Do You Have True Friends?

Humans are all social beings that’s why we naturally need a community to meet other people, to socialize. No one can rely on all people but we need some to trust and rely on (to a certain extent) and those are what we call "friends".

Having a friend is risky because you might get hurt and disappointed at times, but the value of a reliable friend is far greater and it is worth risking. As Ralph Waldo Emerson affirmed:"The only way to have a friend is to be one."

We all have friends, more or few but they are there for us when we need support just as you are there for them whenever they need you, sharing joy and sorrow, that’s what friends are for after all! "We all need friends with whom we can speak of our deepest concerns, and who do not fear to speak the truth in love to us." Margaret Guenther

"Let us be grateful to people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom." Marcel Proust

True, but do you have true friends? "False friends" exist you know, you will eventually experience that (if you haven’t already) particularly when you have a difficulty and you need help. The true friends will give you a hand until you are out of your dilemma, but the false friends will simply…vanish! Yes, those vanish when you most need them.

Ok but whom should you call a real friend?

In his book of proverbs, the counsel offered by King Solomon proves to be extremely valuable once more.

1. To the question "Who should be your closest friend?" Solomon’s answer is: "Say to wisdom, "You are my sister," and call insight your intimate friend." Proverbs 7:4 .Interesting and intriguing in the same time, wisdom and insight are … true friends?! Sounds a bit lonely, doesn’t it? Nevertheless, Solomon enhances the importance of wisdom in relationships, due to the fact that he was after all, the wisest person on earth (excepting Jesus who is the Son of God). Wisdom will keep you away from many false friends!

2. Loyalty and reliability are a must among the characteristics of a true friend! "A friend loves at all times..." Proverbs 17:17 Regardless of circumstances, the one you call "friend" should show love and understanding towards you. Your new position (higher or lower) should have no effect on the quality of your friendship.

It is dangerous to have a friend "on the pedestal" for a great job, good looks, a position you want etc. Do you have a friend just because he is a chief manager in a successful company? What if he loses that job, would you still want to be his friend? It is vital to test your own motivations for that friendship. If his/her annual income will considerably decrease, will you value her/him just as much? Be aware that this pedestal will eventually disappear, that’s why if you still want this friendship, find other reliable character assets (and not material assets) to determine you to continue.

3. A true friend will tell you the truth but with love. If you’ve made a mistake, a sincere friend will rectify your behavior even if it might seem painful. "Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy." Proverbs 27:6 "Oil and perfume make the heart glad, and the sweetness of a friend comes from his earnest counsel." Pro 27:9

4. Solomon warns against a great number of friends as well. "A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother." Pro 18:24
So, better few faithful friends then numerous shallow friendships. I say numerous shallow friends because there just isn’t enough time to build a close relationship with a whole crowd. That precious friend who sticks closer then a brother will compensate!

5. Friends for money:
"Many seek the favor of a generous man, and everyone is a friend to a man who gives gifts." Pro 19:6
"Wealth brings many new friends, but a poor man is deserted by his friend." Pro 19:4

To sum up, it is better to have fewer reliable friends who love you for who you are and not for your possessions. May true friends always surround you but even if this is not always the case, be a great friend yourself!