Definitely Not Average - Chapter 25

This chapter is dedicated to Randommiss, and I listened to the song Gracie by Ben Folds right now as I post this article. So thanks, and I hope you like this chapter. =)
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I got the shock of my life when I come home on Thursday after school. My mother was in the kitchen. Humming. Cooking.

What. The. Hell?

‘Mom?’ I was alarmed, and my backpack that I had previously been holding fell to the ground.

She turned around from where she was standing behind the stove. ‘Oh, hi, sweetie,’ she smiled at me. ‘How was your day at school?’

All I could do was stare at her, dumbstruck. My mother was humming and cooking in the kitchen and now she was asking about my day. It was just too surreal to deal with. And the fact that she looked better than she had in four years only added to my bewilderment.

She stirred the pot of red sauce with a big wooden spoon. She looked amused. ‘Relax, hon. It was just a question.’

And what could I really say to that? ‘Oh, it was…it was…’ I fumbled for words. ‘Fine.’ I paused and added, ‘Thankyou.’ I couldn’t help but be polite; this mother that was exchanging niceties with me seemed completely alien.

She smiled. ‘Good.’

I realised that I should probably say something back, so I asked awkwardly, ‘And how, uh….how was your day at work?’

Her eyes lit up, and that smile that made her look so much younger widened. ‘Oh, it was great, sweetie. My boss, Paul, he’s just so nice! He made me feel right at home from the first day, and my colleagues, Sarah and Jane, they’re just wonderful and so friendly….’ She trailed off, sighing contentedly.

I know I should have felt happy for my mother, I really do. But some part of my insides tugged at her happy face. She neglected you for four years, Grace, my conscience whispered, and now Karma’s decided that she deserves to be happy after all she’s made you feel.. I shook myself out of those horrid, unhealthy thoughts and managed a tight smile. ‘That’s great, mom. I’m glad you’re happy.’ Liar.

She stirred the sauce some more. ‘Thanks, Gracie,’ she caught where I was looking and said, ‘Oh, you do like pasta, don’t you? I remember it being your favourite.’

My inner-demon raged inside me. That was before. Before you decided to be such a selfish bitch!. ‘Pasta’s fine, thankyou.’

‘Good.’ She looked uncomfortable for a moment, her mouth forming words she didn’t voice. But then she said quietly, her head bowed, ‘Grace, I know I haven’t….I know I haven’t been very good to you lately,’ Understatement. ‘But I promise that’s all going to change. I promise, Gracie.’

Promises mean nothing, I wanted to tell her coldly. You should know that better than anyone. ‘Okay, I said. ‘I…’ There was so much more I wanted to say. I wanted to tell her how much she’d hurt me, how much dad leaving had affected me, how much I wish she’d care when she didn’t, how, when I was fourteen, I would just curl up and cry on my bed, and how there were times in my life when I wanted to hurl myself off a cliff. But I was Grace Tulden. Completely silent. ‘Fine.’

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‘Ohmigod!’ ‘NO WAY – that is AWESOME!’ ‘Yeah, totally, it’s gonna be rockin’! ‘Oh, God, Tiff, the dress is GORGEOUS! It totally makes my boobs and butt look great!’ These were some of the first things I heard when I entered school on Friday, the last one being one of the most disturbing. Prom was approaching, in three weeks, to be exact, and all the girls, save for me and a couple of other people who weren’t going, were getting all hyped up on what they were going to wear, how they were going to do their hair, whether their ride would be a horse carriage or limo, etc. I could sort of see what the fuss was about, but I didn’t really feel any need to get that excited. Prom was a place where people got wasted, where affairs were revealed and tears were guaranteed. The bad overruled the good.

‘Grace!’ Someone squealed, and I turned around, alarmed, not used to have my name being called in such high, girlish tones, to find Liza Clarke clip-clopping over to me as fast as her three inch sandals could manage.

Liza and I were on good terms, and she was one of the few people out of T.J’s group of ‘friends’ who I knew was being sincere and genuinely friendly. It was a rare thing to find a Liza Clarke – popular and nice.

She looked pretty that day, as she always did, because, unlike some other populars I could name (*cough* Rachael *cough*), Liza never over did it. That day, she was wearing a light-blue, v-neck cotton sweater, with a black skirt that reached about two inches above the knee. She looked smart, professional – and undeniably attractive.

‘How are you?’ She said with a big smile, smoothing strands of her glossy dark hair with the tips of her manicured fingers.

‘Oh, I’m fine, thanks.’ I smiled at her. ‘And you?’

‘Oh, I’m great, thanks,’ she gushed. ‘And totally excited about the prom. It’s going to be amazing, don’t you think?’

Truthfully, I didn’t care. Out loud I said, ‘Oh, yeah. I’ve heard it’ll be awesome.’

‘Oh, it will,’ Her eyes lit up with excitement. ‘It’ll just be...oh, too amazing too describe! But I still haven’t got a dress!’ Her eyes turned wide. ‘And all the good ones will be taken when I finally get there! And, hey….we should go dress shopping – you and me, together!’

My heart lurched and I inwardly winced. I hated denying people things, but she’d find out about my decision sooner or later, so I sighed and said, ‘Sorry, I can’t. I’m not…I’m not going to the Prom.’

She gaped, her eyes and her gloss-covered lip wide. ‘What?!’ She said this so loud that many people standing by their lockers nearby turned around to stare curiously at us.

I shifted uncomfortably, moved my backpack further up my shoulder. ‘Yeah, I’m not going.’

‘But you have to go!’

I had to stop from rolling my eyes. ‘No, I don’t. And besides, I’ve never wanted to go to prom.’ This was a lie. When I was young and naïve and completely besotted with all thing girly, I would dream of my perfect prom, with a big, puffy pink ball gown that reached the floor. I especially dreamed of my prince charming sweeping me off my feet. But, like I said, I was young and naïve and stupid and…well, I was the typical girl that was stuck in limbo with adolescence.

Liza pursed her lips. ‘Oh, come on, Grace. It’ll be fun. And we could have such a good time!’

I shook my head. ‘Sorry, no. But if you want, I’ll come dress shopping with you to help you pick one you like.’

She looked disappointed for a moment, but then her expression cleared and a grin spread across her face as my words sank in. ‘Really?’

It felt nice to have someone appreciate the thought of my company. I smiled and nodded.

‘Thanks!’ She squealed, and before I knew it, she had flung her arms around me, and the smell of her very, very strong perfume (honestly, did she use the whole bottle???) was choking me.

‘You’re welcome,’ I wheezed when she pulled back.

She grinned, said, ‘Okay, gotta go. Bye!’ and clip-clopped away.

I sighed and ran a hand through my hair – what had I gotten myself into? – only to find people looking at me with curiosity when I looked up.

I glared at them and trudged to class.

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T.J wasn’t in that good of a mood when I quietly slid into my seat next to him for History. It’s not that he was snappy or grim or short-tempered that day, it’s just whenever I tried to talk to him, he would answer in monosyllables, in a quiet, tired voice.

I chewed on my lip. I desperately wanted to make whatever pain he was feeling better, but I just didn’t know how. The reason why is he seemed so dejected was quite clear to me – Megan. She was beautiful, smart. A true angel. She was his sister. What could I do? I couldn’t just sit back and pretended that nothing was wrong. I knew that I hated it when people did that to me.

And then I remembered myself, and how I had needed someone all those years. How I didn’t need word, or hugs, or even false sincerity and apologies. I just needed to know that someone was there. Someone there for me to fall back on, an illusion would have been just as good, too.

I took a deep breath and discreetly reached moved my hand underneath the table and tentatively touched T.J’s palm. He turned to look at me curiously, and I slid my hand in his. He gave me a small smile, his eyes warming. ‘Thankyou,’ he whispered.

I squeezed his hand.

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‘Hey,’ T.J said, ‘Wanna come to my house tomorrow after school?’

We were in school, sitting on a lunch bench. Not many people sat on the other benches that surrounded us, but the ones that did didn’t stare much. People were getting used to our ‘freakish relationship’ – as I had heard a girl describe it as I walked by – and merely glanced at us for a little over two seconds before turning away and continuing with whatever conversation we were having before.

Rachael was not so easy. It soon became clear that her façade of sweetness that day after T.J had broke up on her was just fake, as she now fumed and stormed away whenever she saw us together, but not looking like she wanted to murder me with a chainsaw first. But I didn’t care. And that was the honest truth. I really didn’t care. And neither did T.J.

I groaned and buried my face in my hands. ‘I can’t,’ the words were muffled by my skin.

If I could have seen T.J, I’m sure he would have been frowning that cute frown that made me want to reach out my hand and smooth the creases away. ‘Why not?’

I looked up, squinting slightly as the afternoon sun hit my face. ‘I’m going shopping.’

T.J looked amazed. ‘Shopping? You? With who?’

I pouted. ‘Liza.’

T.J shook his head in amusement, and I shifted slightly closer to his radiating body warmth. ‘Prepare to feel the urge to go and jump off the bridge.’

I stared miserably at the wooden lunch bench that we sat on. ‘I’m already prepared.’

‘Why are you two going shopping anyway?’ One problem I had with speaking with T.J was the fact that I could just not keep my eyes off his lips. They were so smooth and plump and pink and juicy–

‘Grace?’

I snapped out of my hopeless fantasies. ‘Huh?’

T.J gave me a funny look. ‘I said – why are you two going shopping anyway?’

I blushed. ‘Well, I’m not actually going shopping per se, I’m just helping Liza fin her prom dress.’

And there it was, that thing that happened with his eyes like a blind shuttering closed. ‘You Okay?’ I asked with a frown. I never knew what I did to make him go like that.

‘Fine.’

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‘Oh, this is going to be so much fun!’ Liza squealed.

I can’t say that I agreed with her on that one. We were in a village in Beck Valley, which was about a half hour away from where I lived. I had met up with Liza at a nearby train station, and we had made our journey there with Liza gushing about how excited she was. The village was, according to Liza, ‘absolutely gorgeous and perfect, even better ‘cause all those horrible little bloodsuckers probably don’t know about it’. And it was true, the village was very small and very discreet. It looked like a Victorian town had been preserved or something, looked more like the place to hold thousands and dozens of hundred-year-old books.

But, surprisingly enough, Liza led me to a small shop with a door with a bell on top that rang when we entered. The lady that sat behind the counter eyed us with a both pleased and curious expression. She probably didn’t get a lot of customers.

Liza smiled at the woman, and I did, too, and she grinned at us and said, ‘If you need any help, any help at all, I’ll be right here.’

We thanked her and looked around the shop. There wasn’t a doubt about it; the dresses in there were beautiful. It was a small shop, so most would have assumed that it held only a few dresses. But that was most definitely not true. Cocktail dress, evening dresses, bridesmaid dressed and, of course, prom dress were piled and hanging everywhere. It was every girls dream.

Liza looked around the shop in wonder, and I, too, couldn’t help but be amazed. The girls at school were missing out on a lot.

‘I just don’t know where to start!’ Liza squeaked.

Neither did I. ‘Well,’ I tried. ‘Maybe you should pick the colour you want, then try on the dresses in there,’ I inclined my head to the changing room tucked away behind a long curtain.

Liza nodded. ‘Good idea.’

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Twenty-five minutes later, me and the lady from the counter who had asked us to call her Georgia were standing with a miserable-looking Liza. ‘It’s no use!’ she wailed. ‘None of them have that spark!’

I don’t what sort of spark she was looking for, but I can tell you that I thought she would have found it in the eight dresses she had tried on. They were all black and had, of course, all looked absolutely stunning on her. But Liza was convinced she wouldn’t look pretty enough for her boyfriend.

She was currently still dressed in a slinky, charcoal-coloured dress that reached just below mid-thigh, and Jewels were studded below the bust.

‘You look beautiful!’ Georgia exclaimed, looking stunned. She, like me, probably didn’t know how Liza could looked so depressed and yet still look so amazing.

Liza sniffed and said nothing.

Okay, Grace, time to say something. ‘Well,’ I said, and they both looked at me. ‘Your eyes are grey. Maybe you should try on grey dresses so they could, you know, bring out your eyes,’ I twisted uncomfortably under their unwavering stares on me, and Georgia breathed, ‘Brilliant!’

I glanced at Liza, and I grinned to see that she no longer looked so miserable. ‘Grace!’ She was excited. ‘Thankyou! It’ a perfect idea! Why don’t you go and pick me out the dress, seeming as you came up with it?’

Okay, maybe I came up with the idea, but when it actually came to dresses, I had no idea. ‘Oh,’ I said, beginning to regret my interference. ‘I don’t think that’s such a good idea –‘

‘Nonsense!’ Georgia smiled. ‘Go on, dear. Go and pick one out.’

I groaned inwardly and proceeded to look around the shop. There were very few grey dresses, and the ones they did have were mostly short, looked more like something a celebrity would wear on a porno film rather than one to wear to a respectable, memorable evening. I was close to giving up and telling them that I had come up with nothing, when my eyes skimmed over a somewhat dark, satin grey dress that was hiding behind a corner of dresses as if it didn’t want to be found. It was a beautiful dress, risky, too. It would suit very few people, of that I could tell. Jewels were encrusted along the top rim of the dress, and the straps that held together at the back were covered with them, too, and a circular, somewhat pointy jewelled badge bunched up the dress at the hip. I carefully picked it up and went to show Liza.

She screamed when she saw the dress, and it was worth everything to see her eyes light up in excitement like they did. ‘Oh, it’s beautiful,’ she grinned and turned to Georgia. ‘Don’t you think so?’

Georgia’s sparkly brown eyes were twinkling with pride. ‘It does, my dear, it does.’

She turned to me and flung her arms around my neck. ‘Thankyou, so, so much Grace.’

I smiled and awkwardly wrapped my arms around her waist. ‘Anytime.’ It felt good to know that I had made her happy.

Georgia laughed. ‘Come on, now, then, dear. Go and try it on.

Liza hurried to the changing room.

Five minutes later, she emerged, and my breath caught, and I wasn’t the only one. Liza looked stunning, absolutely fabulous. The dress hugged her curves, pinched in at the waist and flowed down to the floor. The jewels twinkled in the light, and the colour really did bring out her already bold eyes.

‘Wow,’ Georgia and I chorused.

Liza looked nervous. ‘Do I look Okay?’

I laughed. ‘Look in the mirror.’ I pointed to the mirror that hung beside the dressing room.

Liza turned around, and from her reflection in the mirror, I could see that her eyes had widened and her mouth had popped open. ‘Oh,’ she breathed. She ran shaky hand down the side of her dress sub-consciously, her eyes dazed. ‘I look like a princess.’

I don’t know why, but something inside of me tugged when I saw Liza standing there, looking beautiful. Sadness, maybe desperation? My natural teenage wants were colliding with my experiences, and it really didn’t feel good. It felt like I was an adult who had seen too much, who had missed out on so much, and yet was looking at other people get the things that she wanted. The feeling shouldn’t have surprised me, shouldn‘t have made me feel like I was going to cry, but it did.

Georgia smiled. ‘You do, indeed, dear. You do, indeed.’

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The dress didn’t even cost that much, considering how good it looked.

‘You have a wonderful night in that beautiful dress, dear.’ Georgia told Liza after we had paid.

Liza smiled. ‘Thanks. And also, thankyou so much for having this dress It’s…it’s amazing.’

‘You deserve it, love.’

And then we left.

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After Liza had thanked me a gazillion times, we departed ways, and as I was walking home from the train station, I got a call on my mobile phone. I slid it form out of my pocket and flipped it open. ‘Hello?’

‘Hey, Grace.’

I smiled, that familiar warmth burning inside of me at the sound of his voice. ‘Hey, T.J. What’s up?’

‘Nothing much. Just wondering if you finished shopping.’

‘Oh, yeah, we have. I’m on my way home now.’

‘Really?’ He sounded pleased. ‘Awesome. Mind if I come pick you up instead to come to my house?’

I grinned. ‘Sure.’

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I always liked his car. It was small and blue, but it was cosy and just completely T.J. He leaned across the passenger seat and opened the door for me on the side of the road.

I smiled. ‘Thanks.’ I looked at him, and until he did, I was unaware that I had been waiting with anticipation for that simple quirk of his lips.

‘So,’ he said as he drove straight. ‘Have fun?’

I considered that. ‘Yeah, I guess I did.’

He chuckled. ‘That’s be the day. Grace Tulden actually having fun shopping.’

I pouted and smacked his arms. ‘Hey, I’ll have you know that I absolutely love looking a multiple dresses.’

He shot me a sceptical look. ‘Yeah, of course, whatever you say.’

I laughed, already feeling at ease at the mere act of being in his presence.

He glanced at me and smiled, and I frowned when I realised he was pulling up on a kerb. ‘What are you doing?’

He slammed down the brake on his car and turned to me with a funny look on his face. ‘Sorry about this.’

My frown deepened. ‘About wh –?’

He grabbed my waist and pulled me to him, and his lips came down on mine. All thought immediately flew out of my head as his lips moulded around mine. I swung one of my legs around his hips so that I was straddling his hips and leaning against the steering wheel (trashy, and I knew it). One of the hands that held my head to his kept our lips securely melded, and his other hand curled around my back. My breathing started to accelerate wildly as his tongue stroked across my lips and demanded entrance. I obliged and his tongue slid into my mouth. I moaned. His lips then trailed to my neck, and I gasped his teeth bit softly down onto the skin there, and all I could think was T.J, T.J, T.J.

It would have gone on for a long time, and I don’t deny it. I loved the way he felt against me and I loved the way I sort of just…fit against him.

But then a couple of cars passing by started honking.

We jumped apart, the movement causing me to hit my back against the hard plastic of the steering wheel. We looked around us, startled, and I was absolutely mortified to remember that we were kissing in broad daylight and everyone could see us through the window! I wanted to curl up and die.

I looked up at T.J to see him looking down at me with an unfathomable expression. With a deep blush, I realised that I was still sitting on him. I scrambled off of him and sat back down on my own seat.

With a deep, shuddering breath, I realised that T.J Becker had just stopped his car in the middle of a road to kiss me.

He continued driving.