Effects of Divorce on Children

One of the most difficult transitional periods in a child’s life is to go through the experience of their parents divorcing each other. While the effects of divorce may be different on children according to their stage of development, age, and gender, research has shown that despite reconciliation efforts via family counseling, most children suffer during and after the process. When their parents divorce, children feel as if their stability, their security, and their world are all falling apart.

The Effects of Divorce on Children’s Feelings

Children can react in various ways with an impending divorce. Some children can become very sad, showing symptoms of depression and even be unable to sleep. Their levels of anxiety become very high as they experience feelings of being rejected or abandoned by one parent and sometimes even both. Some situations of divorce can even end up making children feel extremely lonely, which is usually because one parent may be absent for a long time.

Regardless of what the situation may be, a divorce usually affects children in some way or the other. While some children may be scarred psychologically on a long-term basis, others may feel the emotional pangs for a short period of time, and then learn to cope with it, and perhaps even get over it. Of course, a lot depends on how well the situation is handled by the parents.

Some of the main effects of divorce on children’s feelings are:

• Children feel that they are not loved anymore by their parents and experience feelings of desertion and desolation.
• Once they understand that they cannot get their parents back together, they experience feelings of helplessness and powerlessness.
• Even though they may not display signs of anger, many of them do feel angry.
• Often, they feel that it is their fault, believing that it is because of something they said or did that has resulted in a parent leaving.
• Divorce is not only a loss in the parents’ lives, but also in the children’s. Hence, they experience feelings of grief, which is akin to the mourning of death.
• They also feel guilty about the loyalty conflicts they experience.

The Behavioral Aspects of the Effects of Divorce on Children

Children can display a wide range of behavioral changes due to experiencing the traumatic effects of divorce, from difficulty in sleeping to highly harmful behavior like violence, drug abuse, and sometimes even suicide

Some of the other behaviors can include regressive behavioral patterns like using comfort items, displaying fears, and bed-wetting, as well as repetitive physical behaviors, nervous habits, and problems in school.

They can become whiny and clingy and require greater attention and understanding of their behavior and moods. This is the period when they require greater emotional nurturance.

Many children feel that they must take care of their divorced parent. One of the widespread behavioral characteristics displayed by children of divorced parents is to take on the care of emotionally disturbed parents.

There is often a common misconception about the natural resilience of children and their ability to cope with a divorce without it having much impact on their lives. As a matter of fact, most children require supportive people as well as support systems to help them cope and come to terms with the changes that are brought about, especially during the transitional period.