Emotional Abuse in Relationships

A relationship means a union, where two people can relate to each other. The act of relating forms the very basis of a healthy relationship. But what happens when the essence of relationship is lost? When its foundation is reeling under the pressure of emotional abuse? Sadly, emotional abuse is still a true story in the modern developed world. Mental and emotional abuse in relationships can manifest in various forms. Isolating the partner, making unreasonable demands or being unresponsive are some of the forms in which emotional abuse shows up in relationships. Let's see what is role of the abuser and the victim in an emotionally abused relationship.

The Abuser

The emotional abuser in a relationship assumes the position of a bully. This role, stems from an insecurity, desperate need to get attention and an inferiority complex. The abuser does not understand that, respect has to be commanded and not demanded. In order to get respect, the abuser troubles the other person to an extent where all the respect is lost. At this juncture, the abuser begins to harass the other person for not respecting. Ironic, but true! This is how the mind of the abuser in an emotionally abused relationship, works. The bottom line is, emotional abuse breeds from fear.

The Victim

The victim in the relationship, out of love, need or fear puts up with whatever emotional abuse comes his/her way. The victim constantly believes that someday things will be normal in the relationship, but fails to take up the responsibility to ameliorate the things in the relationship. The victim generally ends up believing that he/she is doing a good job by hiding the feelings in front of kids, family and friends. Conversely, by doing so, the victim is just adding fuel to the fire. Emotional abuse is very difficult to take notice of.

Signs of Emotional Abuse

Here are some signs of verbal and emotional abuse that go unnoticed until it has made indelible damages.

• Ignoring your feelings
• Disrespecting you
• Ridiculing and insulting you in public
• Withholding appreciation or affection
• Criticize and label you with names and abuses
• Be uncooperative about socializing with your family and friends
• Make sure that you don't get what you want
• Go on hurting you when you are especially low
• Threaten you over and over again
• Leave you stranded somewhere
• Make unreasonable demands and emotionally blackmail you
• Use your words against you
• Threaten to hurt your family
• Manipulate you with lies
• Question your every move of the day
• Put down several unrealistic restrictions on you

These are the emotional abuse signs that crop up when you are with an emotional abuser. They may come up subtly in the beginning. But, as time progresses, if it keeps reoccurring, your doubts about emotional abuse will be confirmed.

How to Stop Emotional Abuse

The first step towards stopping emotional abuse is to spot it. Accept the fact that you are being abused and that you are the victim. Confront your partner about his/her behavior. Talking things out is the best way of problem solving. Do not make things up with your partner by saying that the fault lies in you. This way you'll accept defeat and worsen things. Set boundaries within which your partner will have to behave. Let him/her know that you will not be abused and respect is essential to keep the relationship going. Talk to your friends about it, as many times your friends understand you better than you yourself. This will also help you build your self-esteem as you vent out your anger. If the situation gets out of control, realize that there's no point in towing a punctured car and dragging it. Sometimes they are best left to their own whims.

Don't let emotional abuse in any form or in any relationship ruin your life. You have one life to live, one life to make the most of and one life to love. Before you decide that you love someone else, it's important to love yourself. Love for oneself teaches you to be responsible for your life and respect your life. There is nothing more important in this world to you, than you yourself. At the end of the day, you are the center of your universe. So, throw out the impediments that are revolving in your orbit for a smooth journey of life. Good Luck!