Critical of Critics

Have you ever noticed how some people, who clearly have enough of their own flaws, faults and issues (as we all do), seem compelled to constantly find fault in others?

And they're not critical in a "hey, I want to help you and here's some thoughtful feedback" kind of way. No, it's more of a "I'm an insecure tool who tries to make himself feel (or look) better by being critical of others" kind of thing.

One of the challenges of being a personal development writer and speaker is that some people (erroneously) assume that I must have it all together (which I clearly don't; just ask my friends)... or that I think I have it all together (which I know I don't).
But you know what?... I'm okay with being a work in progress.
In fact, I kinda dig it.
I love the learning thing.
It's fun.

By the way, we're all works in progress.

One of the reasons I get so excited about learning and growing is because I know how much I don't know... and for that reason, I'm passionate about, and committed to, my life-long personal development journey (be that physical, emotional, spiritual and / or intellectual). If I waited until I 'had it all figured out' before I started to write, teach, mentor, coach or try and help people, I would never do anything.

Okay, maybe I'd watch Oprah and eat.

I'm not interested in pointing out (perceived) flaws in others when I clearly have more than enough work of my own to do.

I recently wrote an honest account of my experience meeting an incredible woman named Lee which generated some positive feedback. In writing the post my sole intention was to inspire and challenge, and to tell a story; that's it.
Interestingly, someone wrote a comment on another web-site (where the post was also displayed) saying that the piece was an attempt at blatant self-promotion... and if you (the reader) care to view the post, I think you'll find the only person being promoted (for her amazing attitude and achievements) was Lee.

Now, I'm okay with criticism (I get plenty) and I'm not precious about people having opinions about me or my work (good or bad)... in fact, I'm kind of grateful to my critic because it was the catalyst for this post... but I always wonder with criticism.. what's the point?

Does it fix anything?
Does it (typically) create positive outcomes?
And if we are all about positive change and self-improvement (as I'm guessing most of us are, that's why we visit this site!), why do we get into it?

Let's make 2007 the year where you (and I) don't criticise anyone.

So to all my would-be future critics, feel free to provide constructive, helpful, thoughtful feedback (be it positive or negative) and I will not only consider it, but I will act upon it if I feel it's warranted and I'll be appreciative of your input.

However, if all you want to do is be a negative, condescending, opinionated, critic then perhaps you should start working on yourself before you try and ridicule others publicly... 'cause I'm not interested in your negative, bitchy, thoughts.

Take your crappy energy somewhere else.

The determinant between constructive feedback (which is what we all need) and pointless criticism (which is what nobody needs) is the motivation behind it.

Are they
A. Genuinely interested in helping you?
B. All about making themselves look good and you look stupid?

It's pretty easier to figure out.

Sometimes I wonder if people who constantly criticise have any self-awareness.
Do they not get that being a (typically) critical person ain't a great character trait?
Being overtly and consistently critical of others will (over time) be more detrimental for the critic than it will the recipient/s.

You know what is a great character trait?
Humility.

Give that a try... it tends to work better.

I'm not sure what it's like in other parts of the world, but in Australia our politicians have a propensity to do anything and everything to publicly humiliate, embarrass and criticise their political opponents. I'm no political analyst but as a bloke who votes, I care about what type of person the politician is (crazy I know) and when I see him or her up there doing their best to publicly destroy someone else, I lose respect for them.. not for the person they're attacking.

So next time you feel compelled to take aim at someone, maybe hold that thought and ask yourself what you need to change about yourself first.. or if you do decide to proceed, analyse your motives carefully, and honestly consider what you will achieve through your criticism.

Here's what the good book says about being critical of others:

Matthew 5:7
Be sure to take the plank out of your own eye and then you will see clearly to take the splinter out of your brother's eye.

And to my critic who thinks I'm a blatant self-promoter, here, have a cyber-hug ( ) and good luck with your blog.