Encourage Independence in Your Children

Encouraging independence in your child is important for their self-esteem and promotes their ability to meet new challenges with optimism. Learning a parenting style that uses encouragement and respect can really support your child’s independence and competence.

When your child starts to sit up and be interested in age appropriate toys, encourage independence by letting your child play without any interaction from you for short periods. Babies do not need your constant attention, in fact it can be overwhelming to a baby. Start by giving your baby an interesting toy in surroundings that have eye appeal. Let them entertain themselves while sitting near you. Extend this time as your baby becomes more mobile and can tolerate it. By the time she is a toddler, she will be able to happily play alone for 15 to 30 minutes at a time.

Start early when you young toddler starts exploring her world. Instead of relying on the word "no", find ways to say yes. Take some time to evaluate your home at the eye level and physical reach of your child and eliminate valuable or dangerous items. Be reasonable, no home should have to be so child safe that the adults are not comfortable. It is okay for your toddler to have some off limit areas, boundaries are positive things. The intent her is to encourage exploration in a safe way to foster your young child’s sense of independence.

Your pre-schooler needs encouragement to play alone when you are on the phone, cooking dinner or otherwise engaged. You do not need to be available to play with your children 24/7. When a child can play on her own, they become more creative and independent, two very important skills. Too many parents think they are neglecting their children if they are not available to play at anytime. To begin, you might introduce some quality educational toys and get the child started, then let them know they can do it by themselves and then go do something else.

This is also an age where children want to help by pouring their milk, doing dishes, carrying food to the table, etc. Instead of thinking your 5 year olds too young for these jobs, let them help. Remember, if there is a spill it is an opportunity to teach your child how you clean up a mess. It is discouraging to be told you are too small or too young to do something when you feel you want to try. Avoid the urge to do it yourself because it takes longer for your child to do the task, you will be missing an opportunity for training.

As your child gets older, continue to look for ways to encourage independence. Expose your child to different situations early so he can learn to rely on himself to handle things. One thing to take into consideration is your child’s temperament. Some children are more outgoing than others, so be careful not to push too hard if your child is shy. But, continue to present situations and activities that are just at the edge of their comfort level to encourage them to expand their experience. To help you put these ideas into effect, consider taking an online parenting class to support your efforts.