Eternally (1) - Rewrite

Okay guys. I definitely agree with those of you who think that chapter 1 was too much like Twilight. I used too much ideas from them and i totally (mentally) kicked myself for it. So here is the new and improved Chapter 1. Please read it and comment. Love you guys x
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Okay, you wanna know about me? Okay, I’ll tell you ALL about me.

My name’s Maxine Crimson Renoon, I’m twenty-one, my mum died when I was 6, my dad has a new wife and two sons and lives in America, I’ve only ever been in one serious relationship, I live in a gorgeous flat in England and, oh yeah…I’m a vampire.

Oooh, big shock and horror! Whateva, like I give a shit what you think. I suppose you wanna know how I’m a vampire, I mean, I wasn’t born one and my parents were 100% human. Okay, I’ll tell you.

When I was 18, I had a boyfriend called Callum. He was the same age as me, the perfect Adonis, had his own flat and he told me he loved me. We had been going out for a year and one day I fell asleep on my couch, head on his chest.
I woke up screaming, it felt I was being stabbed in the neck, repeatedly, except it stopped after about 5 seconds. I got up to check in the mirror and there was noting there, only a slight glistening and damp patch, which I mistook for sweat. (I later figured out it was Callum’s saliva)
Callum was also gone, I checked the whole flat, no-one, so I went back to sleep.

The next morning (Sunday), when I woke up, I noticed that freakily, my hair was longer and glossier, it looked absolutely perfect. Before I would occasionally get dandruff, but I noticed my hair was dandruff-free. It was freaky but I didn’t really care.

The Monday morning, I found myself not stumbling as I groggily got up, I didn’t trip over anything as I went to open the curtains, and as I turned on the shower I didn’t drop the head and spray my PJs. These were all significant things I noticed as I ate my breakfast. As well as that, my skin was looking suspiciously clear and smooth; I put it down to the new moisturizer I had been using. It was also very soft.

The Tuesday morning, I found myself in the bathroom in a second. I couldn’t actually remember my feet touching the floor, or stepping forward. I just shrugged it off as still being slightly drunk from Monday. But as I was walking past a table in the café down the road a little girl knocked her mug of milk over the edge of the table. My arm snaked out and I was setting the mug down on their table in a second. The little girl stared at me with her mouth open but I was already outside, bewildered myself. I was definitely not drunk.

The Wednesday morning, I woke up and it was like I could see everything better. Imagine having a normal TV for 18 years and then buying a HD one. Time the difference of the picture by a thousand and you’re still far it. It was amazing, and the funny thing was, I used to wear contacts. I was always short-sighted. By then, I was really worried, I considered telling someone, but then realized I didn’t want to end up in a loony asylum.

The Thursday morning, I woke up, incredibly thirsty. I drank six cups of water, two cups of 7up and one of Oj, but it worked only a little bit. The rest of the day I was drinking all the time, different things to get rid of the thirst, but it didn’t work!

The Friday morning, I could smell and hear everything. I could hear the water dripping from the shower; I could smell the soap I used yesterday. I could hear an airplane cruising through the sky; I could hear the coffee from the café down the road. I was seriously worried if I was cracking up or something.

The Saturday morning, I woke up and something felt strange. I lay in bed for half-an-hour trying to figure it out, when all of a sudden I had it. But it was so unlikely that I just laughed and sat up, ready to test it out. I raised my hand to my chest, where my heart would be, and placed it there softly. Nothing. I furrowed my brow and tried again. Still nothing. I kept my hand on heart for ten minutes, but no matter how much I willed it to beat, it stayed as still as a dead animal. I started to sob, and realized that no tears were coming; I punched the wall in frustration, a chunk of plaster crumbled away. No pain came. I sobbed harder. I went to check in the mirror; surely if I was dead I wouldn’t have a reflection? But I did and I noticed something that really sent me crazy. My eyes were red. Ruby-red, blood-red, bright-fucking-red!

I had to tell someone, so I rang Callum and he told me what he had turned me into. I wanted blood, preferably his. I kicked the shit outta the walls and the doors, by the time I was finished, the flat was unrecognizable.
It takes a week for a vampire’s venom to spread to the whole body, Callum had said. The thirst you’re feeling is for human blood, the asshole had said. I had to do it, you’re really important to me, the stupid dickhead had said.

I’m not gonna lie and tell you that I was fine with being around humans as soon as. I’ve read the Twilight books, and yes I thought they were awesome, and yes I also fell in love with Edward, but that didn’t happen to ME.

I couldn’t step one foot outside Callum’s flat without going into a mad frenzy for some poor fool’s blood. I even managed to lure one into Callum’s flat and suck him dry, it wasn’t hard. I was undeniably beautiful.

Callum brought me animal blood and stuff but the smell wasn’t nearly as mouth-watering as human blood. It took me a year to be able to ignore human blood and just be a ‘vegetarian’. And when I could I dumped Callum and bought my own flat on a road called Queen Gardens. I suppose you thought that I’d stay with Callum and we’d be brilliant mates and be together for all Eternity. Sorry, none of that shit actually happened. I dumped the asshole; I couldn’t stand to be around him. He had changed me without my permission, basically ruined my life, the bastard. I was going to be a journalist, get married to a hunk and have kids!

Vampires can’t have kids! Sure I could still be a Journalist but it didn’t interest me as much as before. I wanted something more exciting. I mean, I had the strength of a thousand heavy-weight champions. I could run faster than the speed of light, I had a better sense of smell than a lion. Nothing seemed to be enough for me.

But also I have a gift, it happened when I got knocked over by someone stupid jackass in a Ford. Aside from killing my mother, it had an effect on my brain. From the age of 6, I could close my eyes, imagine a place I wanted to be, and go there. I could imagine an island, with a gorgeous little hut or tree house or something and go there. I could feel the sand beneath my toes, the wind whipping my hair into my face, the salty taste on my tongue and the sound of the sea in my ears. Of course when I told my dad and anyone who would listen, they put it down to a powerful 6 year old imagination. They didn't really notice that my face would go blank, the light gone out of my eyes, my whole body still. Sometime I would even disappear if I tried hard enough. It was awesome.

All that crap about fangs and being nocturnal, it ain't true. Not one word, so if you wanted all that old school shit, you better close this page, 'cause there ain't any here. I can go out in the sun. My skin is warm and its incredibly soft yet can’t bruise. We don’t have powers but a handful here and there have been known to have special gifts. All vampires have a ‘third eye’; we imagine something and it will appear in front of us, if too big usually near by.

I have friends, human and vampire. My best friend is a vampire called Jem, I found her lying in an alleyway when I was 20, and she was half-way through a transformation. Me being the kind soul that I am, I brought her back to my flat and took care of her. Now she lives a few flats down on Queen Gardens.
Do you wanna know who did it to her? Some bloody stranger. How evil is that?
Anyway, we look like twins, only I’m taller and my eyes are a sort of lilac/blue, hers are usually silver (her favorite color).

I also have two werewolf friends. Daniel and Dave, they’re twins. They’re awesome; they usually spend time round at my house. Jem has a crush on Daniel and she is always over here when he is.

I work in a night-club called Dreamz, it’s alright. I like it because I get free alcohol and free entry when I’m not working. Not that I need to pay anyway, with my entrancing skills. I also keep an eye out for people who like to bring in drugs and spike other peoples’ drinks. It’s easy with my sense of smell.

I can switch my emotions off whenever I need to. Of course it's been three years since I’ve had any kind of relationship with a guy, so I have to yet to feel love for anyone. But as Jem keeps on telling me, it's only a matter of time.

Jeez, I’ve been rambling on about my crap past for paragraphs! Back to the present.
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