Delusional Love: Chapter 47

Hannah wiped the tears off her cheek and continued reading the letter, "Police arrived with the ambulance and took me and your aunt. They asked me several questions but I didn't open my mouth. I guess I was too shocked to say anything. All throughout the interrogation I kept thinking about you. I knew you would think that I tried to kill your aunt purposely to take revenge from you. I knew I had only worsened the whole situation.

The cops took me to the hospital because I had some minor bruises too and there I requested them to see Ms. Bennet but they refused as she was in the O.T. I asked about her condition and was more hurt to hear the answer. When doctors were examining me, I saw you through the glass door, talking with an officer. You were scared, hurt and devastated! I wanted to come out, hug you and wipe your tears away but I did not have the strength.

Then an officer came to take me away and we came across you in the corridor. As soon as the cop told you that I was the culprit I could see something shattering inside you. I knew you couldn't believe that I did this to your aunt but then you remembered my last words to you, "I'll make you suffer like you did to me. I'll rob you of all the happiness. You'll curse the day you met me. I'll make your life hell!" I remember saying that to you but I never meant it. I can never hurt you because I know it will hurt me twice. You ran at me swiftly and burst out. I was helpless. I wanted to justify myself to you but I was aware that you wouldn't listen to me. I was really hurt Hannah, to see that the girl who loved me with all her heart can suspect me of such heinous crime. Therefore I didn't say anything.

I spent all my time in prison thinking about you, wanting to see you just for once and God granted my wish. You came to meet me. I was determined to tell you everything this time, but the moment I entered the room I saw the same look in your eyes that you had before. You still thought of me as a murderer. I was badly hurt because I thought you must have overcome the shock of your aunt's accident by now and have begun to think rationally again but no, you still had that hate in your eyes for me which I could not bear. I decided to never meet your gaze again and witness the anger and hate you have for me in your eyes. So I sat with my head down all the while you were there in the room with me.

I remember everything that you told me there. First thing you said to me was that I must be happy to be back in the jail as this is the only place where I belong. This statement added fuel to the fire. Instead of retorting and shouting at you I decided to stay silent. Then you asked me the fateful question again, "Why did you try to kill my aunt?" I swear I wanted to get up and defend myself but I was too hurt to do that. Seeing you blame me for such a crime was unpardonable. You accused me for killing your aunt because you broke up with me. When in reality I wanted to kill myself because I can't bear to stay away from you. Hannah, you said that I never loved you, that I never cared for you. You accused me that I lied to you all throughout the time we were together but the truth is that you're the only person who knows the reality of my life. The person in front of whom I could pour my heart out.

Then you told me something which somewhat managed to heal my wounds, you told me that you don't love Jeremy, that you were only lying to me. I already knew that you didn't love him but I was still relieved to hear you say that. You said that you were leaving for U.S. and that came as a blow to me. I couldn't let you go. I couldn't see my life going away from me. I grabbed your hand and put it on my chest, on my heart so you could feel all the love it contains for you. But you didn't feel it, Hannah, and you left, and since then I've been dead.

How could you think that I could try to kill someone again? Didn't you see how much I suffered after killing my father? Why would I take that suffering on me again? How could I kill your aunt who only treated me like a son? How could have I hurt you? I was angry with you, yes, but I couldn't even imagine doing this to you. You left me alone. Huh! You broke your promise, Hannah. Remember what you told me? You said that you'd never leave no matter what happens, but you did. I would have spent my entire life in that jail happily if you had asked me to. Hannah, I love you. I never felt this way about anyone else. I found the true happiness again with you but I guess my misfortune will never leave me alone. Everything that happened to your aunt was unintentional. It was an accident. I never meant to kill her.

I hope I've cleared all the misunderstandings and gained your trust and love back. You know when we'll meet again, when you'll see me after reading this letter, I want you to give me a tight slap, no kidding! I deserve it for being a complete jerk. Huh! I can't wait to meet you, Hannah. Hold you in my arms. Kiss you again and do all those things that you didn't allow me to do before. Hahaha I hope you're not scared anymore.

You know I still remember seeing you for the first time. No, not at the café. You may have seen me for the first time in the café but my first time seeing you was when you stepped out of the taxi in front of your aunt's house. Actually I had come to Sarah's house to inform her about the party and as I was stepped out of her porch, I saw you getting out of the taxi. I don't know what but something happened at that moment. I precisely remember what you were wearing that time. You wore a yellow-brownish flower print dress with a white hat. You looked at your aunt's house and smiled. I guess that is the moment when I fell in love with you.

Your aunt came out of the house and then you ran towards her and held her in your arms. You both looked so happy and then you both went inside the house. I left but I couldn't stop thinking about you. Remember I met you at the book shop the next day? I said I was here to meet my friend? I lied to you. I wasn't there to meet anyone. I came there to see you. We talked for the first time in that book shop. I asked you to come to my friend's party but you refused. But I am not one of those who take "no" for an answer. I convinced Sarah to invite you to the party and you came. But you got mad to see me there and you decided to leave. "Please don't," was all I said and you stayed.

Then I dropped you, aunt to the house, the next day, and you made such a big deal out of it. You said you know "people" like me. You thought I was acting helpful just to get in your pants. I wanted to clear your doubt there and then, but then you said you don't want strangers to tell you what your problem is. It sort of hurt me, you calling me a stranger. I mean yes, it was a one day acquaintance but still. Anyway, I had to tell you the truth and so I said it. I said that you're scared of yourself and to be honest, you were.

I invited you to the party when we met after a gap of one week and I got the chance to dance with you. I swear on Lord, when I held you in my arms I felt something unusual. A desire evoked in me. I wanted to never let you go. You met that bitch, Bianca in the party.

Remember when I took you to my special place? I never took anyone there before but you were special enough to see it. You said admiring the beauty of this place, "I wish I had a special place like this back home." When you said "home" the thought of you leaving London and going back to America struck painfully. So I said, "You can make this your special too," hoping that you would never leave this place and me. That's when I asked you to be my friend and you immediately said yes. Wow! It feels so good recalling that beautiful moments we shared in the past.

But when there's happiness, I have to ruin it. You asked about my parents and when I told you about the demise of my father, you expressed regret. But being a fool like I am, I said, "Why? You didn't kill him?" So stupid of me. But I remembered that fateful incident Hannah when I killed my own father and therefore I reacted in that way.

The bug of jealousy bugged me for the first time when you brought Jeremy to Sarah's birthday party. You refused to dance with me but agreed to dance with him. I got really furious and when I caught you outside alone talking to someone, I decided to confront you. I pushed you to the wall and confronted you. I am really sorry about that. Then you called me a Delusional fool, and said that you're regretting being friends with me. An arrow went through my heart and I left.

Then I came back to apologize the next day. But Jeremy interrupted us. I drank throughout the evening and when I couldn't take it anymore I decided to meet you. I was drunk and I didn't remember what I babbled until you told me the next day. You know I was happy to know that I was finally able to tell you everything. But then I met you at the lake but you seemed upset about something. I guess you saw me and that girl. Actually she is Claire, one of my "toys". She called me to meet her at the lake. I went because I wanted to end this. She obviously didn't want to, because you know how good I am. On a serious note, we argued and then she finally agreed.

We hugged and kissed. She wanted to kiss me for the last time and as we both kissed what happened last night flashed before my eyes. Our first kiss, Hannah. It was so beautiful. That's when I realized that you loved me too and rushed to your home to confess my feelings for you. But you shut my mouth by saying, "it means nothing." I swear on God I was ransacked when I heard it. Grudgingly I left. Next day when I came to your house to sort things out I couldn't help but telling you that I saw you at the fair. I saw you looking at the fire without even blinking. You were lost in your thoughts, contemplating about something. Somewhere I felt that you were thinking about me.

You know, when you showed me the photo album of your family, I was really happy. You were coming out of your shell and was finally sharing something with me. You looked so adorable in that Santa costume. Then you told me that you were homesick. I didn't like to hear that, to be honest. I didn't want you to ever think about your home or going back. You added that when you'll go home you're going to miss this place as much as you're missing your home right now. And I was happy to hear that.

Remember our first date? It was sort of a date. The carriage ride, it was spectacular. On the ride you told me you hate fighting with me. That was really sweet. Then you asked me where were we going and I said let's not talk about the destination. Let's spend our eternity on this carriage, together. I meant it, Hannah. I want to spend my whole life with you.

And that fountain of love? It was so cool, right? And we danced on that song. Then we met that Bianca. She's like a bad curse which follows us everywhere. And the fountain poured, the Aphrodite's fountain, the rain! You hugged me tightly and we let the rain soak us.

Next day I reluctantly told you about the reason behind Bianca and my breakup. And you promised me that you won't leave me but you did!
We had some really good time together but we also faced a lot of difficulties which only made us stronger and strengthen our relationship. Then we went to the country for a weekend. I was out for the whole day, remember? Well that's because I spent my entire time at the castle where my mom and dad first met. I was vainly searching for them. I hoped to find some peace there. And that's the place where I realized that I actually love you. I recognized my feelings for you, there.

When I came back home and asked you how you liked this place, you told me that it is like Garden of Eden. My mother said exactly the same thing about this place. She said it was dad and her Garden of Eden and that's why they named me Adam.

I took you to the Castle because I was determined to propose to you there, in my parent's Garden of Eden. But you ran away. I still laugh when I remember it. Why did you run away Hannah? And during our moment in the room when you told me that you'd regret making love to me broke me from inside and I babbled something stupid in reply.

And then at the lake you finally confessed your feelings for me. I swear to Lord, I felt like all my wounds have been healed, like I have received redemption for all my sins. I was in heaven.

I finally requested you to marry me at the party. I wanted to have this huge party because I wanted to let everyone know that we're together.

You know at the party Bianca told me that you apologized to Jeremy for not letting him know about our union. I was hurt. One thing led to another and I started feeling that I was doing wrong to you. That you don't deserve a murderer like me. Our paradise, our Garden of Eden was now corrupted by a serpent named Bianca. And Look where we've come now.

I am sorry for writing such a long letter to you, Hannah and wasting your time but you needed to know what I felt throughout our relationship so that you won't blame me again for not loving you. So that you wouldn't say that everything that has happened between us was just a lie because only God knows how much I love you.

Now, I am eagerly waiting for you to running to me so that I can finally give my life to you.

Yours
Adam."

Hannah burst out as she put the letter on the bed, "I am so sorry, Adam. I am so sorry. How could I make you suffer like that? God! What have I done?" As she was resenting her past she felt Adam's body shaking. As she immediately raised her head to look at him, he opened his eyes.
*************************************************************

Response to Your Comments:

Lucy - I certainly agree with you. Adam's only fault is his impulsive nature, otherwise he's a great guy. Hannah is completely shaken now. If it wasn't for her, Adam wouldn't have been on the death-bed. It's a difficult time for both of them.

Jacqueline - This is not the last chapter. I will give a definite ending, don't worry.

Joce - Here's the Part 3.

--Me-- - That would be amazing. He should wake up and just hold Hannah in her arms.

Emma - LOL, he's good. Thanks a lot for your comment.

Kate - LOL, I hope so too that he survives.

Kyshia - Thanks a lot You know I had such a difficult time writing that letter because since the beginning we've been hearing or rather reading Hannah's POV, but since we're so close to the ending I want my readers to know what Adam felt too, since they've been together.

Stephanie - Thanks a lot, I hope you'll like this chapter too.

Consuela - Thank you so much.

Diana - Thanks a lot, I am glad to know that readers are reading my other story too.

Kat - It feels good to know that readers are appreciating your work. Thanks a lot.

Jaggyr - I am still contemplating about the ending. Don't know what's going to happen. Thanks a lot for your comment.

Vany - Thanks a lot for your comment.

Moon - Thank you for your feedback.

Shimmer - Thank you for your appreciation. I hope you'll like this chapter too.

Selina - Here's the next chapter. I hope you'll like it.