DIVORCE, Bitterness, Letting Go, Starting Over: 2 Poems

"Autumn Has Seasoned Me Well"

Content to be understood in a casual way and yet...

He was a most attentive healer.

Every space and corner he defined in me.

I so tastefully wore a crown.

No one around.

Stayed and stayed...

he remembered he had not seen me in full bloom.

All things considered I should have waited to hear the rest,

but patients gathered in the hallways,

wounds too deep to mind.

Who can contend with such a lover?

At least I know that I don't heal well.

There were reprieves I had not considered,

but Autumn...

Autumn has seasoned me well.

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"Now"

I seem to have new pathways to assemble.

The steam reaches out and irons out the discontentment of time.

I step past memories and longings and reach out.

Life is unclear

impossible to be real.

Days go by and I find myself in a new reality,

a reality of happy.

You lend me the fragrance of freedom,

the air of pause,

in the water and substance there is a tranquility I have never known.

My soldier of old,

my lament,

I am always so afraid they'll take you from me.

I dare not completely touch today

or sleep and find you gone,

and learn you have never been with me at all.

So I smile on the pathway

maneuver my restraint.

I cannot live in the shadow of regret

and not see what is right there in front of me.

This spirit being now and present, not meant to be over analyzed.

There are doors belonging to freedom

and they all have special handles.

I can decorate them, understand them, hold them, charm them,

or let them go.