"Daughter"
Flow of emotions from being a daughter to becoming a mother.
It has been awhile I am thinking to write on this topic. This word might not be that inviting or probably might not be that fascinating. But the challenges it gives and the center of web it can be to tell you about few facts. I was inspired to write with what I, personally, went through on Mother's day.
Exactly, a relation given when a girl is born, she grows up to be a mother and then gives birth to a daughter and so what's so extra in this ordinary statement. That's exactly what I want to discuss here.
A short time ago, I got call early morning from bro saying the John, our once so-called service boy at home. He was everything but just a servant, he was added and most wanted family member out of six members of the family. He was more than a servant at the home. He did spend more than 15 years with us, and for me he was my brother.
So my bro said, John is helpless and needs money as his newborn child is suffering from condition where in the heart has hole in it. He doesn't have money and needs help. Boy!!! The whole conversation was so emotional that in spite of me not having seen him in a while brought tears to me. And all the while during the conversation I am thinking is mother not supposed to take care of this. I mean with dad earning a bracket salary, is mother not supposed to take care of this. With that thought I gave her a call and the conversation made me realize it's okay to be harsh and hard-hearted....... It's OK that the extent to which she dose care doesn't allow her to bother enough and the generation she belongs whatever she does doesn't have to be approved by any other relation. I mean as "MOTHER", she tired explaining how john in spite of all his devotion and duties has not done enough for them, to care and bother. She tried explaining how his 15 and more years of stay can be calculated to justify whatever little she did for him in the condition was more than enough. The worse happened, when I kept on begging for his number and she kept denying to give. I had to literally cry for it and was finally rescued by my DAD. He happened to give me the number and hence John was bailed out of his condition. And till date I am wondering what kind of mother at this age, yes, I am mother too, makes her daughter cry for anything. Can I do the same, I mean can our generation treat our kids with the same policy with which our parents treat "US"...and for sure the answer is "NO".
This happened exactly a day before Mother's day. With all TV ads and universe talking about how mother's are great how mother's heart is always full of mercy and love, I was split in two, whether to forget everything and go ahead pick up the phone and wish her "Happy mother's Day".....either which ways, I tried doing but couldn't, this is not the first time a mother daughter, as also in my case would we have the difference of opinion among ourselves but how at times it becomes difficult to keep one self and one's relation apart from each other. Because the processing center of each incident is the same heart and brain, it's obvious it will get tangled. Today's daughters leaves their mother, that's the home at very tender age. They move out leave their own life all they have is the tenderness and memories of the days they were together. Doesn't that make mothers to take the extra step of listening, "just" being there showing them right and wrong and leaving up to them to choose. From culture to whom to talk and whom to avoid has to be forced. I always wonder what as a daughter do I carry in terms of virtues that I can pass to my daughter. This is not my issue alone, I happen to speak about it to my friends and they all have same thought.
A mother has so much to give to a daughter in terms of actions, virtues and strength. For ex: when I see or hear my daughter being scolded or she getting treat wherein her self-respect or her innocence is at stake, I call her and tell her that nobody on this earth has right to suppress her . She can very politely approach opposite person and tell them her opinion and make her point. As in very common case of people pulling her cheeks for fun or in love. I tell her to stop others and tell them very politely not to do it again as it hurts.
On the same note when she tells me that somebody like her friends did hit her or if her friends for fun kick each other I tell her how important it is not to touch each other and how to respect one's body. I try telling her violence and shouting is not the solution a same time I teach her how she unique she is and how important it is that she has to be respected by all and nobody should take her for granted. I try telling her that she has to handle her situations and learn. Though I will always be there for her but consequences of her action will be solely borne by her because that is how GOD has made all of us. These are the small but important lessons a mother has to pass on for toddler daughter and as she grows up she has to be treated like an important and unique identity. A mother and daughter relation has to be beyond calculation and responsibility of getting her married and then closing the chapter. This relation should be warm and hearty. The relation should have that little "extra" closeness that each other 's events and emotions could be predicted. I feel this the only relation which shares the same life clock and same cushion and destiny to life because sons once born are different ball game in all. That's the reason I feel when two females come together in such a splendid relation, irrespective of the age. Should mingle in so well and understand each other so well that probably a milestone could be created in relation which should then be standard for all other relations. At least one relation and gender of human being could be brought to perfection if this basic relation of mother and daughter is worked out and lived pretty well......with that little extra understanding, with mothers being extra open both in terms of mind and actions. With that little window in insecurity being shut......a full circle could be reached in this unique relation of mother and daughter and somewhere, I feel , after that perfection could be imbibed by the rest of the world, and hence be better place to live.
* Please discuss your view on this topic.
Exactly, a relation given when a girl is born, she grows up to be a mother and then gives birth to a daughter and so what's so extra in this ordinary statement. That's exactly what I want to discuss here.
A short time ago, I got call early morning from bro saying the John, our once so-called service boy at home. He was everything but just a servant, he was added and most wanted family member out of six members of the family. He was more than a servant at the home. He did spend more than 15 years with us, and for me he was my brother.
So my bro said, John is helpless and needs money as his newborn child is suffering from condition where in the heart has hole in it. He doesn't have money and needs help. Boy!!! The whole conversation was so emotional that in spite of me not having seen him in a while brought tears to me. And all the while during the conversation I am thinking is mother not supposed to take care of this. I mean with dad earning a bracket salary, is mother not supposed to take care of this. With that thought I gave her a call and the conversation made me realize it's okay to be harsh and hard-hearted....... It's OK that the extent to which she dose care doesn't allow her to bother enough and the generation she belongs whatever she does doesn't have to be approved by any other relation. I mean as "MOTHER", she tired explaining how john in spite of all his devotion and duties has not done enough for them, to care and bother. She tried explaining how his 15 and more years of stay can be calculated to justify whatever little she did for him in the condition was more than enough. The worse happened, when I kept on begging for his number and she kept denying to give. I had to literally cry for it and was finally rescued by my DAD. He happened to give me the number and hence John was bailed out of his condition. And till date I am wondering what kind of mother at this age, yes, I am mother too, makes her daughter cry for anything. Can I do the same, I mean can our generation treat our kids with the same policy with which our parents treat "US"...and for sure the answer is "NO".
This happened exactly a day before Mother's day. With all TV ads and universe talking about how mother's are great how mother's heart is always full of mercy and love, I was split in two, whether to forget everything and go ahead pick up the phone and wish her "Happy mother's Day".....either which ways, I tried doing but couldn't, this is not the first time a mother daughter, as also in my case would we have the difference of opinion among ourselves but how at times it becomes difficult to keep one self and one's relation apart from each other. Because the processing center of each incident is the same heart and brain, it's obvious it will get tangled. Today's daughters leaves their mother, that's the home at very tender age. They move out leave their own life all they have is the tenderness and memories of the days they were together. Doesn't that make mothers to take the extra step of listening, "just" being there showing them right and wrong and leaving up to them to choose. From culture to whom to talk and whom to avoid has to be forced. I always wonder what as a daughter do I carry in terms of virtues that I can pass to my daughter. This is not my issue alone, I happen to speak about it to my friends and they all have same thought.
A mother has so much to give to a daughter in terms of actions, virtues and strength. For ex: when I see or hear my daughter being scolded or she getting treat wherein her self-respect or her innocence is at stake, I call her and tell her that nobody on this earth has right to suppress her . She can very politely approach opposite person and tell them her opinion and make her point. As in very common case of people pulling her cheeks for fun or in love. I tell her to stop others and tell them very politely not to do it again as it hurts.
On the same note when she tells me that somebody like her friends did hit her or if her friends for fun kick each other I tell her how important it is not to touch each other and how to respect one's body. I try telling her violence and shouting is not the solution a same time I teach her how she unique she is and how important it is that she has to be respected by all and nobody should take her for granted. I try telling her that she has to handle her situations and learn. Though I will always be there for her but consequences of her action will be solely borne by her because that is how GOD has made all of us. These are the small but important lessons a mother has to pass on for toddler daughter and as she grows up she has to be treated like an important and unique identity. A mother and daughter relation has to be beyond calculation and responsibility of getting her married and then closing the chapter. This relation should be warm and hearty. The relation should have that little "extra" closeness that each other 's events and emotions could be predicted. I feel this the only relation which shares the same life clock and same cushion and destiny to life because sons once born are different ball game in all. That's the reason I feel when two females come together in such a splendid relation, irrespective of the age. Should mingle in so well and understand each other so well that probably a milestone could be created in relation which should then be standard for all other relations. At least one relation and gender of human being could be brought to perfection if this basic relation of mother and daughter is worked out and lived pretty well......with that little extra understanding, with mothers being extra open both in terms of mind and actions. With that little window in insecurity being shut......a full circle could be reached in this unique relation of mother and daughter and somewhere, I feel , after that perfection could be imbibed by the rest of the world, and hence be better place to live.
* Please discuss your view on this topic.
Post Comment
