Deciding not to Have Children

The decision whether to have children or not should be taken only after a lot of thought has been given to it. It is not something that a couple can arrive at in a day. Having and raising children can be a very satisfying experience for some while for others it can be deeply harrowing. You will find some women who describe motherhood as "the best thing that ever happened to them" and on the other hand women who actually regret having kids, in spite of loving them immensely. A couple should discuss between them in detail why they do not want to start their family. There are numerous reasons why couples these days resort to family planning, as they do not want to have children. Below are some of the possible ones.

Reasons Not to Have Children

Professional Commitments
One of the main reasons why couples these days do not want to have children is that both the man and the woman, do not want to take a break from their profession to start and raise a family. Another professional reason could be long hours at work. With the couple rarely getting time to spend with each other, it is almost impossible to take time out for the children from one's busy schedule.

Time for Self
With most of the youngsters these days raised in nuclear families themselves, and having shifted out of their homes by the time they turned eighteen, a lot of changes in attitudes towards living one's life have taken place. Couples may instead want more of "me" time as individuals and "us" time as a unit. In that time for themselves, they like to indulge in activities that they enjoy such as reading books or volunteering or maybe going out and partying. With individuals wanting more and more time for themselves or to spend with their partners, the decision of not having kids comes easily to them.

Other Causes
Some idealistic women these days decide early on in life and adopt various birth control methods to avoid pregnancies, for a number of environmental and humanitarian reasons. They feel that there are already so many orphaned children who need their love and compassion, so why not care for them whenever one gets time rather than spending all the time with one's own children. Then there are women who are worried about the growing population and want to do their bit by not having children.

To Have Children or Not - Look at the Pros and Cons

A couple should first of all look at both the positives and negatives of having children, and then take their decision. First the positives - children are cute and with their innocence, laughter and sweet talk, they will make you fall in love with them. You will see that while parenting, there will be a sea of change in your personality. You will be more patient, responsible, in touch with yourself and perhaps start appreciating your parents some more. The kind of love your children will give you is unmatchable to what you have ever experienced.

The downside of having children is that, both during the pregnancy and after childbirth, you will find yourself neck deep in responsibilities, be it financial or otherwise. You will be changing diapers umpteen times in a day, waking up at two in the night, trying to put a crying baby to sleep, losing your own sleep time in the process. With so much going around and couples not finding time for each other due to the baby's arrival, there is a possibility that the relationship between the two of you might get affected. There will be less money, lesser time and more laundry to handle, leaving very little free time for both of you. And this is not all, couples who choose not to have children, have more freedom to change careers or change partners at a later stage in life. But once children are born, taking such decisions might not be easy.

For women, there might be a lot of pressure from friends and family to rethink. And it's not just others, the woman herself might be confused over this issue, having been fed with statements like, "motherhood completes a woman" or "a woman relives her childhood through her children". It's not that these statements do not apply to women. For some they might be true, but whether you agree with them or not or how much importance you give to them, that will help you in making your final decision.