Does Love Ever Die?

The sun shines on my face as I look out at the little pond, and then at the waking and biking trails that ring the outside perimeter of the park, and then the swing sets for the children to play on. This is a family place, and we always enjoyed watching the kids swing, chase each other as kids do, and yes, watch the little children as they feed the ducks.

I sit on the bench, our bench, the one we used to share when we made our weekly visits to the park. It is not a very special place to most that would view it, but to me it is indeed a special place. It was her favorite place in the city, a place where trees and flowers grew and they changed just like the seasons changed. I remember one of her favorite hobbies was her garden, growing her flowers year round and the shrubs had to be trimmed just so-so to get the exact look that she wanted. Her love of her gardening and her amazing ability to make everything grow and look beautiful, it was truly a gift that she possessed.

Our weekly trips to the park included our lunch; either a sandwich or a small salad, a little piece of cheese and then some wine to drink as we ate and talked, And not to be forgotten, always some bread crumbs for the ducks. I don't know if ducks make a connection to individuals or just recognize that people mean easy food. But they sure seemed to scamper her way as soon as we got to our bench.

As I sit here in the spring of my 74th year, the sun shines on my face and I think back at the times we shared here, simple yet very fulfilling times. We talked of our kids and grand-kids, our friends from the past, some living and some now gone, regrets of things we never did, and regrets of things we never should have done. But who amongst us does not have similar regrets, for if you have no regrets, you never had much excitement in your life.

It is also the second year I am sitting here alone on this day, her last day. Is it a sad day? Somewhat. I remember that day, the one where she is telling me what the Doctors had told her, and how she looked me in the eye and said: we will fight this together, and it will not defeat us because for us there are still hills and mountains to climb, oceans to sail, new places to visit and many other things we still have on our list of things for us to do.

But no matter how hard we tried, how brave she was, for both her and for me. It was not to be, her illness eventually took over and we enjoyed the precious time we knew was fading away with every day. As much as we like to think that medical science has it all figured out, they don't, dialysis only can do so much, and for only so long, and at later stages of life you are not on the donor list. They save the donations for the younger folks, and maybe that is the way it should be, because we were never made to be immortal.

As I sit here I remember her words to me: you will go on without me, you will be happy and continue to do the things that we have always done and you will love our family and you will have fun for both of us. Even though I am no longer here with you physically, we are connected in spirit and I will always be a part of you, as you my love will always be a part of me.

So as I sit here today on this, the second anniversary, I think of her, our life together, the good things we enjoyed and a few bad things that we, like everyone else suffered through and her words still ring in my ear. "Remember my love, even though I am not here with you today, we are connected in spirit and I will always be a part of you, as you my love will always be a part of me".

As the tears roll down my cheek, I ask myself, does love ever die? And the answer is no, I think not, yes the person you love ceases to be, but the love and the memories will last as long as one of you is still there to remember and cherish those times you shared.