Even Better Than The First: Weddings & Bridal Showers For the Encore Bride

Congratulations once again! More and more couples remarry every year, as men and women find that discovering perfect companionship is sometimes a process of trial and error. As you embark on your second (or more) stroll down the aisle, you're probably wondering a little bit about the bridal traditions and how they apply to your situation. Can you still wear a white gown? Do you still get bridesmaids and a bridal shower? What's the etiquette for inviting friends from your first marriage?

Well, here's some good news: the wedding you're allowed to have is exactly the kind of wedding you want.

Getting Remarried: The Next Big Thing?
Conventional wisdom tells you that fifty percent of all marriages end in divorce. While the number's actually closer to 35% percent, two thirds of all divorces are instigated by women – so you see plenty of women are ready for a second chance at life and finding lasting love.

Over the last two decades or so, divorce has become a way of life in America. The stigma attached to divorced women is rapidly disappearing, if it hasn't already. The upshot is that getting remarried no longer carries the taboo found with previous generations. Women are entitled to get remarried as a fresh chance at happiness. And everyone deserves a second chance.

With divorce remaining common and adults remaining active longer into their fifties and sixties, it's likely that second-time and once-again weddings will continue to grow in popularity and respectability, with multiple marriages becoming almost commonplace.

A White Wedding?
Possibly one of the most important questions second time and once-again brides ask themselves regards the wedding gown. Can women with a previous marriage wear white down the aisle? Should they?

Bridal white has largely become traditional, with the old symbolism of virginity and maiden status no longer applicable to modern sensibilities. And consider this: white is also the color of freshness and pure intentions. Wearing white at your new wedding is a way of showing your best hopes and intentions for the new marriage.

Nevertheless, some brides also prefer not to go through the hassle, and opt to wear a smart suit of clothes or a simple dress. Because second weddings are by definition untraditional, there's no set etiquette regarding what the encore bride should wear. Many brides take the opportunity to exploit that lack of convention, dressing in a way they find most fulfilling or comfortable.

Reincarnating Old Guests
A new marriage is the start of a new life. But what about the friends and family of the life you led before? Can they be "reincarnated" into your new life and marriage?

The etiquette for inviting guests from your first marriage largely depends on the dynamics of the relationships as they currently exist. If you keep in touch with people from your first marriage on a regular basis, then it's perfectly acceptable to invite them to see you remarry. If you've fallen out of touch, however, the invitation could be seen as ostentatious or even mean.

Building Your Own "Brady Bunch"
If you're both bringing children into the new marriage, the trick to successfully combining the families together is to start early. Involving both sets of kids in the bridal party (for example, as the flower girl and ring bearer) can let them feel both a sense of teamwork and a true part of the celebration. You might even have your children stand with you as special "best boys and girls" during the ceremony and at the reception.

Throwing An Encore Bridal Shower
At first glance, this might seem somewhat selfish, but there's no real reason not to throw a celebration in your honor. You've probably got all the gifts from the earlier marriage events, so you might not need any of the traditional bridal shower presents. Or, you may want to celebrate anew with a special themed celebration that shows your sense of humor or happy perspective about your new lease on life.

You can invite friends from the first marriage too, as long as (like the wedding itself) they're men and women you regularly keep in touch with anyway.

The Bridesmaids, Reception, and Giving Away the Bride
As mentioned above, established women don't need the housekeeping gifts common to most traditional bridal registries, so the gifts can be anything they like or something else entirely, such as a donation to charity instead of a gift, or possibly a gift that fits the wedding's theme.

The bridesmaids can be friends from before, during, and after the first marriage, with ideally members from each phase of the bride's life represented.

Finally, there are no guidelines for who should give the bride away. It's the bride's choice, and can include everyone from her father to her son.

Michael Kabel is editor at http://www.myweddingfavors.com, where you'll find lots of advice and help on planning bridal showers, wedding and wedding receptions, as well as wedding and party favors, accessories and gifts.