Do You Hear Me

You know that feeling that you get when you feel so out of place? Like you don't know when to include yourself in things and when not to. That's how I feel. My name is Spencer Nash, and I go to an all girls private school. I don't know what my parents were thinking when they sent me here. Maybe they wanted me to be a lesbian or something. I really don't know. Most of the girls here are, well just plain stuck up rich girls. They think they're too good for me to even notice my existence. And the ones that aren't like that, well I'll let you know when I find one.

My family isn't so large. I'm an only child and I have a mom and a dad. My dad was the one who decided to name me Spencer. It has always sounded so boyish to me. I would have just had people call me by my middle name, but Delilah wasn't really what I was looking for. So I've just stuck with Spencer my whole life. I'm really quiet most people say. I don't talk to anyone unless they talk to me. So I pretty much don't ever talk. I've only had really one best friend in my life. It was in elementary shool. His name was Stephen. We had met when we were five and were best friends until the summer going into sixth grade. The summer my parents decided to switch me to this school. I haven't talked to him since the day that I left. Stephen was like an older brother to me even though we were the same age and I was a couple of months older than him. He had always looked out for me. If someone ever talked to me meanly, he would be there to yell at them.

Here at Coastal Academy we have dorm rooms. Yes, I have to live here. The good thing is my parents paid extra for me to have my own room. But that wasn't until after I had to do a lot of convincing them that if they didn't get me my own room I would cut myself. I wouldn't have really done that, I just really knew how to get my way with some things. It's nice not to have a room-mate. Since there is another academy not too far from here for just boys, a lot of the girls sneak out to go meet up with them. And I couldn't deal with having someone in and out of the room in the middle of the night while I was trying to sleep. I remember when my parents first brought me here, we drove by the academy for the boys. It was so big, like bigger than any castle you have ever seen in any fairytale book. I had kind of been bummed when I saw my school. It was about half the size of it. But, it was still bigger than a lot of the other schools we had looked at.

I look around my room. Today is Saturday so I don't have to actually go to school. Most kids have fun on the weekends. But I dread them. I'd much rather be in school doing something, then sitting around doing nothing for a whole two days. When I hear the bell ring that calls us for lunch I hear my stomach make a noise. I realize that I haven't eaten in a good two days. I walk out of my room and down the long hallway to the staircase. My room is on the third story. There's five floors. The lunch room is on the second, I love not having to walk that far. I always get my food and then bring it back up to my room and eat it there. I've always done it. Ever since the first day. I don't think anyone has ever noticed me do it. And I really don't care. They don't talk to me.