Coping with Miscarriage

Miscarriage is referred to the condition of spontaneous ending of the pregnancy. Signs of miscarriage may show up due to many reasons and at any stage, before the 25th week of gestation. Early pregnancy miscarriage also occurs in certain medical conditions, infections and due to bad habits as well. One of every five couples go through the devastating experience of miscarriage. Coping with miscarriage is the toughest of all the challenges that the person has to face.

Miscarriage comes with loads of mixed emotions like sadness, guilt, fear and depression. The woman who has had a miscarriage may suffer from a total depression. She hates to meet other people, friends, relatives, do any work, even getting out of the bed gets impossible for her. Miscarriage makes a women weak physically as well as mentally. Physical agony and pain maybe relieved with proper medication and help from the doctor, but coping with miscarriage emotionally is a tough task that a woman has to do on her own.

Coping with Miscarriage
When a miscarriage occurs it affects both the expecting mother and the father, equally. The most important thing to do while coping with miscarriage is to feel the blend of all the mixed emotions. Denial of any emotion can work as a boomerang that can harm more than the sadness itself. Feel the sadness and agony very truly and honestly, it is the best way to get over the grief. As William Cowper says grief is itself a medicine.

Feel the Shock
An awful feeling, but shock is the important initial part of the coping process. When the feeling of shock is over the situation of terrible grief arises. Grieving can help you heal your agony. I would like to mention here that do not try to hide your pain. You have lost a precious thing and you deserve to feel sad for it. Grief of different levels is experienced and expressed very differently by both the partners. Woman's expression of grief can get more louder than that of the man's. Though he is devastated, he keeps aside his own pain and act as if he is not hurt, which is in a way right as he has to make sure that she comes out of the initial stage of shock and grief as soon as possible. Women on the other hand, can express their grief on a wide scale of emotions, most predominantly guilt and anger that is developed through the feeling of grief. All these feelings are very normal, obvious and very important in the process of coping with miscarriage. But, life doesn't end here, one has to move away from his grieving in search of a new happiness.

Turn to Each Other
Supporting each other firmly is the initial thing that comes in the process of coping with miscarriage. Never let the miscarriage strain the healthy relation that you have had before the incident. Instead of finding who's fault was it, just stay connected to each other's emotions. Support each other and spend some time that is solely meant for the two of you. You can go for a movie, a calm walk, a stress relieving vacation to a favorite place. Staying close to each really proves helpful.

Social Connection
Coping with miscarriage gets difficult when one has to deal with people other than your partner. People come to visit you and bring about the same story again and again, churning back the bad memories. Listening to the comments like "it was God's wish", "you can have another baby", "you can always try again" will definitely sound insensitive. Always remember that the visitors and family members are trying to help you despite the fact that they do not know how to deal with such situation themselves. Make sure you convey your emotions to your loved ones the best as you can. Make sure you thank them all very politely for the support that they showed all along.

Tips for Coping with Miscarriage
After the initial trauma, it is very important to try and get over it as soon as possible. Too much grieving may land you in depression. Coping with miscarriage is indeed difficult but getting out of it can be made easier by doing some small things (even against your own will). I am not trying to preach you all, still here are some tips that might sound helpful for coping with miscarriage.

• Read Books: Reading books about miscarriage is one of the greatest way to get over the pain. These books will give you the correct scientific information that will inform you about the exact reason and the meaning of miscarriage. Those of you who do not want to listen to the dry preaching of the doctors can also browse some online books and miscarriage helplines that are dedicated for coping with miscarriage.
• Write It Down: Writing your whole experience right from the beginning is the excellent way to let out the grief. Both of the partners should start keeping journals and show it to each other at a point of time. Reading each other's experiences will prove helpful in overcoming the grief.
• Art of Listening: As said earlier, your family members and friends will visit you and give some remarks that you might find totally insensitive at that point of time. But if you calm yourself down and listen, then you will come to know that they are also right. If what they are saying sounds a little harsh, then ask them not to talk and that you are fine without their advice.
• Stay Busy: After a certain point of time, when you are physically fine, keep yourself engaged in some work or the other. Make sure you are not idle at any point of time. Keep yourself engaged in any of your favorite hobby that will keep you busy as well as relieve you off the feeling of loss.
• Support Group: Find out the midwifery as well as pregnancy loss support groups in your area and join them, the forums and the communication programs will prove helpful in the process of coping with miscarriage. Despite all efforts, if it's still hard for you to alleviate your grief, think of getting professional miscarriage help from a counselor who will help you come to terms with your feeling of loss.

One must consult the obstetrician before trying to conceive after miscarriage. Keep in mind that pregnancy after miscarriage is possible when you keep yourself updated with the signs of miscarriage and take precautions for the same.

There are things that we don't want to happen but have to accept, things we don't want to know but have to learn, and people we can't live without but have to let go. Coping with miscarriage is hard for both you as well as your partner, but with strong will power, support and love, you will definitely come out stronger. Take care!