Dealership Dilemma

1
I am walking down 152nd street with a bitter taste in my mouth and a head full of profanities. I am walking because I have to, not because I love the fresh air or I am trying to burn a few calories I wish that were the case. I turn around and look the opposite way I am walking and sadly I can still see the smoldering beast I used to proudly call my car. It sits there by the sidewalk smoke flying into the sky with headlights still flashing at me calling me back with false promises of reliability.

"Sorry you old bitch its about time I move on" I say to myself as I continue my walk.

As I am walking I look at all the new and polished cars drive by glimmering paint and polished rims shinning in the late afternoon fading light I’m not sure but I would assume the moon would even shine on such machines while mine smokes and screams for my attention far behind me.

2
By this time the sun is far-gone and the moon is high in the sky grinning its evil grin down on me and yet I am still very far from home. I reach an intersection and all the lights are out in all the stores as far as the eyes can see. Way in the distance I can see a glimmer of hope that I’m not in a ghost town, a light shines far in the distance. I quicken my pace and the light not only gets brighter but many more lights emerge high in the sky yet I still can’t tell what it could possibly be. The night has become very dark now and the only safe passage I can see is a tunnel of light sucking me in the direction of this mysterious place. I am approaching this great place of mystery a place that I have never seen before. There are cars lined up facing out into the street smiling and greeting me with their massive grills. The towering lights I saw earlier are protruding out of this gigantic auto mall. I read out loud a long white banner with words written in red above the entrance.

"AFTER HOURS DEALERSHIP NO MONEY DOWN AND NO CREDIT CHECKS"

3
I enter the dealership very skeptical of their banner they will say anything to get you in their office. I start browsing around just for fun hoping no one will notice my presents. A brand new car mint condition and no price tag I start looking around and notice there are no price tags anywhere.

"What the hell, how are you supposed to decide with no prices not everyone is made of money especially not me" I say to myself kind of hoping someone would hear me so I could vent my frustration and to my surprise someone did.

4
"Hello their young sir, see anything that you might be interested in?"

I could tell just by the sound of his voice he was a car salesman and throwing me his most rehearsed pitch, repetitive but works is most likely what he is thinking.

"Its hard to tell because there are no prices on anything how am I supposed to decide I am not made of money you know"

"Well why don’t you pick something you desire and we will go from there," He grins his wicked smile at me showing his snagle teeth a kind of smile no man could ever trust but I played along anyway.

I immediately point at the first car that catches my eye knowing it is far beyond my price range.

"Ahhh good choice we just got that one in maybe we can get you off your feet and driving home tonight what would you say to that young sir"

"I will be highly surprised if you could make that happen tonight," I say back to him in a rude disbelieving way.

"Its not up to me its all up to how bad you really want that beautiful vehicle out there"

5
I follow the man into the dealerships main offices and as I do a man in a wheelchair slips out of the door right after me.

"Do you guys sell vehicle for the physically disabled?"

"Of course my lad that is our main source of income surprised?"

"A little" I say very timidly

I enter a room marked Mr. Ferguson and sit down in a chair across from his own.

"I am sorry sir but I have no money to offer you I am sorry to waste your time but you did kind of drag me in here"

"Let me ask you something son how are your kidneys?"

"What do my kidneys have to do with me getting a car what kind of place is this?"

"We understand that a lot of people have a hard time getting a vehicle these days and we simple offer a alternative method of payment have you ever heard the saying it costs a arm and a leg we literally mean that"

"So let me ask you again how bad do you want this car?"

I pondered on this along time you may be surprised that I am even questioning such a thing a kidney or some other ligament is in a way kind of a small price to pay for something I will never be able to afford. In my pondering state I looked around the room seeing people leaving their private offices with less then they came in with or are they leaving with more I guess it depends on how you look at it. Scars will heal and I can live with one less kidney if I give him a few fingers he will even throw in a nice warranty and even a few toes I can have some nice rims. I can’t wait to see my friend’s faces they are going to be so jealous.

6
I pull out of the secluded dealership grinning ear to ear. I drive around all night late into the night all the while the hideous moon’s grin reflecting off the hood of my new car.
I pull into a nearby gas station to fill up before heading home.

"Fill up on number 3 please" I say to the gas station attendant still grinning ear to ear but I feel less comfortable out side my car still with dry blood on my hands and shirt.

"Yes sir and how will you be paying young lad?" the attendant replies back to me

"I’m short on fingers do you accept bodily fluids?"