Ex Boyfriend Relationship - The Good and the Bad

Sometimes you feel in your heart that something might not be a good idea, yet you still try to do it anyway. In the case of staying friends with your boyfriend after breaking up, your heart might feel confident that you can make such an arrangement work. At the same time, your head might be telling you that you're eventually going to get hurt. These conflicting thoughts determine whether or not you should carry on a post-breakup friendship, and as usual in cases involving romance, the heart wins out.

Being friends with your ex after breaking up might immediately seem like a good idea. If you're hurting at the thought of not being able to see or hear from your ex again, this may be one way to ease the pain. By maintaining an ex boyfriend relationship, you get to still talk to him. You get to email him, text-message him, and even see him from time to time. Some girls even believe they can carry the more physical aspects of their relationship into the friendship as well (i.e. "friends with benefits"). Sleeping with your ex boyfriend is the last piece of the puzzle... he now has everything he had before while he was still dating you, minus the responsibility of being faithful and monogamous.

The good part of carrying on a relationship with your exboyfriend is that you delay the pain of the break up. Stretching it out over a long period of time you might even think you're avoiding it. But the bad part? All of the above thoughts are way too optimistic. Because in 99% of all cases, being friends with an ex boyfriend is only going to end in disaster.

First, since neither of you are single, you're free to date other people. If you still love your ex, you might be thinking "no problem... I'm swearing off men for a while anyway". But you know what your exboyfriend is thinking? "Who am I going to date first?" He's newly single, and will start seeing other people pretty quickly. Since you're now his friend, you can't say a thing about it. In fact, you actually have to wish him well. You're his buddy now, and you should be wanting nothing but all happy things for him, right?

Of course, your ex's new girlfriends might not be happy with your little friendship. You'll get anything from snarling, dirty looks to them forbidding your ex to see you anymore. To say this will put a strain on your ex boyfriend relationship is only putting it mildly. You'll feel anger and bitterness and resentment toward him as he doesn't stand up for you, taking his new girlfriend's side. And things are going to get very, very lonely once he starts spending almost all of his time taking his new girl out to places the two of you used to go together.

If this all sounds harsh, it's because it is. Save yourself the pain of trying to be friends with your ex. If you want your boyfriend back? Get him! Don't play around in some pretend role, thinking you can keep things platonic until he miraculously comes to his senses. How long do you think it will take? When will your ex want you back? If you're his friend, you're already giving him virtually everything he had while he was dating you: love, laughter, companionship, maybe even sex. What's his incentive to say "Hey, let's be boyfriend and girlfriend again!" The answer: there is no incentive. He'll happily continue with the way things are, while you get pushed further and further back into a friendship role that you really didn't want in the first place, but were trying to use as a way back into the relationship.

Okay, here's at least one piece of good news: If your ex boyfriend still wants a relationship with you? It means he's not totally over you yet. Just as you may be hanging onto the idea of dating him again, he's still hanging onto the idea of keeping you around - for the exact same reason. Maybe he's not ready to get back into a full-blown relationship with you right away, but he does want to keep you at arm's length. Knowing where you are and what you're doing makes him feel safe and secure... which is why you need to rattle his world by refusing the role of being his friend. Sound crazy? It's not. It's just one of the bigger steps you can take that will help win your boyfriend back.

There are 8 Individual Steps that will Get Back Your Ex Boyfriend, so find out what they are! The quicker you realize that a friendship type of relationship just won't work, the faster you can get started on the true road to reconciliation.