Crazy Drunken Ranting

I love the way some people read certain things that other individuals write and completely flip the fuck out. All the blood rushes to their head, their temples throb, they completely lose their temper, more than likely lose control of their bowels in their pants, and go on a raging tirade about the piece of literature that they've just read.

I recall several times I've posted some very serious pieces of literature and as a result, received raging emails, comments, and vicious insults.

People scream, "How on earth do you expect me to believe this?!?"

or "How dare you write something that makes me so angry and repulsed!?!"

or "What gives you the right!?!"

even better: "You have a mental problem!
Just lock yourself in your room and leave the rest of the world alone!!"

or "I just read your story, became violently ill, and threw up all over my keyboard! You owe me two hundred dollars!!"

or one of my personal favorites, "Now I know now why I've never seen you published anywhere: Because you're a complete loser who needs to get a life!!"

When I'm reading something, I can usually tell within the first paragraph whether or not I want to continue reading. So here's a suggestion: if you make it through the first few sentences and you aren't captivated and overjoyed by what you've just read, stop reading. That's right. Just stop moving your weepy fucking eyes over the words on the screen, because the more you read, the more disgruntled and upset you're going to become.

If you don't like it, don't read it. And if you don't like it and you STILL somehow force yourself to read it, then I really don't give two shits about what you have to say. Writing's just a small hobby of mine and nothing more.
After all, I don't go to your living room and piss all over your quilting, take a shit on your jigsaw puzzles, lick all the stamps in your collection, or whatever stupid hobbies you may be into. However, maybe I should...