Emailing Frankie
Emails between opposites - let me know what you think!
Hiya Frankie,
Just a quick message to ask why the hell you don't email me anymore?!! I could really do with some witty banter today, but ohhhh noo, Mr. I’m too busy to check my inbox and reply to my favorite girl is way to good for me now. I am now bordering on the cusp of being a "stalker via email", you know I hate being ignored.
Thanks a lot Frankie, I would just like you to know that I for one will not be ignored by a man who spends his days looking at porn and his nights sleeping with women who live off a diet of sex and salad! Your such a pig. You know these women won’t make you happy, they have no substance and more importantly no personality. I’m sick of telling you this though!
Well that’s it, I’m not putting up with this boorish behavior anymore!
You better email me back and cheer up my day else you may wake up with a horse head in your bed!!! And that's not sarcasm! And PLEASE, I don’t want to hear about your latest conquest, just tell me a joke or something.
Yours
Sarah "The Psycho"
Well someone loves me this week; you not got enough work or something?
For your information I’ve been incredibly busy at work….. alright a new receptionist who could probably crush a can between her firm, pert buttocks. She’s finally agreed to go out for a drink with me but has insisted she’s not easy. Yeah right. There all the same, the sex is awesome but the conversation does nothing for me. I crack a joke and they just sit their, gormless. I’m actually jealous of you sometimes. Actually scrub that, just having a weird day.
In answer to all your abuse, I’d like to remind you that your last sexual encounter involved a gentleman who liked to be called "Jesus king of Nazareth" and then said the lords prayer whilst Cumming. Do you ever get worried that you may be the most boring woman on the planet when it comes to sex? You really need one night where you let pure unbridled lust take you to places your dull head cannot even imagine. I would offer but this new receptionist is a tough one to crack and I honestly can’t wait to crack it!
I’ll update you tomorrow; I know how you like to live your sexual fantasies precariously through me.
Send me more "psycho" emails, you weird sarcastic freak. I quite enjoy them. You’re very sexy when trying to be scary and funny at the same time.
X
How dare you!
I have a rich and varied sex life thank you very much. Just because I don’t sleep with everyone who slightly stimulates me! I’m not like you, I like the person not just the sex! Please don’t bring up Jesus again; I never want to remember that! I’ve buried it the section of my brain marked "things I’d like to forget" and I would rather not open that box.
You are one sick mother, where was my joke?! I only wanted a simple freaking joke, why do you have to brag about your sex life all the time. Did I detect a hint of you feeling unfulfilled by these sticks with no personality you choose to sleep with? I think I may be winning you over to the dark side – could you actually be considering a relationship with a woman you don’t just want to sleep with? WOW, we’ve really turned a corner. I’m almost proud of you, you chauvinistic bastard.
I certainly do not live my sexual fantasies through you! I have my own, but like most other ordinary people I keep them to my self and don’t broadcast them to others.
Screw you, I’m the normal one and you’re the freak.
I am perhaps a little sex deprived, but not so desperate that I would even consider losing my dignity and moral sense of decency.
I’ve got to work now, God knows why I still email you.
Send me a joke this time, I mean it! No more about sex. You pitiful excuse for a man.
Your only sane friend (- :
Just a quick message to ask why the hell you don't email me anymore?!! I could really do with some witty banter today, but ohhhh noo, Mr. I’m too busy to check my inbox and reply to my favorite girl is way to good for me now. I am now bordering on the cusp of being a "stalker via email", you know I hate being ignored.
Thanks a lot Frankie, I would just like you to know that I for one will not be ignored by a man who spends his days looking at porn and his nights sleeping with women who live off a diet of sex and salad! Your such a pig. You know these women won’t make you happy, they have no substance and more importantly no personality. I’m sick of telling you this though!
Well that’s it, I’m not putting up with this boorish behavior anymore!
You better email me back and cheer up my day else you may wake up with a horse head in your bed!!! And that's not sarcasm! And PLEASE, I don’t want to hear about your latest conquest, just tell me a joke or something.
Yours
Sarah "The Psycho"
Well someone loves me this week; you not got enough work or something?
For your information I’ve been incredibly busy at work….. alright a new receptionist who could probably crush a can between her firm, pert buttocks. She’s finally agreed to go out for a drink with me but has insisted she’s not easy. Yeah right. There all the same, the sex is awesome but the conversation does nothing for me. I crack a joke and they just sit their, gormless. I’m actually jealous of you sometimes. Actually scrub that, just having a weird day.
In answer to all your abuse, I’d like to remind you that your last sexual encounter involved a gentleman who liked to be called "Jesus king of Nazareth" and then said the lords prayer whilst Cumming. Do you ever get worried that you may be the most boring woman on the planet when it comes to sex? You really need one night where you let pure unbridled lust take you to places your dull head cannot even imagine. I would offer but this new receptionist is a tough one to crack and I honestly can’t wait to crack it!
I’ll update you tomorrow; I know how you like to live your sexual fantasies precariously through me.
Send me more "psycho" emails, you weird sarcastic freak. I quite enjoy them. You’re very sexy when trying to be scary and funny at the same time.
X
How dare you!
I have a rich and varied sex life thank you very much. Just because I don’t sleep with everyone who slightly stimulates me! I’m not like you, I like the person not just the sex! Please don’t bring up Jesus again; I never want to remember that! I’ve buried it the section of my brain marked "things I’d like to forget" and I would rather not open that box.
You are one sick mother, where was my joke?! I only wanted a simple freaking joke, why do you have to brag about your sex life all the time. Did I detect a hint of you feeling unfulfilled by these sticks with no personality you choose to sleep with? I think I may be winning you over to the dark side – could you actually be considering a relationship with a woman you don’t just want to sleep with? WOW, we’ve really turned a corner. I’m almost proud of you, you chauvinistic bastard.
I certainly do not live my sexual fantasies through you! I have my own, but like most other ordinary people I keep them to my self and don’t broadcast them to others.
Screw you, I’m the normal one and you’re the freak.
I am perhaps a little sex deprived, but not so desperate that I would even consider losing my dignity and moral sense of decency.
I’ve got to work now, God knows why I still email you.
Send me a joke this time, I mean it! No more about sex. You pitiful excuse for a man.
Your only sane friend (- :
Use the feedback form below to submit your comments.
Use the form below to email this article to your friends.
