Two Sides of the Same Coin: Chapter 2

Desires and Facts: Our Wills are Ours, We Know not How?

When the workshop finishes, Emma goes off from theater. She is walking down the Henley Street. The Henley Street, the oldest street in the Stratford-Upon-Avon, is crowded for shopping and entertainment and a popular tourists place. William Shakespeare's father, John Shakespeare bought a farmhouse in the Henley Street, where William Shakespeare was born on 1564. And here curious Barnett is following his dream lady on the same place where Shakespeare might have wandering in his light of thoughts. It seems everything is beautiful and new to Barnett. But how can it be? Barnett is born and brought up in Stratford-Upon-Avon only? After a long walk Emma enters in a mall. "Alas! Shopping! The worst thing I ever do in my life!" Barnett exclaims and stops....

Barnett can feel the changes within himself because of the girl, Emma. "Shit, I don't know her name, nothing about her! Than her beauty... Am I mad to follow her? What is this?" Barnett asks himself and stops pursuing her. He starts walking on the opposite way from Emma. Now he thinks this is the right time to judge yourself. Whenever you find Barnett confuse about anything, he will go to the river, Avon. He increases his speed and sits on a huge black stone, near to the boating zone. On the river, people are shouting, enjoying and clapping, on the contrary Barnett is calm and thoughtful. As a great analyzer Alfred Tennyson who is influenced by classicism, here Barnett analyzes his own parameters. Barnett would love to meet Emma in his real life. But at this time he is somewhat puzzled. Barnett calculates his questions and at the same time his desires, "Why do I want to talk her? To an unknown coquettish gal and Am I in love? Of course not.... It cannot be a crush. Then what it is?"

"How far a person can know his own desires and dreams. It's a big question, here Barnett remembers his one of the favorite poems by Alfred Tennyson, 'In Memoriam'. The poem, 'In Memoriam', is the way of the soul that describes Victorian society. That time the poem arose many questions need to be resolved and a stream of consciousness among humans. The poet Alfred Tennyson quoted, "Our wills are ours, we know not how?"

"Yes, there is a difference between desires and facts. How can one understands own self? Have you ever made a decision without the help of parents or friends? Desires, the internal feeling longing for a person or thing can be the initial stage full of wishes, hopes and dreams. Whereas Facts are the actual happenings, come in the life as an accident! That's true. It might be a puppy love. My desires may long for anything but it should be judged and taken on the right way as well. So, is there any difference between what do you wish and what have you got in your life. Let's put desires first - I want to talk her and she will be at least my friend. Come on! On the contrast, the facts are - that fair lady cannot take me away from my career. I want to become a philosopher, who will be known all over by novelty and spirituality. It shall not be distracted.... It means infatuation cannot turn into love suddenly, it needs some more time and understanding." Barnett smiles as if he finds the answer of life.

Now the sun is sinking below the horizon, Barnett realizes himself losing the war of love. Helter-skelter fishermen are collecting their stuff with lots of fish and going back to their shacks to celebrate their big profit. Those who are gone for boating praise the beautiful scenarios of hilly mountains covered with a green blanket, it is the spring that brings yellow daffodils. The sunset is spreading various colors in the atmosphere. There is competition among colors; orange and red colors have longer wavelengths scatter less than the shorter wavelengths of violet and blue colors. The water which has blue reflection during the whole day converts into the complementary effects of red, orange, violet and blue. And of Barnett who is searching for his self color. Within some minutes the green flash covers the blue skies and water of their shade. It seems they are telling human beings go to home dears, its time for sunset, time to sleep and bid farewell to nature with a hope that on tomorrow we will be back. All of them might achieve what they wish and what they have gotten. Thus, if you do honest efforts, you will get what you wish. Mazed Barnett turns his way to the home, with an answer - If she comes in my life, I will take a ride... Let the sunrise comes in my life too...

Barnett walks all the way back to home. What a surprise! The dream lady is also reached at the same place! Emma arrives to a nearby restaurant and now Barnett have to stop! Because someone standing behind buzzes him and asks, ''Hello dear, how was your workshop?" Barnett finds out it is a familiar sound, the person talking to him is not an unknown person but his own father who is following him on the same way to their restaurant...! The restaurant which Barnett's father owned names - 'Barnett'... as Barnett is the eldest and dearest son in the family. Barnett and his family stay on the second floor and first floor is the restaurant for food lovers. Damn! Barnett's father takes Barnett to the same place where Emma is having dinner. Barnett is so scared and dares not to do anything... what else can he do than following his father...

But inside Barnett is so happy that again returns to Tennyson -
"I hold it true, whate'er befall;
I feel it when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all."

Barnett's father asks, "What happens Barnny! I think you are hungry, better go to your mom and have food." Barnett replies, "Nothing dad, I just remember two lines of Tennyson's poem - Our wills are ours, we know not how; Our wills are ours, to make them thine! Yes, I get it!" Like a hungry cat jumping for its prey, he goes upstairs calling, "Mom! It's Barnny"

The way you love, the way you hate. Isn't it the two sides of the same coin? Desires and facts... Feel free to post your comments.