Criticism- The Wrong Way To Happiness

A coral reef is a place full of color and life, where hundreds of different species of plants, animals and fish live without the need to criticize each other. Although there exists an immense variety of life, every plant knows its place and each fish knows exactly where it belongs. Once in a while a human diver appears with a mask and an air-tank, and like everybody else there, he too is not critical. The diver enjoys being a visitor in the under-water world and to observe, without any judgment, the richness and beauty of Nature.

Things get a little different the moment the diver steps out of the water and back on to dry land. The dry land accommodates a large variety of humans, but humans seem to hold so many opinions about each other, and the game of criticizing others is their most favorite entertainment.

On the human reef, we sit on small balconies, observe our neighbors and complain: the octopus is a mess, the crab is a terrified idiot, the jellyfish is spineless, the silver fish is obsessed with glamour, the eel is too smooth, and all the shallow water fish are limited and have no depth. This is how it is in every house, in every city, all over the world.

Criticism is so widely spread that some consider it a superb social skill and are constantly sharpening this expertise. They are not aware that the stronger the stream of criticism becomes, the further happiness drifts away.

It is romantic to travel to far away places, to walk hand in hand in a new and unfamiliar environment, like two divers visiting a new coral reef. They do not understand the language and they are not familiar with the food. They sleep in a room much smaller than they have at home, they only have what brought in the suitcase, and yet they are having a great time. People really do touch happiness while traveling abroad because they avoid wasting time on being for or against what they see all around. They simply observe and enjoy.

The diver at the reef is also surrounded by the wonder and awe of observation, but the moment he starts to analyze and criticize, the magical, romantic atmosphere disappears. Tourists return home and quickly forget that this is also a reef.

Two thousand five hundred years ago, the Buddha gave a small discourse on criticism. He said that while it is easy to find and point out other people's faults, it is most difficult to find our own. He also said that most people hide their own faults, like a dishonest gambler hides unlucky cards.

The Bedouins of the desert have a similar saying – The camel cannot see his own hump!

So how can we see our own hump? To solve this riddle we must realize that we are not able to criticize our own hump, because this hump is exactly where criticism comes from.

When we find out "what is wrong" with others, we criticize them, but criticism is completely of our own making, and it has nothing to do with the other. It is only our own faults and negativity that are reflected in others. It is our own hump that criticizes others for having a terrible hump.

The inner voice, residing in our transparent hump, guarantees its survival by the good feeling it provides when patronizing others. It specializes in finding out what is wrong with others and it is fed by the good feeling of being better than others.

If our sense of self-worthiness is lacking, criticism becomes our way of avoiding self-examination. Realizing this is the first step.

The next step is to bravely decide to remove the hump and consciously throw our obsessive criticism out of our lives. One must not only decide this, and it is a huge step, but it is also necessary to remind oneself daily of this decision. Write yourself notes and stick them on all the mirrors of the house, make a big issue out of it - because it is so easy to fall asleep again.

Your hump often fools you, telling you that you are ok and that you have a good sense of self-criticism, but don’t let it deceive you. This is a very common lie. All forms of criticism come from the same hump, and as we said before, the hump is not capable of seeing itself, no matter what it says.

When the spotlight of criticism is turned inside it has nothing at all to do with condemnation, disapproval or criticism. When YOU look inside, it is called wakefulness, mindfulness and awareness.

A very high spiritual achievement is the realization that you are neither above nor below anyone else. When this understanding is not merely intellectual but goes to the deepest core of your heart, it will give you the freedom you are looking for, and will also allow you the freedom of letting everyone else be exactly who and what they want to be.

One who feels that he is not superior will have a modest way of behaving, and one who knows that he is not inferior will never be afraid.

A hundred percent ordinary,
Is truly extra-ordinary.
From moment to moment,
Without any judgment,
The truth we seek is reality itself.
On a hot summer night,
There is no need for criticism in order to open the window.
In autumn,
Without any opinions,
We take the warm blankets out of the closet.