Emotional Cheating With an Ex

"Julius and Amanda were college sweethearts. They met on the first day of college, and it was like love at first sight. They dated all through college, and had an almost perfect relationship. They even got jobs at the same law firm. But then, a month into work, they started having problems. Differences cropped up and arguments were a regular affair. They figured, the only way to maintain their sanity and fondness for each other, would be to end the relationship. So, they broke up, but maintained friendship. They knew each other very well and were best friends. Then, Amanda met another guy at her office, Chad. Chad and Amanda hit it off. They soon started dating and Chad was in love. So was Amanda. She was still friends with Julius and talked about everything to him. Chad didn't approve of it. He said she was emotionally cheating on him. Or was she?"

Emotional cheating with an ex is a concept that can be very confusing. So, before we get into understanding about emotional cheating with an ex, I suggest that you read about emotional affair signs and emotional cheating in a relationship.

Emotional cheating with an ex is tad bit more complex than regular cheating. Let us understand what exactly constitutes "emotional cheating with an ex", and what are the emotional cheating signs in this case. More on signs of cheating in a relationship.

Secrecy
There is no secrecy in the fact that you know each other. So, if there is no emotional cheating with an ex, there will be no need to keep the friendship a secret from your present partner. In case of emotional cheating, this friendship will be a secret that is guarded furiously.

Sex-less
When emotionally cheating with an ex, one will not be enthusiastic about sexual intimacy with their partner. They will stay detached and claim celibacy, of sorts. More so, the regular physical contact that is, otherwise, normal in a relationship, will also be avoided as much as possible.

Mentioning
Often when someone is emotionally cheating on their current partner with an ex, they will inadvertently mention their ex. Be it with reference to cooking or shopping. It is mostly seen that the mentioning is done in a complaining yet endearing manner.

You Just Don't Get it
It has been seen that when one is emotionally cheating with an ex, one will have fights with his/her partner about "understanding". They will claim that their partner fails to understand them like their ex did. This leads to a lot of fights that center around "you know what, you just won't understand". My my, if only I had a penny for the number of couples I have seen do this!

Telephony
When emotionally cheating, a person tends to use his/her cell phone extensively to call or text the one he/she is cheating with. As such, in order to keep it a secret, he/ she will keep the text message inbox and the call logs deleted. More so, the phone bill will be "dealt with" before you can even lay your eyes on it.

You can read more on

• Emotional Promiscuity and Relationships
• Relationship Advice
• Relationship Issues

The trick with emotional cheating with an ex is that it never starts off intentionally. People tend to run out of the relationship patience that they used to have and expect their partners to pick up where their ex left off. As such there is sort of an understanding void, that obviously gets filled by the ex. If you find yourself on wither sides of this situation, try to understand it. Spend more emotional energy on your partner and discuss your issues with him/her. Talk things out openly. Even if you do visit your ex, as a friend, be open about it to your partner. Let your ex and current know each other. This will really help your relationship grow, and the bond gets stronger. First loves and friends are hard to give up. So, it's best if you learn to understand these relationships and the limits that come with them. This is where I sign off! All the best!