Drowned

I glanced at the road again. How did I come here? I thought with tears muffling my view. I shouldn't have let Mark go... I decided firmly but still the pain inflicted my whole body. Where did I go wrong? I thought as more tears gushed out of my eyes. Suddenly a smile flashed in front of my eyes, a beautiful smile on a handsome face. I was crying louder now. I wished some car would just hit me and kill me and put me off from this whole pain.

"UGH!!" I yelled and kicked a stone so hard that I cracked my toenail but I felt no pain, no blood came out, the rock stayed where it was.

What was going on? I thought as sky was just getting gloomier and cloudier. The last thing I remember was that I was begging Mark to stop but he wanted to leave... leave me... forever. He said that we were not meant to be and then he told me a thing that shattered my heart in to billions of pieces.

I looked around and the land just got more barren... I was wrapped in the agony of broken heart. Mark and I have been together for eight years but why would he leave when he loved me more than himself. I created this world of ours, so pretty so full of love. Maybe he did not; maybe it was all my imagination. He said it several times but he never showed it. He never looked me with the love, a husband has in eyes for his bride. First drop of rain slipped down my cheek, merging with my tears at the end. I remembered how I followed Mark to the train station but he didn't bother looking back. I got a flashback of me asking Mark to stop when he was heading towards his train.

"Mark!" I yelled out from behind him but he ignored me.

"Please wait! I know am not pretty but I love you... please don't leave me now, not today not tomorrow not ever! Please wait! I swear I will die without you!" I cried and wiping my tears with my sleeve simultaneously. Wasn't he my part? Why didn't he feel any pain? I thought as I remembered he promised to cherish me forever.

"DIE! Just leave me! I told you I am not interested in you anymore! Alex is waiting! I do not want to get late!" Mark said as he pushed me away.

I came back to the barren land, to present. Alex? But I thought she was just a younger sister. Another tear spilled as I thought how Mark was always eager to spent time with my family and Alex who was a year younger than me. This was thing I forgot which broke my heart to billions of pieces. He was cheating on me with my sister. How can I forget this? I thought regretfully and then instantly breaking into tears. I looked around and saw water was flooding the barren land. Will I drown I thought but dying seemed so peaceful. Another flashback took me to where I left last time.

"You... Alex?" I choked in extreme shock.

"YEA! And for your information she is better in bed!" Mark said and I just stood there in shock.

"...But I loved you..." I cried silently, in a whisper.

"I never loved you back!" Mark said and then he was on his train and the conductor just closed the door. I just stood there, crying so silently, closing my eyes thinking of amazing moments with Mark. I reopened my eyes and I was back to reality, half-submerged in water. How did I get here I thought as my tear dripped in to the water. I looked at my hand and my wedding ring was still there. It fit me so perfectly. I thought as another tear scurried down and died on my lips. I closed my eyes and opened them but not in half-submerged water but at the station. I looked at my feet but then I saw a huge belly. I am pregnant... I thought as I felt a ray of hope for the first time but suddenly I was running, running behind the train shouting for it to stop. It did not but something did, it was me. I got tripped by something I could not see but all I remembered was me falling hard on the ground and pain grabbing my body and everything blacking out.

I opened my eyes and water had reached till my neck. A last tear slipped down my eye and it was just not any tear it was a drop of blood. I died with that fall and so did my baby. I looked at the sky and now I was just trapped in the world I created for myself and for Mark and now I am drowning in it with my own grief, pain and infinite sorrow.