Dealing with Peer Pressure

"Nature made us individuals, as she did the flowers and the pebbles; but we are afraid to be peculiar, and so our society resembles a bag of marbles, or a string of mold candles. Why should we all dress after the same fashion? The frost never paints my windows twice alike. ~ Lydia Maria Child

The above quote regarding peer pressure reminds me of the value of preserving ones individuality, in a world where everyone is trying to imitate someone or the other. It is this trend of society that makes it absolutely difficult for teenagers and parents to deal with peer pressure. Dealing with peer pressure in middle school or in high school becomes even more difficult because teenagers are in a malleable age and they can be easily persuaded and influenced by what they see happening around them. While positive peer pressure leads to healthy competition, growth and development amongst teenagers, negative peer pressure can cause a host of problems that may range from anywhere like lack of focus in academics to falling in the trap of unhealthy habits.

How to Combat Peer Pressure
According to experts, children during the age group 11 to 15 years are in a very sensitive age and even their bodies experience several hormonal changes. Not only adolescents start thinking about their individuality but they also resist any interference from parents and elders in their activities. Their ideas of liberty and freedom form the center of their life and they want to experience everything without any limitations. Peer pressure stems in many forms and it can be right from choosing a dress, same as another classmate or wanting to have ear piercing and wear a tattoo just like another friend. Although, such influences are harmless and last for relatively short period of time, there can be several negative influences. For example, sex is one area where teens face extreme pressure from their friends. Bullying and teasing an adolescent who does not have a girlfriend or is still 'virgin' is quite commonly heard in college premises. Similarly, many teens fall in the trap of smoking, consuming alcohol and taking drugs owing to peer pressure.

Be Friends
Let me tell you that by being friends with your kids, I don't mean that you give your kids so much freedom that they start taking you for granted. You can treat your kids as friends, share with them your own stories (at the right moment and right time) and teach them life values. It is better to impose healthy restrictions but don't put a ban ongoing outside home or other similar restrictions. That will throw negative impression and it is not a healthy way to prevent peer pressure.

As parents, fix a timing within which your child must return home or if he or she is not returning, you must be informed about the same. Once or twice in a week, it is good to give them freedom to stay late in a party and enjoy. You can also talk about ill effects of smoking and alcohol. Quote by example that how unhealthy these habits can be, if one is addicted to them. Moreover, live as an example and even if you're not smoking in front of them and are living a frugal life, you will be able to create a positive impact on your kids. Even older siblings can be a great help in inspiring teenagers to follow good role models.

Don't Panic
The situation worsens if parents try to put excess control on their kids. When dealing with peer pressure, parents must not panic, as it is just a part and parcel of growing up. You must stop worrying on trivial issues like coloring hair or wearing flashy clothes, as teenage is the time when children are not so matured to understand what exactly they're doing. As they grow into adults, they will gradually dress and behave in a more refined manner. Moreover, don't scrutinize each and every step of teenagers, as this is the age when they're forming their own beliefs and identity. They must after all, experience and understand truth behind right and wrong. Gradually, as they advance into adulthood, they'll become responsible. Don't think, you'll lose them or they won't understand you ever. It is just a matter of time that they find peer pressure activities irresistible. Once they understand more about life, they will return to your ideas, values and beliefs.

While statistics related to peer pressure are certainly shocking, it is not impossible to deal with it. Generally, teenagers fall for negative influences owing to lack of self-confidence, and hence it is important for parents to inculcate good values in them. Since there are both sides of the coin, dealing with peer pressure must not be a great problem for parents. They can focus on positive aspects and in the meanwhile provide adequate environment for the teenagers to feel confident about themselves.