt for a family bed and have their infant or child sleep with them, lose intimacy over time. They are not able to have sex as often as they used to. On the other hand there are couples who feel that inability to have sex in their bed during the night has made them look for other options such as having sex on the couch or the kitchen shelf or under the shower. This has added a lot of spontaneity to their sex life and they feel more sexually satisfied.

Emotionally Unhealthy
Sleeping on a family bed together, may disturb everybody due to lack of space. Besides this, many medical experts feel that sleeping with the parents can prove to be emotionally unhealthy for the child. The kids, from a very young age should be taught how to be independent and when they sleep with their parents, their emotional dependence on parents increases. When such children grow up, it can create separation problems in them i.e. they will not be able to get out of future love relationships even if they are not happy in them. Moreover, sleeping on a family bed cannot last forever. So when the children are in their teens and are told that they can no longer sleep with the parents, they might feel rejected and develop emotional problems.

Physically Unsafe
It's not just emotionally wrong for children to share a family bed with parents, physically it can be very dangerous as there is always a fear with regards to baby safety, especially when the baby is small, because that the parents may roll over him in their sleep. To avoid this, many parents opt for comforters and big pillows, but small children may feel smothered by them too.

If either of the parents likes his or her own privacy and space, and is not keen on having their babies and toddlers sleep on the family bed, then instead of arguing over the issue, it is better that the whole idea of having a family bed is dropped and the couple opt for a separate bed for the infant instead. If a couple is still confused as to what should be done, then they can opt for an open-door arrangement with their kids wherein the children have their own room but can come and sleep with their parents any time they want to. Or the couple can place a baby crib or baby bedding in their bedroom, instead of opting for a family bed.