Drops of Blood upon the floor

Sitting in the dark
Only one thing I want to do
The knife is in my drawer
Next to the picture of you

I take out the knife
Having little doubt
Then close my eyes
And start to zone out

I remember all the times
We stayed up talking late into the night
When it would get to deep I’d get scared
And that’s when you held me tight

I know that you love me
No matter what I do
But baby, I’m scared
That I’m not good enough for you

The thoughts rush to me
All the past pains
A thousand nights spend crying
I can still see the blood stains

I never cared about anyone
The way I do for you
No one ever meant so much
I fear I will screw up soon

Maybe if I don’t get to close
I can make myself believe
I won’t get too attached
Just in case you feel the need to leave

You call
And I know you will be there till the end
Now I have screwed up
My reality starts to bend

So I hold the blade tight
Against my skin once more
Let out one gasp
And watch the blood fall upon the floor

I see the slow drip
And suddenly it’s not enough
It’s your fault, you deserve pain
And the cuts start to get rough

My vision starts to blur
And the pain begins to fade
My knees are about to give way
And I lose the grip on my blade

I dropped it though I didn’t hear
The blade hit the floor
I felt arms wrap around me
How did I forget to lock the door?

He whispers in my ear
I love you with all my heart and soul
No matter what happens or what you do
I will never leave you in this dark hole

I lift my eyes to look into yours
But I feel a chill to the bone
When I looked around the room
I saw I was alone.

You called me that night after work
I told you bits and pieces but never tell it all
I feel if you knew everything
You surely would never call

So I’ll hide away this secret
I’ve never lied to you, just kept some stuff in
But if you want to know it all just ask
And I will share all that’s ever been