Darkness Closing

Why is it others find solace in sleep,
And I stare up at this plain ceiling?
While they are off in their deep,
I cannot shake this terrible feeling.

Maybe it’s not terrible at all,
But a constant thought process.
Every time my minds stalls,
Its there surrounding all.

It’s like a black void,
Having not a thought or soul.
Yet it is not devoid,
For I am filled with a deep sorrow.

I know not where it comes from,
Its just there around me.
A feeling of intense blue,
That wells up inside me.

They say tears tainted with red,
Show our intense pain.
But after all this time,
The only color I see is in the rain.

The only tears you could see me cry,
Come from wounds hidden from view.
So tired am I of trying,
That others would wish they were dying.

But what would be the use?
For than others would share the pain,
That I have always felt.

The pain of others’ passing,
Of seeing their wooden boxes passing.
Of knowing the pain their families will go through,
When they see their loved one passing.

We are here of a greater accord,
Giving up our lives for the greater good.
Yet others sit at home,
And bash the work we are doing.

But through it all I sit,
The stars at last fading.
The moon ceasing its glow,
As the sun’s rays begin casting.

But through it all I fear,
That one night there will be only one thought to see.
And that thought will not be their smiling faces,
But the pain that wells up inside of me.

For through it all I can hear,
The soft footsteps in the night.
The sound that begins beckoning,
Of the darkness closing in.