Definitely Not Average - Chapter 19

This chapter is dedicated to Rebby, because I almost cried in happiness when I read your comment, Riti, because I am so happy that you like the song, and to Phoebe, because she is number one on my list of best comment-leavers right now; she comments on every chapter and makes me so happy!
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I wonder sometimes if I was an evil person in my past life. Nobody deserves to live as I do - with a mother who doesn’t care and father who ran off. It’s an ego blow. Like everything you worked up to be in your childhood smattering to pieces. I wonder if maybe I could try to make things right, if maybe I did this or that better, or did that instead of this I would be a happy girl, instead of one who walks through life in a zombie-like trance. And then I remember that I am me, Grace Tulden, and that when you’re me, good things don’t happen.

So all I can do is wonder.
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The next day at school is like a dream; I go through with it, I walk to my classes, I eat lunch and smile at the people who suddenly seem to know me, but I do not stop to feel. I’m scared of what I might feel if I take notice of them.

I saw Rachael putting books away in her locker, with red-rimmed eyes. Like she had been crying. Okay, so she might be a stone-cold bitch, but I’m not completely heartless, Okay? I don’t like to see people upset when I know how heartbreaking it could feel. So me, being stupid me, walked up to her, with the eyes of many students on me.

‘Uh, Rachael?’ I said timidly.

She spun round and here eyes widened, and then sparked with hatred. ‘You! Come to gloat, have you?’

I blinked. ‘What? No! I just came to apologize for-‘

She laughed mirthlessly. She sounded scary. ‘You’ve come to apologize?’ More laughter.

My temper was rising, always close to the surface these days. ‘Well, fine.’ I snapped. ‘Maybe if you learned to talk nicely instead of dissing the first person who actually apologizes, T.J wouldn’t have dumped you for being the stone-cold bitch you are!’

She looked shell-shocked, and I realized then that maybe Rachael didn’t know what a bitch she was. But I had already turned on my heel and walked away, before I could think anything more on the subject.
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T.J was in my science class, which we had next, and I think he could tell that I was letting off steam, since he didn’t talk to me for the first couple of minutes of the lesson.

‘Are you alright?’ He said finally, brushing strands of hair away from his eyes.

‘Yeah,’ I grumbled. ‘But you’re ex-girlfriend is really starting to piss me off,’

TJ was amused, and I glared at him and the expression dropped. ‘What did she do now?’

‘Not much, really. I just went to apologize, and-’

I was cut of by the opening of the door which banged against the white-washed wall. I was surprised to see that it was Marc. ‘Hey,’ Marc said to sir, flashing a grin.

‘And what are you doing here, young man?’ Mr. Benton peered sternly at Marc over the top of his non-rimmed glasses.

‘I got relocated for my "Continuous disruption in class and failure to obey".’

Beside me, I heard T.J groan.

Mr. Benton pursed his lips. ‘Wipe that smirk off of your face, boy. And go and take a seat at the back. Do you work and I expect everything your teacher has set you to be met.’

Marc rolled his eyes and mock-saluted. ‘Yes, sir!’ I don’t know why, but it bothered me when the rest of the class started bubbling into laughter.

As Marc was making his way to sit at the solitary desk at the back of the classroom, he met my gaze and said softly. ‘Hey, Grace.’

I smiled tentatively at him.

The though that Marc Gladstone was sitting somewhere behind me made me feel uneasy, and I could see that T.J felt the same way. His fists were clenched on the table, and his back was ram-rod straight, alert.

‘Pssst, Grace,’ a hushed whisper broke my concentration and I automatically glances behind me. Marc was leaning forward on his desk, his eyes eager. He handed me a note. T.J looked at the paper in my hand.

I nervously glanced at it, then opened it and read inside:

What are you doing next Saturday?

I glanced to the front of the class where Mr. Benton was still talking, and hastily scribbled on the back of the note:

I don’t know yet. Why?

I passed him the note behind my back.

I heard a rip, as if he was tearing paper from something, then something was thrown onto my desk. It was a note again, and T.J glared at it as if it was the cause for all his misfortunes in life.

I opened the note. It read:

I’m having a party at my house - wanna come?

I nervous bit my lip and glanced at T.J. He looked stiff and tense.

I tapped him on the shoulder and whispered, ‘Are you going to Marc’s party next Saturday?’

He looked at me cautiously. ‘Yeah. Why?’

I didn’t answer T.J, but scribbled on the back of the note:

I’ll be there.

I turned around and passed the note back to him, and as he took the note from my hand, his fingers brushed mine and he held onto my hand, and he stared into my eyes, brown into brown, before reluctantly letting go.

I turned back to face the front, my cheeks on fire.
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At lunch, T.J was moody. We were sitting on a lunch bench in the quad, and I was about to ask him what was wrong, when we were approached by a girl - pretty, wore too much make-up, and she was giggling.

‘Um,’ she said between giggles. ‘Are you two like…together?’

I glared at her, and her giggling immediately stopped, her cheerfulness faltered. I knew what she meant by us being ‘together’ but I still said, ‘Well, usually, when two people are sitting at a lunch table together and they are talking together and eating lunch together, then yes, I guess it means those two people are together. Sorry the definition isn’t clear enough for you.’

Beside me, T.J was laughing, not even caring that he was seeming to offend the girl. She scuttled off without saying another word.

But as soon as the girl went, his good mood evaporated, along with his laughter, replacing itself with a scowl.

‘What’s wrong with you?’ I said, and took a bite off my pizza.

‘Nothing,’ he said moodily.

I sighed. ‘Don’t give me that. Something’s a matter. What is it?’

He turned around to face me and his bag slammed down on the table hard, making a loud thudding noise. ‘You wanna know what’s wrong with me?’ I nodded my head slowly, startled. ‘Then I’ll tell you what’s wrong with me. What’s wrong with me is that you don’t even know Marc, but you’re making all these…all these…’ T.J spluttered for the right word. ‘Arrangements with him. He could seriously hurt you!’

I was stunned. ‘Where is all this coming from?’ I said, dazed and disbelieving. ‘I’m not. making arrangements with him! I’m going to a party, Okay? And so are you!’

My fury was bubbling, boiling, and I knew T.J could tell that I was close to exploding. ‘Look, Grace. I don’t…I don’t know if you should go to this party.

That did it. ‘What the hell is wrong with you?!’ I shouted at him, jerking up into a standing position. ‘I told you to never, ever tell me what to do - and what do you know? You’re doing it right now!’

T.J groaned and massaged his forehead with the tips of his fingers. ‘Grace, please. Would you just listen to me?’

My anger had almost completely evaporated, and it was only then that I realized that people around us were staring, no doubt trying to get the latest gossip on T.J Becker and Grace Tulden. With a huff, I sat back down on the bench and glared at him. ‘Fine.’

‘If it’ll stop you from going to Marc’s party,’ T.J said slowly, as if choosing his words carefully. ‘Then I won’t go either.’

I frowned and shuffled back onto the bench, and crossed my legs underneath me. ‘Why are you so desperate for me not to go to Marc’s party?’

He sighed - something I was beginning to get accustomed to. ‘Because…because there will be drugs there, and alcohol, and I can guarantee that you won’t be able to go into a room without finding two people having a go at it.’

‘’Having a go at it…?’ I trailed off with a frown. Then I got it, and I could feel my cheeks redden. ‘Oh.’

He managed a small smile. ‘Yeah. And anyway, I didn’t want to go, but if you are, then I will,’ the unspoken words ‘too protect you’ hung in the air. I felt touched.

‘Okay,’ I gave in. ‘I won’t go.’

He grinned, the first pure, sure sign of happiness that he had showed that day. ‘Okay. But we can do something together.’

I smiled. ‘I’d like that.’

T.J thought for a moment. Then his face brightened. ‘I know!’ he said. ‘We can go to Margie’s again,’

I grinned at the memory of the last time we had went to the diner.

‘Yeah,’ he said, now smiling that beautiful, angelic smile that I loved to see him wearing. ‘We can go to Margie’s, then maybe go see a movie and go back to my house?’ It was a question. He was actually asking my permission - something he would have never done had it been a month ago. I liked it. Probably more then I should have.

I grinned. ‘Sounds Awesome.’