Dark or Light?---(Chapter 1. Part 2)

Chapter 1. Part 2

*****Five weeks later******

Lucus and I have not been separated from each other since New Years. We have been together all day and either staying at each other’s houses, which was convenient because he lived literally across the road from me. It was a Saturday and Jess and Mitch were over my house as well as Lucus. Except Lucus was looking a little down but I didn’t think much of it.

"I’m hungry." Jess exclaimed.
"Your always hungry." I replied. Jess stuck her tongue out, at me. I smiled.
"Well anyway I want pizza. Mitch you want to come with me?"
"Of course babe!" Mitch replied. Oh yeah I forgot to mention that they hooked up on New Years Eve. A deal’s, a deal. They got up and left. Leaving me and Lucus alone. I turn to him.

"So what are you in the mood for?" I whispered seductively. He suddenly gets up and walks towards the door. I grab his arm. "Lucus, what’s wrong?" I’m suddenly worried- scratch that- I’m scared.
"I’m going away for a while Izzy and I don’t know when I’ll be back." I could feel the tears start to well up in my eyes.
"What do you mean?" He turns to face me.
"I want you to know how much I love you. You will never forget that okay. Promise me you won’t forget that."
"I promise but Lucus just tell me what’s going on." The tears are falling uncontrollably over my eyes. He kissed me long and hard.
"This isn’t your fault." And with that he walks out the door.

I want to move. I want to chase after him but I can’t. My feet are glued to the ground. I don’t how long I stood there for but Jess and Mitch walk through the door. They see the tears on my face and Jess runs to me.

"Izzy? Izzy what’s wrong?" She asks frantic.
"Its Lucus. He said he was leaving. He told me he was leaving. Did you know about this? Did you guys know he was leaving?" My voice had reached a few octaves higher.
"No. I had know idea!" Jess says.
"He couldn’t of left. His car is still in the drive way and besides that isn’t Lucus. He wouldn’t just leave like that." Mitch said.
"Come on lets go get this straightened out." Jess said. I nodded my head and we walked out the door towards Lucus's house. We walked up to the door and knocked but no one answered. We knocked again. I was starting to get jumpy now.
"See know one is home." I said.
"Just try the door. He might not of heard us." Jess said opening the door.
"Guys I don’t think this is right. I think this is called breaking an entering." Mitch said. Jess just rolled her eyes and walked in. I followed suit and so did Mitch.
"LUCUS!" I yell but know one answers. I walk up the staircase and begin to walk towards his room. The door is shut so I knock on it.
"Lucus, its me. Please open up. Please. I don’t want you to leave me. Please Lucus!"
"Maybe we should just leave him alone." Mitch said. I just looked at him. "Or not." I knock again.
"Lucus I’m coming in."

I open the door slowly. I gasp. My whole world shatters and my mind seems to have disconnected from my body. I fall to my knees at what I see. Lucus is on his bed surrounded by his blood. I start to hyperventilate. Jess walks in and she screams.
"OH MY GOD!" Dave yells.
"CALL 911!" Jess screams.

Through all the screaming endless tears start to fall from my eyes as I realize that he is gone. Lucus is dead. My Lucus! My world seems to disappear. My heart begins to break as I realize what this all means. I won’t be able to hear his laugh or see his smile. I won’t be able to kiss him or make love to him. I won’t be able to see his beautiful face light up when he see’s watches his favorite TV show or listen to his favorite song. I need him! I need him! It kept on repeating in my head. Suddenly two arms wrap themselves around me. I look up to see a police officer lifting me up and taking me away from him.
"NO!" I scream. I jump out of his embrace and run towards Lucus’s room.
"WAKE UP LUCUS! PLEASE! I WANT YOU TO WAKE UP! PLEASE LUCUS! DON’T DO THIS TO ME! PLEASE!" I scream. The police officer drags me downstairs. NO! I thought. I NEED HIM TO WAKE UP! I NEED HIM TO TELL ME IT WAS ALL A JOKE! I NEED HIM TO TELL ME THAT HE LOVES ME ONE MORE TIME! I NEEDED THAT!
"Please wake up Lucus! Please!" I whispered.

The officer sat me in his car. My tears had stopped and all I could feel was numbness. He talked to me about it but I didn’t listen. All I could think about was how much I needed him. He was the reason I lived every day and now I have nothing.

"Who are you?" The officer asked.
"I’m her mother." My mum replied. I looked up at her. She kneeled in front of me.
"He’s dead mum. He’s really dead."
"I know sweetie. I’m so sorry." New tears start to fall and I latch onto her for dear life.

The officer took me, Mitch and Jess to the police station to give statements. Once I was done, I left the room and saw Jess and Mitch standing there. I ran to them and we hugged each other so tightly that we couldn’t breathe but it didn’t matter. After a while we all pulled apart from each other and we went back to our house. When we got home I ran up the stairs to my room and locked the door. I looked around at everything and it all reminded me of him. There were pictures everywhere and his shirt was still on my bed. I grabbed it. It still smelled like him. He wore this cheap musky cologne that reminded me lemon’s. I always teased him about it. I tried to smile about it but I couldn’t. Instead I just undressed and put on his shirt. It made me feel like he was there. His arms wrapped around me. That night become the worst night of my life and one that I will never forget. I cried myself to sleep.

I spent the next three weeks in bed. My mother would come in every so often but I didn’t want to look at her or anyone I just wanted to sleep and never wake up. Mitch and Jess would visit me everyday. They wouldn’t say anything though which I liked. They would just lay there with me. Sometimes we would cry but we didn’t talk. We didn’t have to. We all knew what the other was feeling.
After the third week I decided that I should get up and go downstairs. My mother has been beginning me to do so for the past two weeks. When I came downstairs I saw an old man and woman in the kitchen. It surprised me but not enough to show it. I walked in.

"Izzy baby! Your up." My mother came over and hugged me. I tightened her embrace. I pulled back.
"Mum who are they." I spoke for the first time in what felt like forever. My voice was scratchy from all the crying I had been doing.
"These are…your grandparents." They looked at me with that look that I have been getting for the past three weeks. The, OH-THE-POOR-CHILD, look.
"Hello. Its nice to meet you Isabell." The man said. I raised my eyebrows.
"Nice? Nice? Right. Yeah because you would care wouldn’t you?"
"Izzy." My mother said.
"No. If you think I am going to be nice to the people who have disowned us you are seriously mistaken!" I yelled.
"Watch your tone young lady." The lady said.
"No I will not watch my tone! Who invited you anyway! You shouldn’t be here! I don’t want you here!"
"I’m sorry mum, dad."
"Why are you defending them?!" I screamed at her.
"Izzy please stop. Please. "
"Why?"
"Because we are going to be spending the next few months with them."
"WHAT!?" I screamed. "NO! MUM YOU CAN’T TAKE ME AWAY! NO! I CAN’T LEAVE LUCUS! I CAN’T!" Tears started to fall from my mother’s eyes.
"Oh sweetie. Lucus isn’t here anymore. Please I just want you to get better."
"AND YOU THINK SENDING ME AWAY IS GOING TO HELP ME!?"
"Please baby. Please. You have know idea how it is hurt me to see you in that bed every day and night! I don’t want to see you hurting anymore! Please Izzy. Please just try it for me please!" She begged me.

I could see the pain in her eyes and I wanted to care about it. I really do but I couldn’t. I could feel myself slipping and falling fast. A part of me wanted to climb out of it but the other half just wanted to stay were I was. Rock bottom because I wouldn’t have to worry about failing.
After a few more hours of my mother begging through my door I agreed to go because it would get her off my back. I went back down stairs and apologized to my grandparents even though I didn’t mean it. It seems they really wanted to meet me but they didn’t know how to come about it. I luckily saw straight through their bullshit and just saw the guilt that consumed them like the darkness that was now consuming me.

That’s where I am now. Packing all my things in a suitcase. I grabbed all my clothes, not really caring what I put in there just as long as it was wearable. Then I found it. Lucus’s Ipod. He always had it with him. He was music obsessed. He constantly wanted me to listen to a new song. He had an 80GB one with at least 9000 songs on it. I grabbed it and stuck it in my pocket. When I was done I grabbed all my things and walked downstairs to see Jess and Mitch standing there.

"Hey." Mitch said. I could see Jess was crying. I dropped my suitcase and ran up to her and held her tightly.
"I’m going to miss you so much." Jess said.
"Me too." I replied.
"Write me okay. Write me long letters." I pulled back from her.
"Okay." I kissed her cheek. I pulled Mitch in a tight embrace. I felt his tears soak my shirt.
"I’m so sorry Izzy. If only I saw it…" He trailed off. Tears were threatening in my eyes.
"We all missed it Mitch." I kissed his cheek and picked up my suitcase. "I’ll be seeing you." That’s what Lucus used to say. He hated the word goodbye. He said it was too permanent. I walked out to the car and through in all my things. My grandparents had already left so my mother and I were driving up to their house. Maybe my mother is right and it will help me. Maybe I will be able to crawl out of this emptiness that consumes me. Maybe I’ll meet someone who will be able to help me. Maybe...

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