Dating Rules for Single Moms

So, you are a single mom who wants to enter the dating scene again? It is very easy, almost as easy as it was when you were single, without the responsibility of a child or an unsuccessful relationship behind you, provided you affirm yourself mentally everyday that you are as capable of having fun or finding your true love, whatever that is you wish to achieve through dating, as any other woman. As a single mom, there must be lots of questions going through your mind like is it all right to date or should I tell my kids that I am dating or should I introduce my dates to my kids, etc. To help you deal with these common dilemmas that most single mothers find themselves in, at some point or the other, here are some useful dating rules.

Look for a Partner, not a Dad for Kids
This is perhaps the most important of single mom dating tips. Many single mothers, when they go out on dates, instead of looking for a man whom they feel attracted to or share some kind of chemistry with, start looking for qualities which will make them good dads. Although there is no harm if the man actually possesses such qualities, yet it cannot be the starting point of dating or knowing someone. Just remember the time when you first started dating, you must have gone out with people you liked or were attracted to, irrespective of what they were or what they had. Do the same thing now. Just follow your instincts and if something has to happen it will. If you date thinking about things such as "Will he be good to my kids?", "Is he responsible enough to be a dad?", you will be losing out on the fun part of dating, which is very important, especially if you are entering the dating scene after a long gap.

Strike a Balance between "Me Time" and "Kids Time"
Give equal time to both the man you are dating as well as your kids. As a single mother, you have to sometimes fill in for both mom as well as dad. So, making it a point to shower enough attention on your children that they do not feel neglected in any way is essential. If you have to someday choose between your kids' soccer game and a date, opting for the former will bring you closer to your kids and make them feel loved. This however, in no way means that you have to sacrifice every time. Pay equal attention to yourself and your other relationships as well. For example, when on a date, avoid calling your kids. If your kids make a scene or start crying when you go on dates, explain it to them very politely that it is all right for you to go out with someone. At the same time, tell them many times that you love them and just like they have friends, you too can have friends. Read more on dating a single mom.

Let the Relationship Progress Naturally
All single mothers are confused whether to introduce the men they are dating to their kids. To allay such confusions, do not bring home every guy you date as it can sometimes get very perplexing for growing children. Wait for a while, till at least the initial attraction has translated into something concrete or till the time you decide to date each other exclusively. If the relationship has progressed to this level, introduce the man in your life to your kids. Keep very little expectations as it is not necessary that the kids will like your guy instantly or the guy himself will be hands on and immediately start sharing the responsibility of your kids with you. Your kids may even resent that now they have to share you with this new guy. So, keep communication with your kids and your beau open and give everyone time to get accustomed to the new situation.

Communicate in case of a Break-up
It is not necessary that all single mom relationships will be successful. You might enter into a serious relationship with someone, bring him home, introduce him to your kids and just when the kids start liking him and get used to him around, you might have some other thoughts about the relationship. In such a case, explain to the kids that you are going to break up and that he will be longer a part of your family. The kids can take it to heart, so at this point explaining to them that changes are part and parcel of life and that you will love them forever and will be a constant in their life, irrespective of who comes and leaves, will help.

When it comes to dating and relationships there are no rules. Just go with the flow. If you want to be casual about dating - do that, if you want to take it seriously and want to settle down - do that, if you want to keep it sexual, you are free to do that too, after all it is your life and you have the opportunity to live it just once.