Does Age Really Matter (8)

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Lexy L. ♥
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Does age really matter? (8)
I'm not going to tell you my struggle month after month. Over the coarse of months and months; every day was the same. I awoke and screamed in agonizing pain. Then I fell into sleep with tears streaming down my cheeks.

Six months later, they found a cure for my virus. They told me they didn't know how I survived. Most of the people with my virus died.
They told me I was a fighter. Truly I was, I wasn't ready to die. I had so much life left in me.

The nurse told me that my parents died a month before the cure was made. I didn't know what to think. But I wasn't sad and I wasn't angry. My feelings were undescrible. I sat their for hours trying to think of the right words to describe how I felt. Only no words seemed to match. No such words seemed to exist.

"Jade?" A voice called
I looked up to see Jare leaning against my bedroom door. He looks different then I remember. His hair is spiked and his electric blue eyes seem sad and distant. His definitely avoiding
eye contact. He looks about the floor, he looks around my room. He looks anywhere but at me. Where his eyes should be.

I put the glamor magazine down and walk toward Jare. My hand reaches out and touches his chest. Those blue eyes look at my hand, still their refusing to look at me.

"Jare, look at me. Just look at me."

"I can't." He whispers in a strained whispers. My hand touches the back of his neck. My fingers slowly tracing his neck.

"You didn't even tell me you were alive. I thought you were dead. I-"

A long pause in silence came. Four long minutes passed, that felt like four hours.

"Why?" Jare finally said, breaking the silence.

"I didn't think you would care." I said honestly

He grabbed a hold of my shirt, gripping the fabric in his strong hand. "You didn't think I fucking cared! What the hell Jade! I sat and waited for your call every day. I only missed one of your calls!
Then I thought you died. I thought that's why you stopped calling! Only that's not why you stopped calling, is it? I don't even know but fuck, fuck, fuck, Jade do you know how guilt I felt?

So guilt that I missed that one goddamn call."

"Jare calm down. Stop swearing. Just calm down." I told him

"Calm down? Fuck. I'm not going to calm down. I thought the girl that I loved was dead!"

He didn't just say that. He didn't just say he loved did he?

"You don't love me." I say

"The hell I don't. I waited and waited for your call. I thought-"

"You don't love me." I say

He looks at me with such a hard look. I look away.

"I love you Jade."

"You don't even know my last name." I said

"I love you Jade."

"You don't even know what my favorite color. " I said

" I love you Jade."

"Let go of my shirt."

He releases my shirt and I turn my back to him.

"Your completely insane if you think you love me."

"Jade, I love you."

" I don't love you Jare. And I'm not trying to hurt you feelings and I'm not trying to be a bitch here but I don't love you. I don't know you enough to love you."

"Yeah I know Jade. That's fine, sweetie. You don't have to love me. I just want you to know
that I love you."

Then I turn around slowly to him. "So what do you want Jare?"

"I don't know. I'm very confused with everything. I mean your so young and-" He sighed. "I really don't know Jade." I watched him slide his hands into the pocket of his jeans and sits on my bed.

Its so strange to see Jare on my bed, in my room.

"Your a complete mess Jare." I whisper

"Sit down with me." Jare said He pats a spot beside him. I look at the bed, then back at Jare. I'm not going to sit with Jare. It makes me to nervous to sit on a bed with Jare, when were alone.

"Jade? What's wrong?" He says, completely mystified.

Only it takes seconds for him to get it. "Oh. Jade. Don't worry. I'm not going to do anything."

Then he smirks.

I turn my back to him and open my bookcase, pretending to read the titles of the books. He made me feel like such..... a child compared to him. But I've never been close to a guy before. Guy has never told me he has loved me. A guy has never looked at me the way Jare does. It makes me nervous and I just don't know how to act to it.

I Sigh and open a book. Flipping through the pages, pretending to read it.

"I know your not reading that book. No one reads that fast." Jare says, chuckling.

His arms snake up behind me and pull me onto his lap. "Jare!" I Whine, smacking his arm.
"Let go of me!"
So he lets go of me. I crawl off of him and stand up.

"C'mon Jade." Jare says

"What?" I ask

"Are you really going to make me chase you?"

I rolled my eyes and pretending to read my book.

"You make it really hard to get close to you Jade. And that only makes me want to get closer to you more Jade." He said

"Jade, Jade, Jade. At least let me hug you." Jare said
I walk over to Jare and hug him. Only his hands slipped lower than my back. Immediately I slapped him.

"What do you think your doing?" I asked

"I was touching my girl. Why did you hit me?" Jare asked I looked at his spiky black hair, his electric blue eyes, his smooth soft skin, the sweet smile on his face. How he was laying on his back and I could see the outline of his abs through his shirt.

I thought about how I liked how thick his lips were. How I liked hearing him calling me his girl.

"Oh so now I'm your girl? And Jare you don't touch me there!" I said

"I don't know, you tell me. And why?" Jare asked

"Cause guys don't touch me." I said

Jare's eyes lighten and says in a smooth voice. "Never?"

"Never." I said

His hands run up and down my thighs. He makes that touch feel intimate. "I didn't know. I thought-"

I nod. "It's okay."

"So do you want me?" Jare says his arms move up to my waist and he stands up with his arms still around me. I stare into his soft blue eyes, and I feel this pain inside of me.

"Yes." I said really low, staring at the floor.

"Uh no. I want you to look me in my eye and say how much you want me." Jare said

I look into his eyes and I say it; "Jare I want you. I really want you and my your girl." Then It's too much and I turn away and blush.

"Jade, why are you so nervous?" Jare asked
I slap his arm. "Cause."
"Cause why?" Jare asked
I stared at the floor. "I'm just not use to older guys, okay? And I know, know, I'm young. But don't say it."

"Jade, I'm not going to slow down. That's just not me in my nature. and with you, I can't slow down. But if your not up for it-"

"Like I said, I'm your girl." I said it with a nervous tone to my voice.

He kissed my cheek lightly. "I'm going to pick you up at round eight. Wear something sexy. "
"But classy." He adds
* * * * * * * *
I never liked the way people danced at parties. The grinding against each other. It's like sex with clothes on. Usually at parties, I never dance with guys. I just stand around awkwardly watching other people dance.

Jare seemed to notice that too. "Don't worry, that's not how I dance." He whispered He pulled me close to him. I wrapped my arms around his neck, while his arms wrapped around my waist.

"I know it seems like I come on too strong. But I've just missed you so much Jade." Jare said

"Excuse me, May I cut in?" A female asked