Demons That Temp Those I Tempt With (Chapter One: Relief Next To Me)

Demons That Tempt, Those I Tempt With
Chapter One
Relief Next To Me

I woke to a bright and sunny day. Feeling reserved in myself, I roll over to check the time. It was still early. I didn't have to be up for another hour or so. But I couldn't help it I was excited. I haven't been this happy for ages, I loved this feeling, I can't describe it but all I know is that I'm addicted to it. It's captivating! It's got its turning point but who cares? I couldn't care what people thought when they start to find out. Nobody. Nobody at all could fight the flaws of attraction. It was impossible. The sad thing is I can't tell anyone just yet. A couple of weeks ago we had an English lesson, and the teacher asked what's your fatal flaws, she told us to think about it. I couldn't answer the question there and then; I would have probably said something stupid like smoking and drinking. But thankfully I've found something better. Love. I sigh as a grin spreads across my face. That's what I felt. Love. A beautiful feeling. The feeling to be loved and love back was one in a million. I try to shush my brain as I realize I've been rambling on about the same thing for over half an hour. I couldn't help it. I wanted to scream it from the roof tops, but instead resulted to screaming it into my pillow. I laugh. How pathetic was that?

Awake, showered, and dressed I made my way downstairs to the breakfast table. "Good morning mum" I grinned as I kissed her on the forehead. She looked at me shocked, funnily enough so was I.
"Okay so who is he?" she cheekily smiles as she chumps into her toast.
"Oh mum there's no one. I'm just in a good mood." I avoid the question.
Mum laughs. "I was seventeen once remember. You don't wake up early for no reason, come downstairs and kiss me. And you certainly don't sing lovey-dovey songs in the shower."

I blush as she continues. "Just remember to be careful" she wages her finger at me. "Mum there is nothing, I'm just going to work that's all...My mind trails off to the events that I have planned for today. Not hearing what mum was saying I nod anyway. "I'll be home late tonight, after work I think a few of us are going to catch a movie...Is that okay?" mum couldn't possibly say no, after all I don't work in an environment where there's loads of pervy guys.
"Sure, what time is late? Remember the house rules!" Since I turned seventeen mums introduced some house rules, which I don't think I'll ever stick to in a million years.
"Erm around about eleven'ish" I mumble as I put on my overalls.

"Why don't you look for a different job, jobs like that are for men and those butch women." Mum didn't like the idea of me working as a mechanic in a car garage.
"Oh mum we've been through this. Hold on why you up so early? Working already?" I question. It was far too early for her to be up; Theo was still sleeping so I didn't see a reason really.
"For me to know and for you to find out" she hissed as I left. It wasn't the fact that I was a mechanic, but the fact all the women there were lesbians and very butch...

It was a beautiful day! The sun was shinning, the sky was blue. There was just enough wind to make it perfect. Yet again anything is perfect in my eyes right about now. I loaded the car with my tools, a blanket, and a hamper which I had put together. It had everything you could imagine, sandwiches, strawberries, cream fruit cake, pasta salad...I didn't remember the rest. But I had gone to a lot of effort; I was up all night preparing it. I set off on my twenty minute journey to work. I turned up the radio, as I began to sing. Stopping at a red light my phone flashed me a text. It read "Can't wait until later, I woke up and you were the first thing I thought about. I finish at twelve today! If I forgot to send you a telepathic message I'll send it to you right now baby I love you. It ended with a kiss and a C." I melted. I started to reply when I heard the commotion behind me, I didn't realize I was holding up the traffic at a green light.

I decided to take a half day off; well hopefully Charlie would give it to me. I leaned against the VW Golf he had been working on. He glanced up, and slid from underneath the car. He must have picked up on the glow I was radiating. "What's up?" he asked as he wiped the grease of his hands. "I was just wondering if I could take half a day. I'll make it up to you tomorrow I promise, I'll work the whole day tomorrow." I pleaded hoping he would say yes.
"Who's the lucky lady?" he grinned. I couldn't believe it was that obvious.
"Ah it's that obvious huh? Nobody you know." I laughed feeling embarrassed.
"I couldn't possibly stop you in your tracks to love can I?" was that a rhetorical question or did he want me to answer that? "Of course you can! You're making it up to me though." He winked as he slid back underneath the car.
"Thanks you're a life saver!"

I begin to walk off when I heard Lydia scream "Oh Baby D got herself a little date!" Everyone started cooing and making kissing noises.
"Oh my God, how old are you?" I question not being able to contain my laughter. All the girls at the garage were older than me, hence the nickname baby D. I loved working here, it was the only place I could be myself and not lie about who I was. Charlie had become an idol to me, he always looked out for me and offered advice. Mum isn't really fond of him. Charlie is transgendered, his real name is Charlene and he has actually still got his female autonomy. But prefers to be known as Charlie and referred to as him rather than she. Either way I loved Charlie to bits. Everyone knows Charlie's garage to be the dike garage on the corner of Pelham Street, which never failed to be out of business.

I was up in the office when my phone began to ring.
"Hey, where are you?" I ask feeling my heart beating faster and faster.
"Outside the garage."
I was filled with happiness but at the same time nervousness.
"Come in!" The excitement escaping.
I end the phone call as I spring down the stairs. Walking down the steps a figure quickly caught my eye; I was taken back by the gleaming figure that smiled as we made contact. I couldn't believe how lucky I was. The gang introduced themselves and made her feel at home. Charlie calls me from the back office.

"So where you off to?" he asks as he stirs his cup of tea.
"A drive up to the beach house, then a walk and a picnic, watch the sun go down then back home I guess." I smile.
"I take it your driving then?" I nod in response to his question.
"Okay, take these don't ask anything. Just bring it back In one piece that's all I ask...I stand in utter silence. I couldn't believe it. He was giving me the keys to the covetable that we both worked on when he took me under his wing. A tear came to my eyes. "Go on take it".

I had never felt more on edge than in this instance. I felt too happy, and whenever I was overly happy something bad always tended to happen.
"Okay I'm off see you all tomorrow." I screamed over the knocking of metal.
"Baby D aren't you going to introduce us?" Sara asked. Unknowingly to the fact that I had already contemplated the idea.
"Cece this is my family...I pointed out everyone introducing them one by one, taking care not to forget anyone. Cece smiled and waved a hello at everyone. I felt amused by her shyness. I led Cece by her hand almost forgetting that Charlie was still in the office. By the time I had reached he was standing at the door, I guessed he was eavesdropping.
"Charlie this is Cece, Cece Charlie." Trying to catch my breath. Charlie extended his hand as Cece did the same.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, I've heard so much about you." Cece smiled as they loosened each other's grip.
"I'm just happy you both found each other" He explained. My expression changed what did he mean? He must have noticed he continued. "I can see your both smitten with each other; I can feel the warmth surrounding you both. It's just lovely to see you both happy" he paused almost as if he was waiting for me to say something. "Go on get out of here, go and enjoy the day ahead." He motioned us away as he winked. We left as I heard him call out "Cece welcome to the family". My heart melted. I felt a great sense of emotion overwhelm me. I felt acceptance. Charlie was a big part of my life; he kept me on track when I needed him to. He never gave up on me when everyone else did.

I say my goodbye's to the girls, and transfer my things into the convertible. We embrace. I hug her again placing a kiss on her cheek.
"Let's go!" the excitement in my voice was clear to hear.
I could sense she questioned my openness with her. I normally don't show affection towards her when there's anyone around it makes things to awkward, but here it was different. I could be myself and never not once needed to worry about what any one thought, we were all singing from the same hymn sheet. We began our journey. I couldn't believe my luck. I've found such a special person, who I love more than anything. We've managed to just about keep our relationship concealed. I don't know how longer I can. I just want to be able to show her off to the world, and let everyone know this is the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. Is that so wrong?

Cece turned towards me as she said "They all seem pretty nice" her voice almost cut by the wind.
"Yep they sure are. It was the only place I didn't have to hide who I was. It's the only place I can be myself when I'm with you." I stopped as I saw Cece concentrating her mind drifting. I place her hair behind her ears, as I calmly asked "What are you thinking?" Cece shivered. "Are you cold?" I ask concerned.
Cece giggled. "Cold? No it's just the effect you have on me." Cece smiled a playful cheeky grin.
"You didn't answer my first question" I politely point out. Cece seemed to be thinking about her answer before she spoke.

"Hmm, well it doesn't matter really" she apposed. I hated when she didn't tell me what she was thinking. I have an urge with Cece. It's a need to get inside her head so I know what she's thinking. Sometimes it's hard because she's so careful in what she says it intrigues me. I look at her meaningfully. I wished she would open up a little more about things. I mean we had a great relationship but I knew she kept something away from me. We looked at each other, almost forgetting I was meant to be watching the road. Cece rubbed my cheek with her fingertips
"I never want this to end; I want to be with you forever. " As I looked into her eyes, searching for something more she added "That's what I was thinking." It made me laugh, soon after my expression grew serious.

"Why can't you be with me forever?" Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to wonder what she thought all the time. I awaited a answer but it never came.
We drove in silence for a while.
"Where are we going?" Cece asks as I turn to face her.
I giggle. "A secret, where nearly there." Cece cranked up the radio, and was singing a long. Life couldn't get any better. I was driving along the open road, in a fantastic convertible with the most gorgeous person next to me. What more could I ask for? Cece turns to say something, but stops in her tracks.
"What?" I ask. "What's wrong?" Cece's face grew serious. I didn't like the looks of it. I hope whatever she has to tell me doesn't destroy what I have planned. Reading my mind she continues.

"I hope this doesn't spoil our day out...But...I couldn't keep you a secret anymore. I told someone." Okay I mean it wasn't the end of the world was it? Really did I care? If two people are in love it shouldn't matter about the race, gender, sexuality, age or size. Love is love; we can't help who we fall for right! I smile, reassuring her that it was okay. I asked who she told. I was curious. I laughed out loud as she said "my mum and..." I felt uneasy. I guess she felt that too. Cece caught my hand and held it tight, encouraging me that her mum was okay with her sexuality, and won't tell a soul. I wasn't uneasy because she told someone, but what would her mum think of me? What did she say exactly?
Kissing my hand Cece continues "My mum will love you, she's heard so much about you!" I must have said that out loud, or she was reading my mind again. I drove one handed as our hands where entwined in her lap. Cece was right I didn't want this to end.

After we had eaten, we had decided to go for a walk before the sun went down. We strolled along the beach hand in hand. I looked down to see the sparkle in her eyes. I felt relieved. Cece always told me I was romantic and spontaneous, one of the reasons she fell in love with me. We were able to be free with each other and those around us when we were out of town, away from home. We were able to be ourselves, and most important be true to the relationship. I was very protective of Cece. "When we leave school let's move up here" her voice stopped to a halt. She blushed. I guess she was meant to think it not say it. I laughed. "You want to live up here with me?" I ask.

She nodded in response. We turned around, heading back to the bungalow. "Did you ever wonder about kids?" I whispered in her ears. She tingled. "Do you want children?" she looked up at me. "Do you?" I question. It then occurred to me that we were answering question with a question. Something my mum teased me about. "Boy or Girl" she insisted. That's when it hit me, I never really thought about it. Maybe we would have a family one day. A dog, two kids, maybe three or four. I would have a good job, she would work small hours. It made me laugh, it sounded like a heterosexual life. Why not? It was something I strived for.

Sitting on the porch it played on my mind. I wanted kids with her. I really did I know it was stupid to think about it then, but I couldn't help it. "I want to have children...I would love nothing more to have children with you." Cece laughed. "And how would we explain it to everyone?" she teased. "No one would need to know, we'll be far away. Just you, me, the kids and out puppy." I was pleased with the dream I had drawn up. "Check you out! Got it all worked out I see." We both stared ahead as the sun began to set. I scooped Cece into my arms, and held her tight. She leaned back and rested her head in my neck.
We had spent the whole day together. It was magical. We sat on the porch. Hand in hand, entwined in the love we shared. Everything was ideal; we sat as we watched the sun go down. I felt that Cece was somewhat distancing herself from me. I could sense there was something wrong, she became isolated.

Have I done something wrong? I catch Cece starring up at me. That's when I knew there was something wrong. She had a disturbed look on her face. I look down on her, as I nervously ask her what's wrong. Tears filled her eyes, as she exploded. I tried to comfort her but she didn't want me near her. Instead she pushed me away. Crying out "I'm sorry, I didn't mean for this to happen. This is my fault. I should have told you. I've ruined your life." I reluctantly walked over to where Cece was sitting. I stroked her face "Talk to me, it can't be that bad." Cece's face began to become pale. "I'm not feeling well...she didn't look well, she looked drained. I didn't want to push her into telling me something she obviously found distressing as much as I wanted, needed to know. "Okay I'll take you home, wait here while I pack everything up" I kiss her on the forehead as I prepare to leave.

We drove home in utter silence. I didn't know how to comfort her. I couldn't find the words, I was confused. Our eyes meet, as she forced a smile. Returning the gesture, "I love you" slipped from my lips. I wasn't lying. I loved everything about Cece, I couldn't live without her. I just don't understand where it all went wrong. That's when it hit me. What if she didn't want us to see each other anymore? Maybe she's meet someone else. I don't know how I'll survive if she has. My mind questioning the possibilities.
"Cece" I called, as her eyes focused on mine. "Are you planning to leave me?" I asked as the tears gushed before me. It hurt to much. I didn't know what was wrong but all I knew it hurt. I didn't like the feeling I had developed. I continued "I know it's not easy lying to everyone about what we are...

I pulled into the drive in at Cece's house. I pulled her chin up to meet mine "what we have! But I loved you long ago and whatever it is that is bugging you I just wish you find the strength to tell me." We hugged, as I took hold of her hands. "Cece I don't know what's going on. But I love you and whatever it is, I'm sure we can sort it out. We have too much to let it all go." It was true we've been through too much to let it go.
Cece realizes her grip "I'll talk to you soon". She smiled as she got out the car. I followed. I grab her hand as she's about to walk off. I brake down into tears, as we hug again. "We need to talk. Not today, but tomorrow when everything is much more calm. I have something to say but I don't know how to tell you. I'm hurting right now and I don't know how to let you in"
Cece wipes the tears from my eyes. I place a kiss on her forehead. "I'm going to go". I jump in the car and leave. I didn't know what to make of it.

I lay in bed that night not knowing what went wrong. I didn't understand it. I battled with my mind. My heart was telling me that she wouldn't leave me, but my mind begged to differ. I sounded desperate. I knew that but it was much more than that. We sacrificed everything just so that we could attempt to have a relationship. I lay there remembering how our relationship evolved. That's when it had come to me

I had meet Cece at school a year and a half before we started dating. I remember being mesmerized by her. It was hard for me to deal with at the time; I was just coming out to myself and didn't understand what I wanted. Cece instantly joined our clang; she was a sister of one of the girls on the basketball team which happened to be my next door neighbor. We never really spoke but exchanged smiles and blushes. After a year had passed, we grew close. We walked to school together in the mornings, and she would attend the basketball matches and even joined in at practices. We even shared classes together which was a bonus. Millie instantly disliked the closeness that Cece and I shared. By this time I knew what I wanted, and what I wanted was Cece. I wasn't sure if she felt the same or if she even though the way I did.

It was hard for me, just in case she rejected me or decided to let everyone know what I was, I had to tread carefully. The day I finally told Cece how I felt came flashing back. Most memories a blur, but this I could never forget. It was a Sunday, mum had left for New York and took Theo with her. I was left home alone which mum detested of course. Cece and I had a project we had to work on, so she came around. We sat in my room at the desk where we deliberated on whether I had good taste in music or not, which was irrelevant to the task set and slowed us down. I had dropped a pile of papers stacked neatly on the edge of the bed, in unison we both bent down to collect them. Our hands touched. We both jerked back as sparks flew within my fingers. I guess she felt it to the way she examined her hands.

I moved away from her. To tempted to tell her how much I adored her. To tempted to tell her I've fallen for her, to tempted to place her hand in mine and hold her tightly. That's all I've ever wanted to do for some time now. Cece walked over to me, we stared at each other. I was uneasy of course, Cece seemed relaxed unaware of the tension that I felt. She smiled at me, making my body shiver. Cece acknowledge the effect, she had on me. "I'm sorry this is so hard for you" she sighed. Breathless I replied "What's so hard?" I hoped she would make the first move, I was certain she felt the same way. I felt like she knew what was happening, knew what we had. I collapse on the bed feeling light headed, my head marched through questions. Questions I needed answered. "This is very hard for me and I think you know why. Actually I'm certain you do." I kept eye contact I examined her response carefully. "I think I do too" she smiled. God why did she keep doing that? Smiling I hated it when she did, the effect was unbearable.

I remember the phone in the hallway ringing. I sighed in relief. The tension was too hard to bear. Cece remained still. I was just passing Cece when she took hold of my hand. I stopped. I could hear her breathing, smell her scent. It was torture. Voices in my head screaming at me TELL HER, TOUCH HER, DO SOMETHING! I froze unable to move. I turned to face her. Our faces close, to close. I rubbed my fingers down her cheek, placing her hair in place. I chuckled to myself. That was my thing; I always did that to Cece. I finally realized I had been laying in bed awake, for to long. There was no point attempting to sleep, I had to be up in less than half an hour. That was a habit of mine, I get lost inside memories and stories pretty easy. I searched for my phone under my pillow, in hope that she would have sent me a text message or a voice clip or something. Since we had been together every night Cece would send me a voice clip of her telling me she loved me. The fact that she hadn't done so, nerved me. What if she really had enough of the relationship? Maybe she was going to leave me! I tossed endlessly trying to block out the thought.