Demons That Tempt Those I Tempt With (Chapter Two: Sleepless Night)
Chapter 2: Sleepless night (Fran's diary entry from chapter 1). Please comment, all would be appreciated....and play nice :) *HUGS*
Chapter Two:
Sleepless Night
Dear Diary,
I tried to sleep, but was afraid too. I thought about the possible outcomes of last nights events. I went downstairs to find Mum and Pete (her new boyfriend) cuddled up on the sofa. It made me feel sick. They asked if I wanted to join them, but the thought of being surrounded by love sickened my stomach. Instead I opted for a hot chocolate, a night of writing to you from a confused perspective. Theo was fast asleep when I got home, I couldn't even find comfort and refugee in him. Alone again. I thought about calling Millie but knew she wouldn't want to talk to me. I blew her off again for Cece. I hated the fact she made me choose. Millie thought I had a boyfriend, and kept sneaking away to meet him. Millie and I promised each other we would never let a guy come between our friendships. I feel guilty; would it matter if that guy was a girl? Who am I kidding? I did try to tell Millie that I was seeing a female, but I didn't know how she would take it. Especially when she realized that female, was Cece. Millie and Cece don't get on too well. Millie thinks Cece is trying to use me for something, which obviously causes friction between the three of us. Maybe one day things could be different. I have basketball practice tomorrow, I don't think I'll go. I really need to sort things out with Cece. I need to know what's happening. Maybe if I had a clue to what she was thinking then maybe I wouldn't feel so paranoid. It was the look in her eyes that changed it for me. That look hurt me more than anything. The fact she didn't want me to hug her, was bad enough. On a serious note what would I do if she did break up with me? It's a question I find difficult to answer. I can't bear to think about the pain I would feel. I thought about talking to mum about it. But how would I explain it to her? It wasn't so bad that I was seeing someone but the part where this person is a girl. The part where I've been seeing her behind everyone's back for nearly two and a half years. Mum would go mad. I've had the do you dislike gay's convo with mum, and she seemed pretty cool with it. I don't know if it would be different if it was her own child. I feel so helpless. I have hardly anyone I can call to just ask for advice. It's funny at times I thought mum might of guessed that there was something more to mine and Cece's friendship. Cece stays over every week-end; we sleep together in the same bed, hardly ever apart. I would have suspected something, or maybe even questioned it. Kate has been great. Cece's mum understands the closeted relationship, I'm not to sure but it seems like she's been through something similar. Something she can relate to. Day light seems to be breaking, I didn't realize I was up so late. I guess I'll have to be up for school soon, I better attempt to sleep or at least look like it for mum's sake. She hates when I haven't sleep, and especially when I'm up all night on the laptop. Anyway speak soon; I'll let you know what happens with Cece. Wish me luck!!!!
Fran
X
P.S: * Georgina is coming to stay over this week, another happy family moment *
Sleepless Night
Dear Diary,
I tried to sleep, but was afraid too. I thought about the possible outcomes of last nights events. I went downstairs to find Mum and Pete (her new boyfriend) cuddled up on the sofa. It made me feel sick. They asked if I wanted to join them, but the thought of being surrounded by love sickened my stomach. Instead I opted for a hot chocolate, a night of writing to you from a confused perspective. Theo was fast asleep when I got home, I couldn't even find comfort and refugee in him. Alone again. I thought about calling Millie but knew she wouldn't want to talk to me. I blew her off again for Cece. I hated the fact she made me choose. Millie thought I had a boyfriend, and kept sneaking away to meet him. Millie and I promised each other we would never let a guy come between our friendships. I feel guilty; would it matter if that guy was a girl? Who am I kidding? I did try to tell Millie that I was seeing a female, but I didn't know how she would take it. Especially when she realized that female, was Cece. Millie and Cece don't get on too well. Millie thinks Cece is trying to use me for something, which obviously causes friction between the three of us. Maybe one day things could be different. I have basketball practice tomorrow, I don't think I'll go. I really need to sort things out with Cece. I need to know what's happening. Maybe if I had a clue to what she was thinking then maybe I wouldn't feel so paranoid. It was the look in her eyes that changed it for me. That look hurt me more than anything. The fact she didn't want me to hug her, was bad enough. On a serious note what would I do if she did break up with me? It's a question I find difficult to answer. I can't bear to think about the pain I would feel. I thought about talking to mum about it. But how would I explain it to her? It wasn't so bad that I was seeing someone but the part where this person is a girl. The part where I've been seeing her behind everyone's back for nearly two and a half years. Mum would go mad. I've had the do you dislike gay's convo with mum, and she seemed pretty cool with it. I don't know if it would be different if it was her own child. I feel so helpless. I have hardly anyone I can call to just ask for advice. It's funny at times I thought mum might of guessed that there was something more to mine and Cece's friendship. Cece stays over every week-end; we sleep together in the same bed, hardly ever apart. I would have suspected something, or maybe even questioned it. Kate has been great. Cece's mum understands the closeted relationship, I'm not to sure but it seems like she's been through something similar. Something she can relate to. Day light seems to be breaking, I didn't realize I was up so late. I guess I'll have to be up for school soon, I better attempt to sleep or at least look like it for mum's sake. She hates when I haven't sleep, and especially when I'm up all night on the laptop. Anyway speak soon; I'll let you know what happens with Cece. Wish me luck!!!!
Fran
X
P.S: * Georgina is coming to stay over this week, another happy family moment *
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