Effect of Courtship in Marriage

Courtship is the period which an unmarried couple becomes personally and intimately acquainted with each other. It is during this period that the final decisions are made for or against the marriage. It is an interesting period because if the special friendship continues into marriage, the habits, customs and attitudes established during this period will set the pace for the type of relationship of later life. During the period of courtship, lovers should be able to decide on the advisability of their taking the solemn vows of marriage.

Prior to courtship, a young man and a young woman have attracted themselves, largely on the basis of casual observations and exterior appearances. Some might have admired each other secretly for a longer or shorter period, this admiration being based on chance meetings and casual conservations rather than on proper knowledge of each other’s personalities.

It is not uncommon for young couples to begin their courtship even before they are actually engaged to be married. In fact, it is desirable that their friendship should continue on the basis of a general understanding for a period of time before the young man actually proposes. The practice of young men marrying girls they rarely know well except for recommendations of relations is dangerous and should be discouraged. The early part of courtship is a period in which there should be an experiencing and demonstration of common interests.

The time spent together should be spent on formal and informal social occasions. It is advisable for the girl to see her fiance in working clothes and for the young man to become accustomed to his fiance in a kitchen apron. Reasonable emphasis should be placed on the practical everyday life. A courtship which is carried out while the young people live very far apart and see each other once in a blue moon is naturally artificial and risky. Practical setting for courtship is not possible in this circumstance. But where courtship is unavoidably artificial, the period of courtship should be prolonged more than those cases where it is possible for the lovers to develop their friendship in an everyday setting.

Every normal, serious-minded young boy or girl should be sure in advance that his choice of a life partner is a wise one and that he has exercised reasonable precautions in avoiding such a friendship that might endanger his happiness. As friendship develops, certain traits of character and factors of personality are likely to become apparent. Doubts may arise as to whether the friendship is an ideal one and the young person should at this time try to re-evaluate the friendship as impartially as possible.

Although, it is unwise to terminate a friendship brashly, because some human traits have manifested, every human being possesses certain fault of personality. The question we need to ask ourselves however is if the unsuspected trait or fault of personality is of sufficient magnitude to interfere with the progress of the special friendship. Sometimes anyway, a young person may be so alarmed by observing faults in the personality of a special friend that the friendship has been terminated. Many people in this vain search for the perfect husband or the perfect wife, allowed the opportunities for a desirable marriage to finally pass.

As courtship progresses, there should be no deep, dark secrets of things which in any way that may threaten the esteem of your partner. Absolute trust and fidelity should be maintained. Courtship however, is not a trial marriage but it is final step toward marriage and therefore constitutes the most important preparation for marriage.