Endless Awaiting

All along the way,
It’s been a tough time.
And I haven't even reached closer,
Towards this elusive goal of mine.

Will I be able to see the light?
That has been evading me
Since a long time,
Yes, a really long time...

I deserve to receive
Happiness and peace,
Though this ageless combat
May never cease.

Will I ever fulfill
My aspirations & dreams?
Or continue to struggle for...
For survival and release.

Why does honesty suffer,
In this world absurd?
Why do the idealists endure,
Who are the guiding light to the wayward?

I have paid the price
And reaped what I never did sow.
All this has to stop now
Somewhere, somehow…

Isn't there a bearing threshold?
To put up with the agony and the pain.
To confront insensitivity,
Or will this always remain?

Life...

If it means being hopeful,
I have lost hope.
If it means patience,
I am impatient.
If this means letting go,
I will never forgive.

If it means times are tough,
I want everything just right.
If it means going by morals,
I am tired of righteousness.

If it means God is testing me,
I don’t believe in God.
If it means believing in yourself,
I don’t want to trust myself.

Is life a series of good and bad events?
Or just distinct & scarce patches of hope?
For me, it is always a tattered beginning
And perhaps - a withered ending!?!